


Dream Catcher

by White_Dandelion



Category: The Walking Dead & Related Fandoms, The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Blood and Gore, Canon-Typical Violence, Daryl Dixon Smut, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff and Smut, Gore, Inspired by The Walking Dead, Merle Dixon Lives, Porn With Plot, Possessive Daryl Dixon, Protective Daryl Dixon, Romance, Sex, Survival Horror, Violence, Violence Against Walkers (Walking Dead), Walkers, Walkers (Walking Dead)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-02
Updated: 2020-11-29
Packaged: 2021-03-06 06:22:08
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 23
Words: 69,242
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25668892
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/White_Dandelion/pseuds/White_Dandelion
Summary: Twenty three years old Alice Hunter knew way before the end of the world how dark the human soul could be and she saw with her own eye it could be even darker after the dead awoke. When she is saved from death and brought back to a farm she don't know what to do. She think her best shot at survival is to go her own way. But is it really? Alice never really had something she could call a family but she finds one in the most unexpected place. She though life was a nightmare but she will learn dreams can come through even in this forsaken world.
Relationships: Daryl Dixon/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 42
Kudos: 79





	1. Nightmare

**Author's Note:**

> Hello :) so I don't even know if the walking dead fanfiction still interest anyone but I've been a fan for a long time now and I've deceided to give it a go.  
> Daryl is my favorite character of all so this will definitely be a Daryl fanfiction.
> 
> Also, I'd like to say english is not my first language so excuse the grammar as it may be a little wrong sometimes...
> 
> I will try to follow the timeline and respect the characters personnality as much as I can but I may change some things (little or big) if it benefit where I want to go with this story. 
> 
> Obviously I don't own the walking dead storyline and characters, the only things I own of this story is what happens around Alice character.
> 
> On that note I hope you enjoy the story, feel free to comment and give your opinions. I will try to update regularly but I can't promise anything since I'm a working mom but I will try my best :)
> 
> Warnings for violence, gore, crude language, smut, abuse, and maybe even sexual abuse I'm not sure yet but you if you're freaked out by any of those maybe you shouldn't read this story.

I replaced the hood of my blue hoodie underneath the collar of my black leather jacket, frowning at the pain that radiated from my left arm. Taking the rag from my back pocket, I wiped the sweat and blood that was coating my forehead with a shaky hand. I let out a shallow breath, my dry mouth and throat feeling as if I had swallowed a fist full of sand.

I had been walking for what felt like days now. My head was pounding with every single one of my steps and I had trouble keeping the black dots that clouded my vision at bay. The blood loss from the knife wound in my left shoulder making the trees around me a blurry mess of green and brown. 

With every step I took, I could feel the little energy I had slip between my fingers. I hadn't eaten anything other than a granola bar in days and the slow shuffle of the wind in the surrounding trees felt like a lullaby to my battered body.

I could hear the moans of the walkers following me as I tried to put as much distance as I could between us. I adjusted the heavy backpack on my shoulders, the straps digging in my back and sending a wave of pain all over my body. 

"Come on, just a little bit further" I whispered to myself as I went over a rotten tree trunk.

If I had read the map I found right, there was a little town not too far east. I had to make it there as soon as possible before the sun came down if I didn't want to be out when night came. I would not be able to stay awake in the condition I was in and I had to find a shelter for the night. The prospect of somewhere to get some much-needed rest, and maybe even food if I was lucky, was the nicest feeling I had since being on the road.

The snapping of a twig got me out of my daydream just as a walker jumped right in front of me, making me slip on the muddy ground in the process. Adrenaline flooded my body as I braced myself for the impact with the ground, my hold on my machete failing as I went down. 

I couldn't stop the squeal that came out of my mouth as the wound on my shoulder reopened when the walker fell on me, his jaw snapping inches away from my throat, the skin of his face flapping around as it snapped at me again and again. I frowned when his putrid smell invaded my nose. I desperately reached for my weapon in the thick mud, my good hand trying to keep the snapping teeth as far as I possibly could, sinking in the decaying flesh of the walker in the process. 

Realizing I would not be able to reach the machete lying a couple of feet away from my hand, I started patting my leg for my knife, the movement sending a shock wave of pain trough my damaged shoulder. I left out a painful sight when my hand finally grazed the handle of the combat knife strapped to my thigh.

I grunted as I plunged it in the walker temple, shuffling as far as I could from underneath its still body. I got up, put my knife back in its sheath and got my muddy machete off the ground, falling on my knees as a wave of nausea went trough me at the sight of all the mud and smelling guts that was covering me. 

When I finally managed to get back on my feet, I saw that the three walkers that had been following me were getting dangerously closer, drawn by the noise of my recent encounter. Knowing I would not be able to take the three of them in a fight in the state I was in without the 9 mm pistol that sat empty in my bag, I made my way toward the highway I was following from the shelter of the forest. Hoping to lose at least one, if not two of them, on my way.

I could see the cars lining the side of the road from where I was. If I played my cards right, I would be able to lose them in between the vehicles littering the highway. I let out a grunt as my foot touched the pavement, the adrenaline from my earlier fight slowly leaving me and making me feel even weaker than I was before.

I made my way between the cars, my shaky legs making it hard to navigate between the objects that covered the ground under me. The sound of the walkers behind me was getting louder and louder, no matter how hard I tried to put as much distance between us as I could.

The black dots in my vision where winning the fight and the idea of falling where I was standing, to let the nightmare engulf me, was becoming more and more appealing with every step I took. I was painfully aware of every bone in my body and my mind was becoming numb, not able to stop the pain.

The walkers on my tail were getting dangerously close as I tried to catch my breath. I fell backward when a hand grabbed my ankle from underneath a truck, the shock knocking the air out of my lungs. I let out a blood curling scream as I repeatedly kicked the walker in the head. Its face caved in with a sickening crunch, its hand falling lifelessly as I dragged myself away from the truck. My head was pounding and I could hear my heart beating in my ears.

In my haze I heard something in the distance. It couldn't be. It had to be my tired mind playing a trick on me, trying to make the darkness creeping up on me more appealing. I shook my head, trying to clear the fog almost completly enveloping me. I could distinctly hear the sound of hooves on the asphalt. 

Forgetting about the walkers following me I started running in the direction of the noise, my legs nearly giving up under me as I tried to dodge between them in a desperate attempt to find the source of the noise. The last thing I saw before darkness welcomed me with open arms was the brain matter of the walker reaching for me splashing on the road.


	2. Wake up call

I opened my eyes, blinking rapidly, trying to clear the fog that blurred everything around me. I tried to move my arm and realized it didn't hurt as much as it should. My whole body was numb and I welcomed the feeling, a sigh escaping my chapped lips.

The peace I felt quickly disappered when I realized I was lying in a bed. I started to panic when, from the corner of my eyes, I saw an old men standing in front of a dresser a couple of feet away with his back turn to me.

"I wouldn't move too fast if I was you." He said turning his blue eyes in my direction. "You've been out of it for a couple of days and you're going to pop your stitches if you're not careful enough when you move your left arm ." 

"Who are you... How did I got here?" I asked, my voice cracking from lack of use.

"Name's Hershel. My daughter Maggie found you while coming back from a supply run in the town. You were in terrible shape, for a moment I thought you wouldn't make it."

"Well thank you for the hospitality, but I think I will be going now." I replied hastily getting up looking around for my back pack, a curse escaping my mouth when the room started spinning around me.

"Now young lady, you better watch your mouth while you're on my farm. I won't tolerate this kind of language in my house." He said handing me a glass of water that was left on the bedside table and two white pills.

I sat back on the bed, took the pills he was handing me without thinking too much about it and gulped down the content of the glass. The water felt nice as it got down my sore throat. Hershel was watching me carefully, his gaze reminding me of the one a disappointed grandfather would give you. I shuffled uncomfortably from my spot on the bed, waiting silently for him to continue.

"You have a severe concussion, are highly dehydrated, you got a stab wound in your shoulder and a cracked rib not to mention you are obviously malnourished." He gave me a harsh look. "Now I really advise you take it easy for a couple more days. I'll ask my daughter Beth to find you some clothes that fit. There's a shower in the room over there, I highly advise you take one if you don't want that knife wound to get infected." He pointed at the door in the corner of the room. "You should also talk to Rick once you're done, I have no doubt he will have a couple of questions for you." He added, leaving me before I could even ask who this Rick was, let alone any of the other questions that were running wildly in my mind.

"...did he really said shower?" I whispered in disbelief to myself as I tried to remember the last time I took one. I scrunched my nose when I realized I couldn't recall when that was, suddenly too aware of the grime and blood that covered my body.

I sat there inspecting my surroundings. The room I was in was spotless, making me feel out of place in my dirty jeans and tank top. My leather jacket and my hoodie were hanging from a hook on the door. The yellow curtain slowly floating in the fresh breeze coming from the open window. I could see the green pasture outside, cow grazing in the distance. It felt peaceful here, but I knew I couldn't stay too long with what happened with my last group. I didn't know these people and for all I knew they could be dangerous.

The sound of the door opening got me out of my thought when a young blonde girl came in the room with a pile of neatly folded clothes in her hands. It must be Beth, the daughter Hershel mentioned before leaving.

"Dad said you could use a change of clothes." She said looking shyly at the floor. "I'll take the one you have and get them cleaned if you want." She added, finally looking at me with a shy smile.

"Thank you" I said, taking the clothes she was handing me. I stood there, not really knowing what more to say.

"I'm Beth, what's your Name?" She asked in her small voice.

"Alice" I said, shifting uncomfortably from one foot to the other. I didn't want to get close to these people. "Hum...your dad mentioned a Rick earlier...who is he?"

She looked like she was thinking for a moment. "I think he's the leader of the people staying outside. But dad won't let them stay." Her eyes filled with tears. "They're only staying until his son is feeling better, Otis shot him by accident." Her voice cracked at the mention of Otis name.

"Oh...ok. well thank you again for the clothes, I think I can manage from here." I said, tapping the pile of fabric draped on my arm.

She left the room hastily, not even looking at me and I let out a sigh. I slowly made my way toward the door Hershel pointed earlier, painfully aware of how heavy every limb on my body felt.

When I finally made it to the bathroom, I carefully placed the pile of clothes on the toilet lid before looking at myself in the mirror. My long red hair were matted by sweat, mud and blood. The dark circles around my green eyes a cruel reminder of how shitty I felt. I lifted my shirt and poked my bruised ribs, letting out a low hiss at the pain that radiated from them.

I got out of my dirty clothes, flinching when I felt the stitches on my shoulder straining. I reach for the shower faucet and got the water running, a smile making its way on my lips when I realized it was warm. Now I would have taken the cold shower without a complaint, but the idea of a warm one was even better in the state I was in. I stepped in and I couldn't stop the moan that escaped my throat when I felt the warm water making its way down my body, taking the dirt that caked my skin along with it.

I took a minute to enjoy the feeling, watching the dirty water pooling at my feet before getting down the drain. I scrubbed my body clean, carefully avoiding being too rough with the wound on my shoulder, before washing my hair.

I turned down the water, already missing the feeling of it going down my torso and legs, but feeling better already with a clean body. I hadn't felt this nice in a long time and I let out a content sigh as I grabbed a clean towel on the shelf next to the shower.

I dried myself, discovering a couple more bruises I didn't know about in the process, before putting on the black bra and panties, blue jeans, black tank top and purple plaid flannel shirt Beth gave me. Surprisingly everything was fitting me and I took a look at myself before taking the brush in the cabinet. I carefully untangled my long hair before putting them in a high ponytail. Finally satisfied with not looking like a walker anymore, I folded my dirty clothes in a pile before making my way back to the room.

I scanned the room looking for my combat boots and found them at the foot of the bed. I sat down and put them on, my eye falling on my bag sitting in a corner on the room. I got up quickly, ignoring the pain in my ribs, and started going trough it. Nothing was missing but I quickly noticed my knife, pistol and machete were nowhere in sight.

I got up from my crunched position and furiously made my way toward the door. I should have known I couldn't thrust these people. Who in their right mind would take someone's weapon in the world we lived in now?

I exited the room in a hall. Following the voices, I made my way to a dinning room. Beth was sitting at the table, talking with an older woman while eating eggs, their conversation stopping abruptly when they noticed me. I ignored the grumbling sound my stomach made at the sight of food and gave them a furious look.

"Where is Hershel?" I asked angrily.

Beth nodded toward the kitchen, looking scarred by my outburst.

"Wait!" The older women said getting up and trying to stop me.

I pushed past her, ignoring her pleas to calm down as I made my way toward the kitchen. When I came in I saw Hershel standing there with a serious look on his face, talking with a man with light brown curly hair and a clean-shaven face.

"What are you..." Hershel started when he saw me storming in like a tornado.

"Where are my weapons?" I asked almost screaming.

The man next to him eyed me carefully visibly trying to asses how much of a treat I was. 

"Now we took your weapons because we didn't know who you were." Hershel answered in a harsh voice. "I won't put my family at risk by leaving a stranger walk around my propriety with weapons." He explained, his stern tone making me nervous.

"Well aren't you a feisty one." The other man said looking at me. "My name's Rick Grimes, get something to eat and then, when you calm down, you and I need to have a little chat."

Rick left the room, leaving me alone with Hershel who was looking at me with worried eyes. I shifted uncomfortably, feeling like a kid under his scrutinizing gaze.

"I'm sorry." I mumbled looking at my feet suddenly ashamed of my reaction. 

"Patricia? Get Alice here something to eat." He said toward the older woman from earlier. He gave me a warning look before leaving me alone with her in the small kitchen.

"Well let me make you a sandwich dear." She said while pushing me carefully toward the table where Beth was eyeing me cautiously.

*****

I was standing on the porch of the house, the warm Georgia sun warming my bones as I looked at the group of people camping outside. An old man with a fisherman hat and an hawaian shirt was sitting on the roof of a RV, watching for walkers in the distance with a riffle leaning on his camping chair. The women hanging laundry close by stopped what they were doing when they saw me starring. 

Holding the handrail, I slowly made my way down the stairs. In the distance, I could see an Asian guy waving at me, making his way toward the house. He smiled when he stopped in front of where I was standing.

"Hey! I'm Glenn, nice to see you made it!" He said before he saw the puzzled look on my face and quickly added "I found you with Maggie on the road, I thought you were a goner for sure when I saw the state you were in, we almost mistook you for a walker for a second there."

"Well I guess I own you a Thank you then" I said absentmindedly, my eyes scanning the lawn of the farm, noticing the fresh looking grave not too far in the distance. "Any chances you would know where I can find Rick? He said he and I needed to talk." I added trying to end this awkward conversation as fast as I could. 

He recoiled at my harsh tone before pointing Rick and another man bent down on the hood of a car looking at a map, deep in conversation. "Right over there." He said, shooting me a disappointed glance before making his way back toward the RV.

I ignored the looks people were giving me as I made my way toward Rick and the other man. Their conversation stopped when they saw me approaching. 

"Hey, glad to see you calmed down." Rick said nodding my way. "This is my partner Shane, Shane this is Alice, the girl Glenn and Maggie found the other day." Shane only nodded in response, scanning me from head to toes.

"What are you guys police or something?" I joked nervously, trying to ignore Shane look, before quickly realizing they were serious.

"Used to be." Shane simply answered, his constant gaze causing goosebumps to erupt in my back and making me shuffle uncomfortably from one leg to the other.

I knew the crazy gleam in his eyes, I saw it plenty of times before. His shaven head and authoritarian stance definitely betrayed his past as a policeman but the spark in his eyes weren't those of a good attentioned man. I didn't need a neon sign to know I needed to keep my distance with him. If the people in this group didn't look like they were dangerous, he certainly did.

"Shane!" A woman called from the distance, finally breaking his cold stare. He gave a nod to Rick, patting his shoulder, and gave me one last glance before he left with the woman.

"You said you wanted to talk to me?" I asked, my eyes still following Shane as he got in a light green Hyundai with the tall blond.

He let out a sigh, massaging his temple before motioning for me to follow him. I walked a few steps behind him toward a spot where we would not be over heard in the back of the house. Once we got there he motioned for me to sit on the bottom of the back porch stairs. I sat down, looking at him expectantly.

"What happened to you?" He asked, giving me a curious look.

"That's my business, not yours." I shrugged.

"See those people out here? They're my business, if you're going to be around them that make what hapenned to you my business." He pointed at me.

I huffed, crossing my arm. "Look..." I started. "I don't want to sound ungratefull or whatever...but I don't really plan to stay and from what I heard you guys won't be staying either anyways."

He looked at me with a surprised look, before pacing in front of me.

"You can't survive without people anymore." He said, a serious look on his face when he turned back to me.

I let out a discouraged sigh and looked at him "how the hell am I supposed to know I can trust you people? How am I supposed to know you won't just leave me behind when shit hits the fan?" I swallowed hard, trying to fight the tear that were clouding my vision.

"You don't..." he sat down next to me, a serious look on his tired face. "Listen I don't know how long you were on your own but..."

"I was with a group." I whispered. "There was a lot of us at first, most of them were good people. We started loosing people and before I could realize there was only six of us left." I let out a shaky breath. "They weren't good people, but I was so scared of leaving on my own... we were on the road for a little while. One night our camp got overrun by walker..."

Rick put his hand on my shoulder, not saying anything, patiently waiting for me to continue.

"Me and one of the guys...Vincent, we got separated from the rest. We got cornered by a couple of walkers. He tried to..." I trailed off, sniffling. "Long story short, he stabbed me and tried to use me as a diversion so he could escape the walkers but I got out. When I finally catched up with him we got into a fight...Walkers got him. I'm the only one that's left now." I wiped a stray tear from my face before looking at him.

He gave me a knowing look, patting my back before getting up. 

"Listen I get where you're coming from but these people out here, they're good people." He looked at the sky, visibly searching for his next words. "Listen we are not leaving right now...I can't force you to stay with us but I will ask you to think about it."

"Hershel's daugther told me about your son...I'm sorry" 

He nodded at me. "Think about it." He said before leaving me alone.


	3. Everything that's lost

I almost didn't sleep that night, Rick's words kept replaying in my mind, stuck in a loop. Deep down I knew he was right when he said we couldn't make it alone anymore. Hell I nearly died on my own out there, the bruises littering my body a painful reminder of how close I was to biting the dust. This fact alone was the reason I didn't leave the group I was with before, even if I knew they were dangerous, and it was the reason I was still at the farm. I was not ready to trust these people entirely but I could at least think about giving them a chance like he asked. 

I got out of my tent, letting the already high sun warm my face as I stretched carefully, looking at the surrounding scene. The old man from yesterday was still keeping watch on the RV, the blond woman from yesterday sitting with him. Rick was talking to Shane in front of the house and a short brown haired guy, dressed in blue jeans and a sleeveless plaid shirt was sitting on the side, skinning squirrels. He was weirdly sitting apart from the rest of the group, and I wondered why for a second before noticing Glenn from the corner of my eyes.

Gathering my courage, I made my way toward him, feeling like I owed him an apology after yesterday's conversation. "Hey" I said standing awkwardly in front of him.

"I'm sorry about yesterday, I must have sounded like a total bitch." I let out quickly. "If it wasn't for you and Maggie....if it wasn't for you two I would probably be dead right now..." I could feel a blush taking over my face.

He shot me a thousand watt smile. "Don't worry about it. I get it, it's hard to know if you can trust people nowadays."

"Yeah well you could have left me to die out there, but you didn't and that's something to be thankful for." 

I was standing there fidgeting nervously with my hands, when I noticed a young woman around my age making her way toward us. She was clutching a basket full of eggs, her short brown hair bouncing in the breeze with every step she took. 

"Maggie!" Glenn said, getting up like a spring. 

My head whipped in her direction and I ignored the pain in my shoulder, wanting to thank the girl half responsible for my still beating heart.

"I don't believe we met officially, but I really wanted to thank you for bringing me back..."

She looked me up and down, holding a hand to stop me and smiled. "No problem honey, where would the world go if we weren't able to help each other?" She turned to Glenn, her smile suddenly disappearing. "Can I talk to you for a minute?"

Not knowing what to do with myself after Glenn left with Maggie, I made my way to the women that were cooking next to the clump of tent closer to the RV. A woman with long dark brown hair smiled at me, motioning for me to sit next to her. I sat down on the camping chair and looked at my feet, once again feeling awkward under those people attention. 

I was never good at meeting new people, even before all of this. Not that I couldn't talk to strangers, it's the getting to know people part I sucked at. Sure I had some friends before the apocalypse but it was only a handful of people. Not to mention that if the last months had taught me anything at all, it was that desperate people did desperate things and the world was full of desperate people now that civilization went to hell. 

"It's Alice right? I'm Lori, Rick's wife" She said, handing me a bowl of baked beans. 

I nodded gratefully at her, my stomach growling at the prospect of food. I watched her carefully, trying to read her intention. She had a tired and worried look on her face, but she looked strong. Not physically, but she definitely looked like a woman who would do anything for the ones she loved.

"Rick told me about you" She started when she saw I wasn't saying anything. "I get that you might have doubts, but I really hope you will think about staying."

"Jury's still out" I replied poking at the content of my bowl, my appetite suddenly out of the building. I was trying really hard to make it look as if I wasn't shaken by her words, but she clearly wasn't having any of it.

She gave me a knowing look, my facade not fooling her, and took my hand in both of hers. "Look" she said in a lower voice, careful for the woman with short gray hair that was close by not to hear us. "I hope you won't be mad...but Rick told me what happened with your last group...I...I may not be able to promise you nothing bad will ever happen to you if you choose to stay with us, nobody can promise that anymore. What I can promise you is that none of the people you see here would deliberately do something that would hurt you." Her tone was soft, almost motherly.

Lori squeezed my hand and left me alone with the gray haired woman, patting her shoulder when she passed by her. The woman kept staring at me from her seat across from mine. I gave her a questioning look, and she just adverted her eyes. She reminded me of a wounded animal, ready to run if you made any sudden movement.

"Is there a problem?" I asked. She simply shock her head no and I couldn't help but notice the sad look on her face.

"I'm sorry it's just....your tattoo, it's gorgeous," she pointed at the white lily flowers tattoo sleeve on my right arms.

"They're white lily's, they're the symbol for purity and rebirth." I couldn't hold the small grin that made its way to my face. I was really proud of my tattoos, I wore them like war paint. Each one of them a reminder of something.

She told me her name was Carol, and we exchange a couple of words before falling in an uncomfortable silence. The smiles she gave me never really reaching her eyes. I finished my lunch and looked around, taking in the untouched state of the farm. It felt so calm here, so peaceful, that it almost looked as if the world didn't end. My eyes fell once again on the guy with the squirrels and I frowned. "What's this guy's deal?" I asked nodding in his direction.

"Just Daryl being Daryl." Was her only answer and I frowned again.

Compared to the others in his group, he looked like he had been made for the apocalypse. He looked unfazed by the blood and squirrel's intestines lying in front of him and a crossbow was resting on the trunk he was sitting on. Before all of this he would probably never catch my eyes, I don't even think we would have crossed path. He was the typical redneck, his rough appearance giving him a bad boy vibe. Exactly the type of guys I had made a life of avoiding. He looked in his element as he was cleaning what seems to be an arrow.

He stopped what he was doing and I quickly adverted my gaze when his eyes met mine.

*****

Later that day I was helping Lori fold the laundry, trying to make myself as useful as possible. She told me about what they went trough before finding the farm, only a day before I got here. She recalled their camps at the quarry, her reunion with Rick, their night at the CDC, the horde on the highway with Carol's little girl going missing and Carl getting shot while looking for her. Their group had been trough so much, yet they still weren't giving up. I could definitely respect them for still keeping a strong face after all of that.

"I'm sorry you had to go trough all of that." I told her, looking at her son that was playing further in the grass. 

She looked thoughtful for a minute before she stopped what she was doing and looked at me.

"Don't be, we're here now and that's all that count." She gave Carl a side glance. "Beside you have nothing to do with it, there is nothing for you to apologize for."

Our conversation was cut short when, in the distance we saw Rick, Hershel and a young man I didn't know pushing two walkers toward the barn with tall sticks looped around their necks. Lori and Carl started running toward them and I followed as fast as I could with my injuries. 

I finally reached them at the same time as Shane. He was freaking out, screaming at Hershel that they weren't people anymore, that there was no saving them. He started shooting one of the walkers repeatedly to prove his point, before putting it down with a headshot. Rick's people, noticing the commotion, started running toward us. 

Shane was screaming at everybody that this was the right thing to do if they wanted to live, everyone pleading with him to stop. Rick was looking helplessly at him as he struggled to keep his grip on the rod, the walker snarling at the end. Shane ignored his friends pleas and unlocked the barn's doors, loudly knocking on it before taking a few step back, taking his gun out. I was speechless when I saw the walkers slowly getting out of the barn one by one. Lori pushed her son behind her as the group got in position to eliminate the treats. Hershel was on his knees, a look of complete horror on his face. Maggie was behind her dad crying and Beth was clutching the young man's shirt as she watched Rick's group take down the walkers one by one.

When the last of the walkers fell, I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding. Who in their right mind would keep walkers in a barn? That was so messed up. Shane had a crazy look on his face as he looked back at Rick. They stood motionless, staring each other down when a growl got our attention back to the barn.

I watched in horror as a little girl stumbled out, her short hair dirty and her clothes full of blood. She let out a low snarl as she slowly made her way toward us, her arm raised in front of her. My heart clenched when I heard Carol blood curling scream.

"SOFIAAA" she sobbed running toward her little girl.

Daryl caught her, and she fell to the ground, calling her daughter's name over and over between her heartbreaking sobs. Lori was clutching her son to her chest, trying as hard as she could to shelter him from the horror standing in front of us while everyone else was standing in total shock, Carol cries the only thing breaking the uncomfortable silence.

I watched, motionless as Rick took a few steps in the little girl's direction, raising his gun. The silence surrounding us was heavy with unspoken words. Lori told me how hard everyone looked for her, and my heart broke at the realization that this was what the world had become.

My heart skipped a beat when Rick pulled the trigger, the little girl's body falling lifelessly to the ground. I didn't know those people, but I couldn't stop the wave of sadness that came crashing over me after what just happened. I've seen some shit, but none of it as fucked up as watching a mother break down at the sight of her lost daughter turned walker.

The atmosphere was heavy as I helped with the cleaning, burying Sofia and Hershel family members and burning the walkers. They held a service for their loved one but I didn't attend, not wanting to intrude on this. I could still hear Carol cries as I crawled into my tent, quickly passing out after the emotions of the day.


	4. Whatever you have to do

I got up after a nightmare infested night, putting on my black tank top and blue jeans before leaving my tent. I fastened the straps holding my combat knife around my thigh, hanging my machete to the holster on my belt. Rick had given me my weapon back, wanting everyone to feel safe after yesterday's disaster. I let out a tired sigh as I made my way toward the group, putting my pistol in the waistband of my jeans while I was walking the short distance.

Breakfast was eerily silent that morning as everyone tried to cope with the event of the last day. I understood their grief but I desperately needed to escape, not able to stomach the atmosphere that floated around the camp. I quickly ate my food and got up, making my way toward Lori who was watching Carl, sitting in the grass away from the group.

"Is he okay?" I asked her.

"I don't know" she said, giving me a worried look. "He won't talk to Rick and I since he woke up this morning." She let out a discouraged sigh, her eyes blurry with unshod tears.

"Let me talk to him." I said with a reassuring smile, squeezing her arm before I made my way toward her son. He looked at me from under his sheriff's hat with sad blue eyes when I sat down in the long grass next to him. I looked at the horses that were running in the distance, not say anything. I knew he would talk when he would be ready. 

"I really wanted to be the one to find her you know." He said with his voice cracking. "She would have loved it here." 

What I saw in his eye broke a part of me. Deep down I knew I had a front row seat to this kid loosing his innocence, and it brought back feelings I thought I had buried a long time ago. I knew what it was like to have your childhood ripped away from you and sadly, the world we lived in wasn't a world for kids anymore. The look on Carl's face was a sad testament to that.

"Being shot looking for her wasn't good enough for you big guy?" I joked. I was desperately trying to salvage a little bit of his innocence, not wanting him to lose that brightness that only kids can have. He was too young to witness all that the world had become. He should be at school, not having a care in the world except Pokémon card or whatever kids liked nowadays.

"Dad did the right thing." he said and I simply nodded, squeezing his hand. I listened to him silently as he talked about his feelings, knowing he just needed someone to listen to him that weren't his parents. I guess I was the obvious choice. Hershel's family didn't mix that much with them, and if you didn't count Beth, I was the youngest one around. He didn't say much more after that, having already said what he needed to get off his chest, and we just sat silently next to each other, watching the horses.

When his mom called him, he gave me a hug. He didn't look as sad, and she mouthed a "thank you" before they walked away.

After being a witness to Carl sadness, I needed even more than before to get away from all of this. I still hadn't made my decision on whether I should stay or not and I needed some time to think about it without constantly being watched. I went to get my backpack, making sure I had my hunting slingshot. When I was ready to go I looked for Rick. Finding him deep in thoughts on the front stairs of the house.

"I'm sorry if I'm bothering you" I said when he noticed me standing there. "I just wanted to tell you I'm going for a hunt."

He gave me a surprised look. "You know how to hunt?"

"Don't let looks fool you officer" I huffed, insulted at his obvious lack of faith in my ability to hunt. "I was a runner and a hunter for my last group, I'm actually pretty good at it."

"That's not what I meant, I'm just surprised a girl your age know how to hunt." he said apologetically.

I shrugged, telling him I wouldn't come back too late, but he stopped me before I could leave. "Talk to Daryl before you go. He is usually the one that does the hunting around here. I won't worry as much if you're with him."

I rolled my eyes at his fatherly tone, trying to ignore the weird feeling in my stomach. Was I starting to like those people? He pleaded once again for me to seek out Daryl, adding to be careful with my injuries before leaving to find his wife and son.

I bit my bottom lip before making my way toward where Daryl was, not expecting a warm welcome from the redneck. The guy was a waste of a handsome face. He and I barely interacted since I met Rick's group, but he sure as hell wasn't friendly when we did, in fact I would even go as far as saying he was an asshole. Everything that came out of his mouth was either vulgar or aggressive. I may have problems getting to know people, but the guy had me beat in the socially awkward division. At least I knew how to play nice.

I carefully approached him, loudly clearing my throat as I did to make sure I wouldn't startle him. The last thing I needed was a freaking arrow in my ass, and he would probably not even think twice before shooting me. He looked like the shoot first ask questions later type of guy and I sure as hell didn't want to test that theory.

"What do ya want?" He asked without even lifting his eyes from his bike. I crossed my arm in front of me, internally cursing myself for listening to Rick's stupid idea. 

"I'm going hunting" I said, unfazed by his rude behavior. "Rick said you might want to tag along."

He gave me an unimpressed look.

"What?" I asked.

"Since when girl like ya know anythin' 'bout huntin' ?"

"You know what? Forget I even asked." I said, walking away.

"Nah ya ain't goin' alone." He said catching up to me. "If Rick told ya to ask me that means he ain't want ya on yur own." He said, swinging his crossbow on his shoulder and walking toward the forest that surrounded Hershel's property.

"Come on princess."

I rolled my eyes before following him. I took my slingshot out of my bag, putting a fistful of steel ball in my front pocket. Daryl gave me a side glance, letting a low chuckle out. 

"Yur really gonna hunt with that?" 

I didn't say anything, not wanting to glorify his comment. A sling shot may not be the most practical weapon against walkers, but when it came to hunting small game it was just perfect. It's light weight, easy to carry around and if you run out of ammo small rocks, bolt or nuts will do the trick. The only thing you have to do is make sure you hit the right spot, and I was a natural. My aim was always in point.

We walked for about half an hour, silently making our way through the trees until we reached a clearing. I spotted a rabbit hole and started looking around for sign of the fluffy creature. I moved around a little, shaking bushes and trunk, my slingshot ready in my hand. When I finally spotted the little animal I shot it right between the eyes, throwing my arm in the air in victory.

Daryl had a surprised look on his pretty face as I made my way toward the kill. I took the rabbit by its ears and threw it to him, a triumphant grin on my face. His surprise quickly vanished, his face returning to his usual i don't give a shit expression.

"Lucky bitch." He muttered, catching the rabbit before hanging it on the strap of his bag with the two squirrel he caught earlier.

"Excuse me? Who are you calling a bitch?" I huffed. He didn't answer, leaving me alone in the clearing. 

Two hours, five rabbit and eight squirrels later, we made our way back to the farm. Daryl didn't say much the whole time, but I was blaming it on the fact that he didn't like getting his nice ass handed to him by a girl. The guy was really impressive when it came to tracking, but I was a better shot witch was saying a lot when it came to Daryl. When we finally reached the farm, he immediately went to gut our catch and I went to help Carol with chores, waving at Lori when she passed me by.

"Where's everybody?" I asked Andrea when I saw her sitting alone next to the RV.

She let out an annoyed sigh, putting down her book before telling me that Hershel disappeared after the shock from yesterday and that Glenn and Rick were gone in town to try to find him. Carol was mourning her daughter in the RV and Carl was getting shooting lesson from Shane. I sat there awkwardly, trying to find an excuse to get away from the blonde. For a reason unknown to me, Andrea didn't like me and I wasn't the type to do anything for people to like me. 

*****

In the evening we were getting ready to have a feast when Carl asked where is mom was. When we couldn't find her anywhere, Daryl told us she came to see him asking to go after Rick and Glenn to help find Hershel but that he refused. Shane left to try to find her, and we all settled to eat, heavy hearted. The good mood from earlier was ruined, and we once again ate in silence. After Diner, Carol proposed to take care of Carl while his parents were gone, and we all went to bed worried something else was going to happen. 

When I woke up the next morning, no one was back yet. Everybody seemed anxious as we all tried as best as we could to get our mind off of things. Dale and T-dog were on watch, Andrea was somewhere in the house and Carol was cleaning everything she could get her hands on like an OCD housewife.

I was sitting at a picnic table playing cards with Carl when Shane and Lori got back. Lori had a pissed off look on her face as she stormed past us, not even giving us a side glance. Shane was following closely behind her, with an equally pissed look on his face.

Shane ran after her, and she started screaming at him that he had no right to lie to her and that he shouldn't have told her Rick was back. 

"I only did it to protect the baby." Shane screamed, taking everyone by surprise. Carl stormed off right after and Lori ran after him, giving Shane a murderous look. Shane totally lost it after that, screaming that he was only doing what it takes to protect the group before storming off.

Later that day, people were getting ready to go get Rick, Glenn and Hershel into town when we saw their vehicle approaching in the distance. They parked the car in front of a shed next to the barn, and we all let out a relived sigh when we saw they were all back. The relief we felt quickly vanished when Rick pushed a blindfolded young man out of the backseat.

The man collapsed as soon as his feet touched the ground, one of his legs looking like it was in a awful shape. Rick grabbed the collar of his shirt, ignoring his screams that he was innocent as he dragged him toward the shed. I didn't even think for a second before I took of running in their direction, Shane and Daryl following closely behind me.

"What the fuck are you doing." I screamed at Rick, fear making my voice crack. I couldn't believe what was happening in front of me. 

"He didn't leave us a choice" Rick said pushing the tied up man in the shed and locking the door. I didn't wait to ear more from what he had to say. I just stormed off, my mind racing too much for me to think straight.

I didn't mind violence against walkers, but I couldn't stomach violence against others survivors. There was so little left of us. I knew some people from my last group were bad from the beginning, and I had made a mistake when I chose to stay. I thought Rick was a good man and to learn he was ready to take someone prisoners was just too much to take in.

The week following Randall's arrival at the farm was full of arguments. I kept mostly to myself the first few days, hoping they would choose to do the right thing but mentally preparing to go my own way if they didn't. They finally settled on letting his leg heal and then drop him off somewhere he wouldn't find his way back. A wave of relief washed over me as I watched Shane and Rick leave with him. When they came back, Randall was still with them. Turn out the guy went to school with Maggie, so he knew where the farm was. We were back at square one.

When Lori came to ask me to come and discuss the situation with the group the next day, I couldn't bring myself to say no. I needed proofs I was right to stay, proofs that they would at least they to do the right thing.

I listened to what they had to say from the corner of the living room, my arms firmly crossed on front of my chest. Rick explained more in details how Randall and his group attacked them, reminding us that we didn't know how many of them there were and that they could be dangerous. Shane was saying that they should kill him, Rick still wanted to leave him somewhere far away, so he wouldn't find his way back. I watched silently as they argued, trying my best to keep my mouth shut. Unfortunately, it didn't take long before I snapped.

"Is that what would have happened if you had thought I was a danger when you found me? Handcuffing me in a shed until you figured out what to do with me?" I said, my hand shaking from the anger I felt. " I can't believe I was thinking about staying with you. How can any of you think you can decide whether or not someone live? Isn't the world fucked up enough already? I thought you were the good guys but...I guess I was wrong." 

I left the house ignoring everyone's pleas for me to stay. I was convinced the best thing to do was to leave. I was packing my backpack when Rick, Daryl and Shane came to talk to me.

"Go away. I don't want to talk to you. I'm leaving."

"You can't leave." Shane said, taking a step toward me. His massive frame was towering over my small five foot one frame. The look in his eye the one of a man who lost his mind and I recoiled in fear he would lose it and hit me.

"Or what? You're going to kill me?" I replied, tears streaming down my face.

"Shane you're scaring her." Rick said, putting his hand on Shane shoulder making him snap back to reality. "Maybe you should go see the others, Daryl and I will handle her."

Shane, seemingly not pleased by Rick's request, left kicking and cursing as I just stood there shaking like a leaf. Daryl was biting his thumb, visibly holding something back while Rick's eyes followed Shane. He watched him until he reached the rest of the group, before turning back to me. 

"Handle me?" I huffed, not believing my ears. "Are you going to handcuff me in a shed too?"

"Alice listens to me before you do something you'll regret." He began holding both his hand in front of him. "Randall's group, they're dangerous. This has nothing to do with you."

"I was with dangerous people too Rick. That doesn't mean that I am! Damn it he's barely younger than me, how can you do that to a kid? I...I saw what you did to him, I didn't want to believe it because I thought you were the good guys, I shouldn't have trusted you. God was that stupid, I should have know better, I should have left when I first woke up." I ranted, fisting my hair and pacing in front of the two men.

"Alice, we didn't..." he started but I didn't let him finish.

"Don't fucking lie to me, I saw him leaving the shed this morning, his fist were covered with blood." I said pointing at Daryl. "Don't try to feed me that crap, they sure as hell weren't playing tic-tac-toe."

"They fuckin' rape people" Daryl screamed. "Whatcha want us to do woman? Let him be on his way so he can show his lil' friends were we are?" He looked furious, he was literally growling. "I'm done savin' stupid people. If ya wanna leave, I ain't gonna stop ya." He walked away, not looking back.

My legs gave out from under me, my body shacking uncontrollably. Daryl's words echoed in my mind as I realized the world was even more fucked up than I thought, forcing us to do horrible things just to see another day. Rick kneeled down beside me and I looked into his eyes, searching for an answer I already had.

"Alice, think about it. You can't seriously be thinking about leaving. You belong with us. Lori told me what you did for Carl, you were there when he wouldn't talk to anybody else. You didn't have to do it, but you did it anyway. You care. That's why you're nothing like Randall, that's why you belong with us. Please, Alice...think about it. You really want to take a chance on your own with people like this around?"

A sob racked my body, the realization that he was right crashing on me. I didn't want to be on my own. In the little time I had been here, I started to care for these people. A part of me knew they were doing the right thing, they had to, no we, had to do whatever it takes to keep the group safe. 

I took a deep breath, wiping the tears away from my face with the back of my hand before I looked into Rick's eyes, a determined look on my puffy face.

"Do whatever you have to do."


	5. You're one of us

We lost Dale that day, a lone walker got him. It was late already, but I was talking with Maggie on the porch. That's when we heard Daryl scream for help. We immediately ran to where it was coming from, followed closely by others who heard him as well. We ran as fast as we could, only to find a dead walker and Daryl standing in front of an injured Dale. The walker had ripped open his stomach.

Hershel said there was nothing we could do for him. His body having endured too much. We stood there watching in horror, nobody having it in its guts to end it, not even Rick. Daryl was the only one who had the courage to put a bullet in his head, mercifully ending his suffering when Dale went into shock. I ran after him as he walked away.

"Wait!" I said, out of breath. "Are you ok?" 

"Gotta be." Was the only answer I got as he continued to walk toward his bike. 

"That's it?" I asked, baffled by his lack of reaction to what just happened. 

The only answer I got was a grunted. "I ain't no bitch."

"Daryl it's ok to be sad, you just had to put down one of your friends."

"I don't care."

"You say you don't, but that's bullshit. You wouldn't have spent all that time looking for Carol's daughter if you didn't care."

"Ya ain't got any idea what yur talkin' 'bout." He screamed stopping dead in his tracks.

"Daryl..." I started but he didn't let me finish.

"Y'all think ya know me but ya don't." He screamed his arms in the air, his face now inches away from mine. "Go back to whatever it is ya do and leave me tha fuck alone."

He turned his back to me and left, mumbling as he walked away. I thought Daryl was mad at everything, but I realized right this moment that he wasn't. He was just broken, his temper tantrum were only his way to cope with the feelings he couldn't understand. It didn't take me more than the flash of hurt in his blue eyes while he screamed at me to understand it. I didn't know what happened to him but it had to be something bad for him to forge a shell this thick. The man in front of me wasn't just an asshole like I originally thought he was. It was just him coping with demons we weren't aware of.

I left, knowing there was nothing more I could say right now that wouldn't just get him rilled up. I wasn't the right person to help him, and I doubted he would let any us help him anyway. I went back to camp and collapsed in my tent, sleep claiming me in no time after the emotionally fueled day. 

We held a service for Dale the next morning, burying him next to Sofia and Hershel's family members. This time I went. I was tired to see the good people go. I hadn't known Dale for long, but I knew he was a good man. His wisdom was infinite and his moral compass always pointing in the right direction. I mourned for him, for Carol's daughter and every woman who had to go through the same thing she did, for Hershel's family, for every person I lost since the beginning of this and every child innocence lost in this fucked up world. It was one of the last moment of peace we would be allowed before everything went to shit.

Hershel proposed to let us move inside the house after what happened with Dale, and I was moving stuff inside with Carol and Lori when Daryl and Rick came to tell us they couldn't find Randall anywhere. They were supposed to drop him up in a nearby town, but discovered he was gone when they went to get him. While we were helping them look for him, Shane came out of the wood claiming Randall had attacked him. We immediately searched the farm but there was no sign of him. We had to find him, Shane said he was armed, and we couldn't take any chance leaving him run around.

When we couldn't find him anywhere, Rick came to ask me to help him and Daryl find him.

"Why me? Wouldn't it be better if you took Glenn or T-dog?"

"No, Daryl told me how good your aim is with a slingshot, so I'm going to assume you're an excellent shooter as well. I think we could really use your help if things go south." He said and I couldn't stop the surprised look I gave Daryl. He always looked like I was the most annoying thing he ever saw, and I couldn't believe he actually talked about that to Rick.

"What?" he shrugged. "Yur a good shot ain't ya?"

"Well yeah, I just didn't think you guys trusted me enough for that." I said.

"Alice, we already went over this. You're one of us now." Rick said.

"Now come on if y'all don't want to lose him." Daryl said, his muscled arms flexing as he swung his crossbow on his back.

Rick joined Shane that was waiting for him further away, and Daryl and I went in another direction. I followed behind him silently, wishing I could have gone with Rick instead of Daryl. He looked as thrilled as me to be stuck with me. We slowly made our way toward where Shane said Randall had attacked him, Daryl wanting to see if he could find a trail.

Now I'm not an expert, but when we finally made it to the spot, there were clear signs of a struggle. Thing is, if you believed Daryl's super power, it was not exactly the type Shane described. There was a low snarl behind us, and we both turned in its direction, my face falling when my eyes fell on Randall. He had turned, probably bitten while escaping. The both of us raised our weapons in one single motion. I told him that I would handle it, switching my gun for my machete. I impaled his brain with it, cleaning it on his clothes before letting Daryl inspect his body while I was watching for walkers.

"I ain't see no bites." Daryl stated, a gorgeously serious look on his face. "His neck look like it was snapped." He said, a frown twisting his face.

I bit my lips before saying "Daryl...exactly how much do you think we can trust Shane?"

I started to recall Shane's story, the incoherence of it becoming more and more evident as I did. He got up, pacing a few times, probably making the same assumption I just did before he took off.

"Come on princess, we gotta go." He screamed at me over his shoulder, already way ahead of me.

Daryl and I ran back to the farm as fast as we could to alert the others. We had just started telling them what happened when we spotted the herd approaching. Panic settled in an instant. Lori couldn't find Carl anywhere, searching hysterically. Patricia proposed we hid in the basement, Daryl strongly objecting to the idea. I simply couldn't disagree, there seemed to be close to a thousand walkers coming our way and a group that big could easily tear down the house to get to us.

Andrea and T-Dog suggested we used the car to lead them away while using our gun to get rid of as many as we could in the process. Daryl was still having doubts about getting rid of a heard that size but Hershel keep saying he would rather die than lose his farm. Even if I shared Daryl opinion about leading the herd away, there wasn't nearly enough time convince the fool to follow. We quickly agreed on a plan of action, our time running short before the heard reached us.

Once we all knew what to do, we gathered our gear. I quickly grabbed my backpack and made sure I had everything before getting in a truck bed, Andrea and T-dog in the cab. Daryl was leading the convoy on his bike, his motor roaring on top of the gunfire. Maggie was driving recklessly while Glenn was shooting a shotgun from the passenger window. It was total chaos. I downed every walker I could get a good shot on in the moving truck, and I quickly realized we would never be able to get rid of that many. There was just too much. I was already running low on ammo there was no way we would win.

In the distance I saw the barn Catch fire. Figuring it was probably Rick, I screamed to Beth's boyfriend, Jimmy, to get them with the RV. He couldn't ear me over the war scene that was happening around us to I quickly emptied my magazine ,clearing a path before I jumped down running toward him. I holstered my pistol and took my machete, hacking at the closest walker. His head exploded on impact, splashing me with blood and bits of brain. 

We already had killed so many, but it didn't seem to make any difference. I could see the others had the same realization that we were in over our head. In the house, Patricia, Beth, Carol and Lori were screaming at Hershel to come back in. I had to admit the old man had fight in him. He stood proudly in front of the house, keeping walkers away with his riffle. I gave one last glance at the RV, just in time to see Carl and Rick jump on top of it. The women fled the over ran house, begging Hershel to follow them, but he wouldn't listen. He continued to shoot, unmoving in front of the swarm coming his way, as they ran away from him.

I was almost surrounded when two walkers launched at me simultaneously. Time seemed to slow down, and I was sure this was it. This was how I died, double-teamed by ugly bastard. I swung at the one on my right, bracing for and impact from my left that never came. The walker's head slang backward as an arrow pierced his skull. I looked at the source of it and nodded at Daryl, killing another as I bent down to get his arrow back. He nodded in response, stabbing a walker that was snapping his jaw at him. I used his arrow to stab a walker behind me before putting it in the side pocket of my bag. I was still fighting my way toward them, blood splashing everywhere, when I heard a blood curling scream. 

Patricia had been bitten and was holding for dear life on Beth's arm. Walkers swarmed Patricia seconds after Lori finally managed to free the younger Greene girls. In the commotion I saw Carol getting separated from them. I couldn't reach them no matter how hard I tried. Andrea and T-Dog thankfully managed to get Lori and Beth. They got in the truck while Andrea got out to help Carol. She managed to get the scared woman in the truck as well, but got caught when she tried to get in after her. The truck took of, hitting the dead who got in their way while they sped away. I lost sigh of Hershel, couldn't see Andrea anymore and didn't see the car Maggie and Glenn were in anymore.

Everywhere I looked the only thing I could see was an endless wave of walker. I ran away but tripped on a dead body. A desperate scream escaping my lip as I fell. I got back up as quickly as I could, fending off walker as best as my tired body would allow me when I heard the revving of Daryl's bike over the snarls. I had never been that exited at the prospect of seeing him, and my eye searched frantically for him.

"Come on" he screamed as my eyes finally found him, waving at me not too far away. I knew there was no other choice than retreat and I took off running in his direction. When I reached him I straddled his bike, his body stiffening when I reached around to hold on to him. We drove of, a sob racking my body as the barn collapsed in the distance.

We stopped only when we got far enough from the disaster. I got up from the bike and I immediately felt sick, my stomach heaving uncontrollably. 

"Ya good?" Daryl asked, lighting a cigarette .

No I wasn't. No matter how many people I lost, I could never get use to the feeling of not knowing. I had gotten attached to them, even if I tried not to. It killed me not knowing.

Not knowing who was okay, 

Not knowing who was dead,

Not knowing if we were safe,

Not knowing what we would become.

I let out a sigh before saying "Yeah. No bites, just really sore muscles. And you...Are you okay?" I asked, taking a swig of water before handing it out to him.

"I ain't no bitch." He answered, taking the bottle from my hand.

"We have to try to find the others." He didn't answer, he just watched the woods around us.

The one that are left.

"Daryl...thank you for what you did back there." I said, taking a long breath, trying to slow down my heartbeat.

"I wasn't gonna let ya die out there. Ya tried"

I gave him a sad smile before remembering the Arrow in my bag. I fished it out, waving it in front of him. "Here, I got your arrow back."

"Bolt" he said, loading it back in his crossbow.

"What?" I asked, not understanding what he meant.

"It ain't an arrow, it's a bolt."

I rolled my eyes before collapsing next to him on the ground, asking him what we were going to do. He said the first place we should try was the highway were they lost Sofia, saying it was probably the first place the group would go. As we planned our next move, walkers where starting to emerge around us. We were both way too tired to take them, so we just got back on the road.

When we got to the Highway at dawn, we found Hershel, Rick and Carl. I was so relieved to see they had survived, but at the same time I was anxious to know who we lost. Carl ran to me when he saw me get off of Daryl's bike. I fell to my knees and I returned his hug, giving Rick a relieved look.

"Have you seen mom?" Carl asked hopefully.

I tightened my hug before getting back to look at him, tilting back his sheriff's hat. "I saw her get in a truck, but I lost sight of her after that...I'm sorry buddy I don't know where she is."

Carl broke the hug, turning around toward his dad. He said we needed to go back to get Lori and my heart churned at the look Rick had on his face when Hershel told him to get Carl to safety, that he would wait for the others. Rick didn't want to ear it, stating we should all stay and wait for them together. We finally agreed we would wait a little to see if anybody made it, but that we would leave if it took too long. It broke my heart for Carl but it was the only logical solution. The farm was gone. There was nothing to go back to but death.

We waited for what seamed like ages before finally deciding it had been long enough. Carl was mad at his dad for not going back for his mom and Hershel was bracing himself to leave without his daughters. We were ready to leave when we heard the rumbles of vehicles approaching in the distance. My heart skipped a beat when I finally saw them.

We lost a lot of people. Shane, Jimmy and Patricia were dead, and we had no idea where Andrea was, no one being able to say for sure that she was dead. The reunion bittersweet and short, the need to put as much distance as possible between us and the horde impossible to push aside. I don't know why I did, but as everyone got back to the cars I immediately turned to Daryl, silently asking him if I could ride with him.

He hesitated at first, looking torn. He ended up waving me over, and I adjusted my hoodie and leather jacket, knowing it would be a long road. His body stiffened again when I looped my arm around him, but slowly relaxed as we made our way behind the SUV Rick was driving. I felt safe with Daryl after tonight and I had a feeling we came to a silent understanding after the loss we had both suffered.

After a while, Rick SUV sputtered, having ran out of gas. We all stoped, and he said we would camp out for the night and scavenge gas the next morning. People were exhausted and the tension was high. Not everyone agreed with him. They wanted to move, but Rick wouldn't allow anybody to leave. Glenn mentioned the fact that we were already stranded and that moving was the best idea but Rick was adamant he would find a place for us but that we had to stay together. Daryl and I finally told everyone how we found Randall. 

That's when Rick dropped a bomb. Apparently, when the group visited the CDC, Dr. Jenner told Rick we were all infected. We were ticking bombs, just waiting to expire, so we could reanimate and attack the living. Everyone, me included, lost it. We were mad at him for keeping this kind of information from us.

The conversation lasted long into the night, the campfire cracking in the background. Carol proposed that Daryl should lead us, but he insisted that Rick had honor. I agreed with him, and he gave me a thankful smirk. Maggie tried to get Glenn to leave, but Hershel quickly shut her off. The argument went on and on before Rick snapped. He screamed at us that he had to kill his best friend for us, recalling what happened and Carl role in it. Lori was horrified. 

I didn't move when he dared us to leave. Rick had never given me any reason to doubt his capacity as a leader, the fact that he had to kill Shane was not changing that. I knew the first day Shane was unstable, he had been the reason Rick almost had Randall executed. I knew deep down what Rick did was really for the best. Everyone was watching him in stunned silence, and he finally issued a last warning:

"If you're staying, this isn't a democracy anymore." He then turned his back to us and walked away.


	6. A hard winter

Since the night at the farm, Daryl and I had developed a fucked up type of bond. We still annoyed the crap out of each other most of the time, but we were an amazing team. Rick caught up to it pretty fast, often pairing us for hunting or runs into town. I thought he was mean, and he thought I was a pain in his ass, but Daryl Dixon didn't like talking about himself much. Since I didn't like it either, I think he liked the fact I wouldn't try to fill the silence every chance I got like Carol or T-Dog. I don't think he trusted me completely, but I don't think he really trusted anyone at all, except maybe Rick.

Every time we went scavenging, we kept an eye out for warmer clothes, food, medicine and what Hershel needed for Lori to give birth. She had just started her second trimester, but this stuff was hard to get, and we needed all the time we had to find every single item. Hershel had even started to train Carol as his assistant. We needed to be ready. With winter coming, and Lori's swelling belly a constant reminder our time was running out, we were getting desperate for something a little more permanent.

Food was hard to find and I could see Lori was getting weaker. It bugged me not to be able to do anything more about it. I could also see the effect it had on Carl, my heart hurt when he said he was hungry or when Beth cried in the middle of the night when she thought nobody heard. I felt powerless, like so many other times in my life. Every single one of them had proven they had my back, but I failed them. I didn't felt deserving of the trust they were putting in me.

We were on a run, like countless others since we've been on the road. Glenn and T-Dog were checking out a school nearby, and Daryl and I were clearing what was left of a pharmacy. All the shelves had been ransacked, everything was on the floor and most of the good stuff had already been taken. On top of the infinite list of things we always needed, I had been secretly looking for prenatal vitamins for a while. Whatever food we managed to bring back was never enough, especially for a pregnant woman. She needed more than what we brought back and I knew the vitamins would be a great help.

"Nothin' left here anymore." Daryl said from the back of the store.

"Wait...haha!" I exclaimed as I spotted a bottle of Materna amongst the junk on the floor.

"Come on, horde's comin', we gotta move." He simply said, moving toward the front door. I pocketed the vitamins and we exited the store.

I hoped the other two had more luck than us as we made our way back to the house we had been staying at for a couple of days. We turned a corner, only to realize we were cut off by a sizable group of walkers in a back alley. We tried to double back, but another group was now behind us. Their moans were everywhere, and we knew there was too many of them to take on in such a closed space. We started running and in our haste, I dropped the bottle of vitamins.

I stopped when I realized what had happened, scanning the ground behind me for the white and pink bottle. I had been looking for them for too long, there was no way I was leaving them there. I finally spotted the pill bottle next to a dumpster. I made my way toward them, shooting a walker between the eyes before hacking another one with my machete. I had to go fast, walker were dangerously closing in on us. We were running out of time.

It took some time for Daryl to realize I wasn't behind him anymore. I heard him curse as I reached for the pills, not seeing the walker who was reaching for me from under a pile of garbage. I turned my back to the dumpster and a yelp escaped my lips when the damn walker grabbed my ankle, making me fall face first to the ground. I crawled away from the dumpster, Daryl piercing his skull with a bolt while making his way back toward me.

He grabbed me and pulled me back to my feet, a mad scold on his face. Still holding on my arm, he roughly dragged me toward a back door. He kicked in the door and pushed me inside, barricading the door behind us just in time before the walkers reached for it. I leaned back on the wall, still clutching the bottle of pills in my hand, my breath hollow as I took in big gulp or air. Daryl was pacing around, visibly mad at me.

"The fuck is wrong with ya stupid girl." He lashed at me, trowing his prized crossbow on the ground. "Whatcha did that for huh? Almost gettin' killed for a stupid bottle of pills." he screamed, the veins in his neck bulging.

"Don't do that." I said taking a step toward him, the strong facade I had been keeping up for a long time cracking under his gaze.

"What?" He asked loudly, throwing his arms in the air.

"Handle me like I'm a bag." I growled, my eyes finding his. A mad look was present in his eyes as he forcefully took the bottle from my hands, throwing it on the wall. It clattered as it rolled on the floor.

"Next time ya do somethin' stupid I ain't gonna save yur ass." He yelled, his face inches from mine, cornering me. I couldn't stop myself from flinching when he raised his hand. He froze, his strong jaw clenching.

"Ya really think I would hit ya?" His face fell in disbelief as he took a few step back, the vein on his neck still pulsating.

Tears fell from my eyes as I let myself slide to the floor. Daryl was watching me, biting his thumb but not saying anything, a panicked look on his face. He clearly didn't know how to handle me at the moment. I didn't blame him, I didn't know how to either. "I'm sorry" I said chocking on my tears. I curled up on myself, wrapping my arms around my knees, as I tried to hold my shaking self together. I didn't want him to see me like that, to see how broken I was. After what happened at the farm I had managed to keep a strong face, I was used to wearing that mask. In reality, it was just an illusion I kept up, so they wouldn't realize how defeated I felt facing the situation we were in. 

Daryl grabbed his beloved crossbow and the bottle of pills before he walked away, clearly wanting to get as far away as he could from the crying mess I was. I wiped the tears from my face while he went to check if the place was safe. We would have to hold up here for the night, waiting for the horde to pass. I heard him whistle when he left the backroom we were in and it took all I had to get myself up from the floor to see what he found.

In our misfortune we actually got lucky, we stumbled on a mostly untouched bar. The metal gates were down, probably the only reason the place was still in this condition. Daryl checked the doors, locking the one that led to the backroom and shaking the shutters to make sure everything was secure as I dropped my weapons and walked to the old bar. I rummaged a little through the bottles behind it and found a bottle of Appleton rum. I took the bottle and made my way around the bar, collapsing to the floor with my back pressed to the hard wood of the bar.

Daryl put his crossbow on a table and put a couple of bottles in his bag before sitting silently next to me, a bottle of Jack Daniel's whiskey in his right hand. I unscrewed the rum bottle and took a swig, the warm burn of alcohol comforting as it went down my throat. I closed my eyes and let out a low sigh when Daryl bumped my knee with his, giving him a sad smile.

"I'm sorry I just...I'm not scared of you. I promise it's not your fault. I guess I'm just more fucked up than I thought. I thought it was all behind me, you know with the world ending and everything, but I guess it's not." I sniffled, leaned back against the bar and looked into his blue eyes. He had a sad frown on his face, and he didn't say anything, understanding better than anybody not to pry. 

"I'm sorry" I said once again, the strong girl mask finally crumbling.

"All good princess." He said, lighting a cigarette, using the nickname he always used when talking to me.

"You keep calling me that, but I can assure you I'm the farthest away you could find from a princess." He bit his lips, taking a gulp of whiskey before looking at the floor.

"Before all of this." I motioned to the air around us and said. "I was just a stripper, I'm not strong, it's just a fucking lie. I'm a fraud." I said, looking at the floor in shame.

"Stop." He said looking uncomfortable, taking a long stroke of his cigarette.

"Didn't you heard what I said? I was a freaking stripper Daryl. I was nobody, just something pretty that men liked to look at."

"Ya ain't right, that ain't bein' nobody. That's survivin'...Ya wanna know what I did b'fore all this?" He asked, taking another stoke. "I was just driftin' 'round with Merle... doin' whatever he said we were gonna be doin' that day. I was nobody. Nothin'. Some redneck asshole and an even bigger asshole for a brother." He exhaled the smoke slowly.

"Daryl..." I said, looking up at him.

"Who give a damn whatcha were b'fore. Yur doin' what ya can now ain't ya?." I think he was saying it for himself too. His eyes were full of understanding, and we just sat there in silence, drinking. He didn't need to hear more to know how I was feeling. I was feeling exposed. I had never told anyone what I did before the apocalypse. He finally got up to get ready for the night, and I watched him get settle, his back turned to me. I got on my back, using my pack as a pillow, and closed my heavy eyes.

"Yur gonna be a'right Alice." He said, using my name for the first time, before he mumbled something I couldn't make out as I fell asleep.

Daryl never said anything about that night to anyone. Not to me, not to anyone. I was so thankful for it. I had been scared his opinion or his attitude toward me would change but it didn't. We still were a fucked up duo, but he wasn't mean anymore. He still thought I was a little pain in his ass, but that was alright with me.

*****

The winter was harsh, we kept jumping from house to house, going in circles. We kept being cut off by the horde, the cold weather causing them to huddle together and their number quickly rose. To say we were struggling at this point would be an understatement. We found a storage locker at one point, we thought we could stay there, but it was soon over ran as well.

Every one of us was affected by what was happening. Rick and Lori's relationship had been taking a toll, we learned later it was because Shane might have been the baby's father. Maggie and Glenn had become even more inseparable than at the farm, pushed together by the need to be comforted. Carol and Beth were becoming pretty good shot, pushed to their limit by their need to survive. Carl had become like a little brother to me. The situation we were in was pushing us all together. We were the only thing we had. We were slowly becoming family, a broken one, but still a family.

As spring rolled around, we were hungry, tired and more desperate than ever. Lori didn't have much time left before she popped. We needed more than ever to find a secure place. Nobody dared say it out loud, but we all knew a crying baby would be like a beacon for walkers. It was a death sentence in our current situation. It pained me she had to go through her whole pregnancy like this.

We were once again on the road, after being pushed out of the house we had just cleared for the night. Carl and Beth were on watch, and we were huddled around a map, trying to figure out the best way to go. We had been literally going in circle, I was starting to lose hope we would find anywhere to go. We decided to sleep on it and settled on making camp for the night. Rick and Daryl left on a hunt while T-Dog and Carol left to get water. Beth and Carl were still on watch. 

I was trying to figure out a route on the map, closely inspecting were Maggie and Glenn had carefully marked the hordes directions, as well as the rough head count. They were everywhere. I let out a frustrated sigh putting the map down next to me and pinching the bridge of my nose. I hated not having any control on the situation, hated seeing the people I cared about suffering. 

Maggie sat down next to me, handing me a bottle of water. "Haven't seen you drink a lot lately, would be a shame to make it that far just to die of dehydration" she said with a smirk.

We had developed a close friendship in the last months. We were close to the same age, and she was a light in the darkness that surrounded me, always trying to find the good in the world around us.

"Yea...I've been sneaking whatever I can to Lori" I said with a guilty look on my face, looking over her shoulder at Carl and Beth laughing further away. "She need it more than I do with the baby and everything."

Maggie gave me a knowing look as Glenn came to sit with us. "We'll figure something." He said putting his arm around Maggie's shoulder and kissing her forehead. "We always do."

"I know." I said trying to push away the doubt lurking inside my head. "It's just, Rick's just one man you know. Even he has his limits."

As if us talking about him had summoned him, Rick emerged from the trees with Daryl closely following behind him. They both had a look of urgency on their faces. We all quickly got up, running around and packing what was out of the cars, thinking we once again were about to get swarmed if we didn't move. Rick stopped us and asked us to get everyone back to the cars. Once everybody was back, he looked at us with a victorious smile on his face.

"I think everyone will want to see what we found."


	7. Safe heaven

We all stood baffled in front of the West Georgia Correctional center. Rick and Daryl may have found the solution to our problems. It would certainly not be easy, but in our desperate situation we were ready to do pretty much anything.

The field was over run but if we took our time and were careful we could take it. The double layer of fence surrounding the big field was already empty. Both gates were unlocked but in a good condition, it would give us an extra layer of safety if we managed to reach the inside yard, allowing us to get in and out without walkers pouring in. The watchtowers would provide us with a view on the area and the strong prison walls would be a protection against any horde that would come our way. This place could really be a home for our weird family, the idea of it sparking a spec of hope in my heart. 

"It's perfect" Rick stated. "If we can secure this gate, prevent more walker to get in the field," he pointed to the gate of the over ran inside yard. "We can take the field before the night."

"How do you suggest we do that?" Hershel asked.

"I'll go, you cover me." I said, determined to make this work for us. "I'm even faster than Glenn."

"No" Rick and Daryl said at the same time before Rick added "We need to do this right."

He looked at us, a serious look on his face as he started giving each of us instruction on how we would proceed. Daryl, Carol and I would be in one of the guard tower while Carl and Hershel would be in the other one. We would cover Rick while he would run for the gate of the inside yard that surrounded the prison to secure it. While he did that, Beth, Maggie, Glenn and T-Dog would distract the walkers, getting rid of them through the wired fence while Lori manned the gate leading to the field.

We cut through the first layer of fence and got to work closing the gap. Once we were securely between both fences I ran to the watchtower and opened the door, Daryl and Carol following close behind as I climbed the metal stairs two at a time. We assumed our position, waiting for the others to be ready as well. Once everyone was, Lori opened the door and Rick took of running. The months of surviving together had really made us a force to be reckoned with. As Rick shot his way toward the gate, we downed every walker that tried to reach for him. When he finally managed to close it he got in another tower, closing the door behind him. We made an easy job of clearing the walkers that were left after that, and soon there were none left standing.

When the last one fell, we all ran into the now empty field. A wave of euphoria engulfed me as T-Dog picked me up, swirling me around before ruffling my hair like the big brother I never wanted. Daryl shot me a smirk and I winked, a smile on my face. We were safer than we had been in months.

"We didn't have that much space since the farm" Carol said running next to a smiling Lori.

That night we all sat around the fire, listening to Beth and Maggie signing, celebrating our first victory since the farm. As Rick had mentioned, we would have to take the yard as well, but that would wait for tomorrow. None of us wanted to think about it at that moment. I was happier than I had been in a long time, the idea of us finally being safe for once lifting a weight from my shoulder. When Daryl sat next to me, I leaned on his shoulder, letting out a content sigh. He didn't stiffen like he usually would when someone touched him. Carol noticed and gave me a playful smile. I muffled a yawn, looking at the happy faces around the fire before I fell asleep, still leaning on Daryl shoulder.

The next day we set on clearing the yard to reach one of the cell block. Rick, Daryl, Maggie, Glenn, T-Dog and I were walking back to back slowly clearing the way while the rest were distracting the walkers through the gate. It was going pretty well until we saw geeks in full S.W.A.T. gear. The helmets they wore were preventing us to get a good headshot. We were getting tired, and I was trying to figure out a way around their stupid protection.

Suddenly an idea crossed my mind. I motioned to T-Dog to cover me before putting my gun in my waist band and my machete in its sheath. I grabbed my knife tightly in my hand under Daryl warning gaze. I could see he knew exactly what I was going to do, he always did. I slowly advanced on one of the fortified walker, grabbing the base of the helmet's visor and tilted his head backward. I plunged my knife up to the guard under the walker's chin. It fell down, splashing me with gore on its way down, and I let out a joyful scream. The other quickly caught on what I did and started doing the same thing.

When we finally entered the cell block, we found it already secured. Rick had found keys on a guard and the only thing that was left to do was clear the turned prisoners that were still locked in their cell. We did and called the others in when we were done. Everyone came in, a thankful look on their faces.

We started picking cells to call our own. Maggie and Glenn obviously settled together as Hershel and Beth picked the one next to theirs. Carol and Lori picked the one next to Rick and Carl. T-Dog and I both decided to go solo. Daryl claimed the perch, stating he wouldn't sleep in a cage. I didn't mind the cage, seeing it not as a way to keep things in, but more as a way to keep things out.

Everybody was getting settled, trying to clear as much trash from the floor as we could to make it a little more homey. While everyone was exploring, I decided to go check on Lori. I found her in her cell, sitting on the cot and rubbing her belly.

"Are you alright?" I asked sitting down next to her.

"Yeah" she said looking up from her belly. He eyes were red, she'd been crying. I gave her a sad smile.

"You're sure about that? Do you need me to get Hershel or something?" I asked putting a hand on her back.

"No it's nothing, the baby's fine." I could see the doubt in her eyes as she talked about it. 

"Lori...you know you can talk to me right?" I loved Lori with all my heart. I knew she had felt like a burden all winter, and she had been to a certain extent, but the baby she carried was also hope for every one of us. It was a proof that life would go on no matter what and it pained me to see she was hurting, even if we were finally safe.

"What if it's still born?" Her question startled me and I could feel tear well up in my eyes. "What if it's already dead inside me." She put her face in her hands, her shoulders moving with her silent sobs. I took her in my arms shushing her as she continued. "I should have died at the farm. Rick and Carl...they hate me, it would be so much easier for them if I wasn't there."

"Lori...don't say that. It's not true, Carl loves you so much and Rick...well I know it's hard right now but I'm sure he'll come around... even if he doesn't I know this baby will love you." 

When she finally looked at me, there was a desperate light in her eyes. "You have to promise me that if me or the baby don't make it, you won't let them hesitate." I was speechless. "You have to....please if something happen to any of you because of me...if they don't do anything you make sure to end it." she said, tears falling freely from her brown eyes.

"Okay, I promise." I said almost whispering. I couldn't refuse her wish. Even if I didn't want to think about her or the baby not surviving, I couldn't say it wasn't a possibility. Without a hospital setting and considering the fact she had a C-section for Carl, complications were a highly possible outcome. I could feel a lump in my throat as I thought about it, softly stroking her back while she took deep breaths trying to calm herself.

*****

The next day, Rick and Daryl went to investigate further in the block. They returned from their exploration with a ton of weapons. They explained that while searching the guards post, they found an arsenal. Now that the lack of ammunition wasn't a problem anymore, they wanted to go and clear the prison further, making sure everything was safe and there wasn't any breach in the wall before we could go and look for the infirmary and the cafeteria. I volunteered to keep watch in the cell block while they took Glenn, Maggie, Hershel and T-Dog with them.

I was in the yard burning bodies, having entrusted the inside to Carl, when I heard Beth screams. I rushed inside, my heart beating in my ears, the fear of what I would find inside clutching at my heart. When I entered the cell block, I saw them carrying an injured Hershel. They set him on the bed, Rick explaining with a shocked look in his face that he was bitten. My stomach churned when I saw his crudely amputated leg. I turned my back to the scene, bent with my hand on my knees trying to breath, so I wouldn't throw up.

A clattering sound out of the cell block got me out of my trance as Daryl pointed his crossbow toward the noise and left. T-Dog soon following behind him.

"We found prisoners, survivors." Was Rick's only explanation before he left, asking Glenn to stay behind with Hershel and the others.

I gave one glance at Lori who nodded, understanding what I wanted, before following Rick. I found them with their weapon pointed at five man, all of them wearing prisoners uniforms. The men we're arguing, trying to reason with them as they tried to come in the cell block. They explained they had been stuck in a broom closet for ten months and Rick explained that there was nothing left out there, that they were free to go. When they finally walked out we followed them, worried glance being exchanged between us as we made our way behind them. When we came out they were looking around, clear disbelief of us clearing all those walkers on their faces.

I eyed them carefully, they didn't look like they realized how bad it was now. They had a crazy look in their eyes, like they thought we were lying. The Hispanic guy named Tomas that seemed to be their leader started talking about moving in. Rick strongly opposed, unmoving in front of their attempts to scare him down. One of them, a small white dude with a crazy looking mustache, proposed them moving in another bloc. The small angsty black guy asked how he propose they do that and Rick proposed a deal.

T-Dog and I were behind, watching closely, ready to spring in action if needed. My grip on my gun was steady as I attentively watched the prisoners movement. Daryl was standing next to Rick, pointing his crossbow at the group, as he explained his deal. We help them clear a cell block and in exchange, they give us half their food. It would have been a fair deal if it wasn't that I didn't trust them at all. They had to be here for something, and I sure as hell didn't want to figure out why because something happened. The big black guy that hadn't said a word yet tapped their leader's shoulder, and they whispered between them before he turned back to Rick, a mischievous gleam in his eyes.

"Only if she's coming too." Tomas said licking his lips while pointing at me.

Before I could say anything, Daryl was taking a protective stance in front of me, the bolt loaded in his crossbow pointed directly between the man's eyes.

"No fuckin' way." He said, his eyes defying him to try anything. I was taken aback by Daryl protective stance over me.

"I won't hurt her." He smirked and Daryl let a warning growl out, taking one more step toward him.

"The deal's the deal. You don't get to ask for anything else, we decide who goes." Rick said firmly. "Half your food, and we help you clear the cell block or you go and try your luck out there, there's no other option." 

The prisoners walked to the side, talking between them and Rick took me aside, Daryl following behind him. T-Dog stayed behind, watching the men as Rick put his hand on my shoulder.

"Alice I don't want you close to them." Rick said. "For all we know they could be dangerous." He stated as Daryl looked at me, worry written all over his face for a second before his expression returned to his usual neutral scowl.

"Don't worry I don't want to be close to them either." I said and I could see Daryl shoulders relaxing slightly. "But Rick you guys have to be careful if you go with them, I don't think it would be safe to turn your back to any of them, specially not that one." I said nodding at the gang's leader and Rick nodded knowingly.

The prisoners came back agreeing to the deal, and we made our way to the cafeteria to get the food back to our cell block. When we got there I told the others of the deal that had been made while they prepared for clearing block D. I knew Rick did this, so they wouldn't cause too many problems, but I couldn't push back the feeling that something would go wrong. I didn't think we should let them stay that close to us, not after all we did to get here, it was too much of a risk. 

As Rick, T-Dog and Daryl geared up, I made my way toward Daryl. A blush creeped up my face when his eyes met mine. He didn't say anything and waited for me to talk.

"I...just be careful in there ok? I have a bad feeling about those guys, I don't like the idea of any of us fighting walkers next to them, they have no idea what they are doing." I said, my arm wrapped around myself as if it would hold the fear in.

"Don't worry Ali, Imma see ya again" He said, bitting his lips before walking away.

I went back to others, wanting to check on Hershel while they were gone. When I entered the room Carl came back with medical supply, giving them to Carol who was doing her best to stop the bleeding. His mother freaked out when she came to the realization he had gone on his own to get them. I could understand Lori's reaction but I could also get Carl's need to do something. When he left the cell, telling his mom to get off his back I couldn't stop myself from running after him.

"Carl." I said catching his arm. "You can't talk to your mother like that."

"Leave me alone." He said, shaking his arm out of my grasp and turning his back to me.

"I get you want to help, I'm not saying you shouldn't have done what you did. You probably helped save Hershel's life. What I'm saying is you can't talk to your mother like that." I said turning him around, so he would look at me.

"She keeps treating me like I'm a baby, I'm not." He said looking defiantly at me. I let out a sigh and took his hand in mine.

"Listen to me buddy, your mom, she cares about you a lot. It's normal for her to worry about you, it's her job." He looked at the floor, a guilty look on his face. "Next time you want to go and explore why don't you come and see me first huh? I'll come with you" I winked, and he nodded, walking away with a smile on his face.

While he walked away, I heard Beth and Maggie freaking out in Hershel cell. I ran back to them, shocked by what I found. Hershel had stopped breathing and Lori was performing C.P.R. on him. My heart stopped when he grabbed Lori, sure he had turned on us. Glenn and I settled into motion, prying her of his grasp before he could bite her. Once Lori was safe I grabbed my knife, raising it. Beth grabbed my arm, stopping me and pointing at her dad. Relief washed over us when we realized he was still alive. Lori had saved him.


	8. Remember your promise

The clearing of cell block D hadn't gone exactly like planned. Rick had to kill Tomas when he murdered one of his prison mates in one of the most violent way I ever heard of, even after the dead awoke. One of them, Andrew, had escaped, Rick locking him out, so he wouldn't sneak back in. We didn't really hear anything about the two that were left after that.

A week had passed and Rick was in the field with Carol and T-Dog, getting the body burned and the cars ready for a quick escape. Maggie and Glenn were once again in the watchtower doing you know what. I was with Daryl, watching him work on his bike while I was getting the crutches we found for Hershel ready. The old man was a pain in the ass when he couldn't move around like he wanted.

Daryl and I had been getting closer in the short time we were at the prison. I would almost dare to say we were friends. It wasn't the same as the friendship he and Carol had, but we finally managed to trust each other. He was pretty protective of me, like a big brother would be and I couldn't complain about it. He never overstepped, respecting my boundaries and I did the same with his. Even with knowing what I used to be, he never treated me like I was any different or capable than the others and that was more than any man I ever knew. I could only respect a man like that. He had a golden heart somewhere under that rough appearance, even if he hid it most of the time under swear words and insults.

We were each working in comfortable silence when he told me to get back inside. I didn't protest when I saw why. The two prisoners that were in block D were talking with Rick and the others in the field. Their discussion looked animated, and I understood Daryl's need to back up Rick. I told him to be careful, and he told me he would see me again, like we always did when we split. I got back inside, watching him walk away before I closed the door.

I made my way to Hershel's cell, proudly showing him the crutches. He sat up with difficulty, but he wanted to try them right away. Lori told him to take his time, Beth added not to push himself to hard. The old man, faithful to his habit, didn't listen. He took a few steps before stating he wanted to go for a stroll. Carl and Beth were grinning while Lori and I exchanged an amused look. There was really no stopping the fool, even getting his leg cut off.

We were outside, celebrating the little victory as we watched Hershel get accustomed to his crutches. It was a relief really, him walking again, it brough us all hope that things would get better. I laughed when Carl asked Hershel if he was ready to race, the man telling him he would take him on the next day.

I was standing there with a grin on my face, watching Beth's smile get wider at every step her dad made. Lori and Rick, who was watching from the distance, exchanged a warm glance. For a moment I really felt that everything would get better, that we could live peacefully here. My face fell when I heard it.

"Walkers." It was Carl.

I quickly turned, seeing right away the walkers making their way toward us. There was a lot of them. I could see Maggie in the distance screaming as Glenn ran to close the main gates. Rick and Daryl were running our way but were too far to reach us in time. Carl and I quickly took a stance between Lori and the walkers while Beth assisted Hershel to get him to safety in a gated entrance. I looked around, trying to figure a way to get Carl and Lori out of the yard. There was no way I could old off that much by myself long enough for the other to reach us, not with a pregnant woman to watch.

From the corner of my eyes I could see them trying to make it to us. The gates had kept us safe up to this point, but they were significantly slowing them down. An alarm was ringing and it only attracted more walkers to us. I knew I couldn't count on them to reach us fast enough, I had to do something. I pushed Lori behind me, motioning for Carl to follow us. We got inside the cell block only to find ourselves facing more walkers. I could hear scratches on the outside door and I knew going back out wasn't an option. I shot the walkers that were too close for my liking before grabbing Lori's arm.

"This way." I said as I made my way through the cell block dinning area to the tombs, Carl closing the door behind us.

The tombs were not completely safe yet, but it was our only options. There had to be at least one room down there we could secure. I only had my knife and my gun but it would have to do. My heart raced, the alarm resonating in my ears as I navigated the corridors, keeping Lori and Carl close to me while I shot at the walkers getting too close to us. I couldn't let anything happen to the two of them.

As we made a left turn, Lori let out a pained grunt.

"Are you ok? Can you keep up?" I said turning toward her.

"Something's not right."

"Where you bit?" Carl asked as I frantically checked her for bites or scratches.

"No, no, no, no.... The baby...I think it's coming." She said before another pained grunt escaped her lips.

Fuck, fuck, FUCK

My mind raced as all the things that could go wrong started popping in my head. Walkers were starting to turn the corner, we had to move. I threw my gun to Carl as I passed Lori's arm around my shoulder, helping her walk. Carl was taking aim at the walkers coming our way.

"There's no time, let's go!" I screamed at him before I pointed to a door I could see opened further to my left. I was following as fast as I could behind the boy with Lori leaning on me when he disappeared in the door, gun raised. I went in behind him, kicking the door close after me. Lori leaned against the wall, pain evident in her face while Carl tried to calm her. I jammed a chair under the door handle, securing it. I paced around, trying to ignore all the noise and running my fingers through my hair to calm myself down.

"Lori let's lay you down ok?" I said taking a step toward her under Carl worried expression.

"No, the baby, it's coming, Now." She said and my heart stopped when it dawned on me I would have to help Lori deliver her baby right here.

"We need to get back to the cell, Hershel can help." Carl said taking a step toward the door.

"No. We can't risk going out with your mom like this." I told Carl before turning my attention back on Lori. "Come here, let's get your pant off." I told her, helping her lower herself to the ground between contractions.

"Do you know what to do?" Carl asked looking me before looking at his mom panting on the floor.

"I have absolutely no fucking idea what I'm doing." This statement earned me one of Lori's disapproving look, she didn't like us swearing around Carl. Even while giving birth this woman was a force to be reconned with when it came to her boy. "We're going to figure it out you and me okay? Are you ready to help me deliver you baby brother or sister buddy?" 

"Is she okay? Why can't she breathe?" He asked, panic clear on his face as he watched Lori struggle to take air in between the contractions.

I assured him she was okay, that it was normal in this situation. Reality is, I was trying to convince myself at the same time. I had absolutely no idea what I was supposed to do.

"I have to push." Lori said her face gleaming with sweat.

"Okay, go ahead, your body knows what to do." I said, repeating the words I once heard in a movie. She started pushing and I kneeled there, encouraging her the best I could as Carl watched, horrified. She looked in pain and I stopped her abruptly when I saw how much blood there was. "Lori I think something's wrong."

"Mom, mom look at me, keep your eye open." I heard Carl say before he turned to me. "We have to get back to the cells" he said, taking his mother's hand.

"No, I won't make it back. Alice I think you're gonna have to perform a C-section." Lori said, pain written all over her pale face.

"I don't know how Lori." I said, tears pooling in my eyes. I couldn't believe what was happening. "Carol, she's the one Hershel trained I have absolutely no idea what I'm supposed to do."

"I know you can do it. I am not loosing this baby you hear me?" She said taking my hand and looking me straight in the eyes.

"No, mom I'm going to get help ok?" Carl said but Lori told him not to, that I had to do it now if the baby was to survive.

"But Lori, we don't have anything, no equipment, no sterilization products, there is no way I can perform a C-section, I don't even know a thing about babies how am I suppose to help you give birth to one?" I said, desperately looking around. Carl was crying as he assisted to the exchange.

"You have a knife, don't you? I know you know how to use it, just follow the scars. Please, Alice you have to save the baby." She asked, her voice shacking.

"Lori, there's no way you will survive if I do this." I said, the weight of what she was asking me making my voice crack.

"Alice you have to remember your promise...save this baby, please for all of us...you have to do it." She was having trouble breathing and I knew I didn't have much time left. I took my knife out, my hand shaking as I listened to Lori tell Carl not to be scared, that this was the thing to do.

"You're gonna be fine. You are going to beat this world, I know you will." She told him between pained grunt, holding his face, so he would look at her. "You are smart, and you are strong, and you are so brave, and I love you. You gotta do what's right, baby. You promise me you will always do what's right. It's so easy to do the wrong thing in this world. So... so if it feels wrong don't do it, alright? If it feels easy don't do it, don't let the world spoil you. You're so good. My sweet boy. Best thing I ever did... I love you! I love you. My sweet, sweet boy, I love you!" She said, before looking at me, a look of total resolve in her eyes.

"I'm sorry." I chocked.

Carl was crying, holding on to his mom has I started to slice her open, following the scars like she said. She was screaming at me not to forget my promise, not to let Rick see her like this. I could see the baby in her uterus and I reached in, blood covering me as I tried to get a grip on the slippery body. She was screaming in agony and Carl was screaming at me. When I finally managed to get the baby out, Lori wasn't breathing anymore.

I was kneeling there, tears rolling down my face as I tried to understand why the baby wasn't crying. It wasn't right. I didn't know a lot about babies but weren't they suppose to cry when they were born? Realizing time was running out, I quickly checked her trying to figure out what was wrong when she finally let out a healthy scream. I felt my body relaxing as I looked at the baby girl in my hand before I cut the umbilical cord. 

Carl handed me his shirt to cover the baby and I told him we had to go. He didn't move, looking at Lori with a look of resolve. He told me we couldn't leave her like this, that she would turn. I remembered the promise I made her, not even a week ago. I took a step forward, handing his baby sister out to Carl, but he shock his head no. He took my gun that was lying on the floor next to Lori's lifeless body, motioning for me to leave. 

Sadness engulfed me as I realized what it meant, but I couldn't bring myself to oppose his wish. He needed closure. I left the room, cradling the little girl to my chest as sobs racked my body. Lori was my friend and the pain I felt was agonizing. I could only imagine the one the little boy behind that door felt. The gunshot echoed in the corridor, Carl leaving the room not long after. He didn't say anything, he just walked out, not even giving me a side glance. I followed behind him, pain filling my soul as the baby moved in my arm.

I made it out the door, the afternoon sun blinding me as I got down the stairs. When I reached the last step, I saw Rick and the others standing there. I made my way toward him on my shaky legs, his face falling when he saw what I held in my arms. He made his way toward me, tears falling down his eyes as he reached me. When it downed on him Lori wasn't there, he turned toward the door. I tried to stop him but my bloody fingers slipped on his arms as he made his way toward Carl. The strong man I always knew him to be crumbling in front of our eyes. 

Daryl snapped out of his haze and ran to me as I collapsed to my knees, still holding the baby tightly against me. He kneeled down in front of me and Beth took the little girl out of my grasp. I couldn't stop my body from shacking, the images of what I just did replayed in a loop in my head.

"It's ok Ali, I got ya." He said, his blue eyes searching my face as he gathered me in his arms. "It's ok...shhh" he kept whispering while I clutched at the side of his winged leather vest. My tears were soaking his shirt as he held me close to him, his hands shyly stroking my hair. I felt myself being lifted as he walked away with me in his arms under the shocked look of our family.

*****

Maggie helped me get cleaned up, my traumatized self too useless to scrub all the blood off my skin. Lori's blood. She silently washed my red hair, the water bloody as it fell down the drain. She got me dried off and helped me get dress, a look of sympathy on her face the whole time. Maggie and I where close enough for her to know I was not in a good place right now. When Lori's baby cries made their way to my ears, I froze.

I took of running toward the sound, reaching the cell where Beth was trying to calm her down, rocking her back and fort. My eyes zeroed in on the precious little girl and something in me snapped when I heard Hershel say that she needed to eat and fast. That she wasn't going to make it if she didn't. Rick was gone, lost in his grief, and we had lost people but I didn't have time to mourn, not right now. Lori's voice as she screamed at me to save her baby, reminding me of the promise I made to her kept echoing in my ears. I had to do something.

I turned to Maggie, who had just made it back to the cell. "Didn't you said we passed a daycare on the way here?" I asked, starting to pack my things.

"Yes but..." she started before I roughly handed her a piece of paper.

"You better draw me a map because I'm going."

"Like hell ya are." Daryl protested trying to take my bag away from me. 

"Listen Daryl, I love you man but if you try to stop me I swear to god I'm going to shove your beloved crossbow so far up your ass you're going to shoot bolts out of your mouth." I said jerking my bag out of his hands, in front of a baffled Hershel. "I have to keep my promise to Lori." I choked, trying the hardest I could to swallow back my tears.

He looked at me with sadness and understanding before he started packing as well. He knew in what state of mind I was, he once was like that too. He had almost died. Maggie let out a thankful sigh at the realization that Daryl wouldn't let me go on my crazy quest on my own. They knew that I needed to do it, and they also knew he would be the only one knowing how to handle me in the state I was in. I quickly finished grabbing my stuff before I grabbed the map on which she had circled the area where she remembered seeing the day care. Daryl following me as I took big strides toward his bike. I straddled the heavy machine, and he revved the engine before we left, a trail of dust raising behind us as we left the prison.

When we finally found the daycare, I got off of the bike so fast I almost fell on my face. Daryl grabbed me, pulling me back to my feet before giving me one of his mad look.

"Get yourself together, we ain't goin' in with ya in that state." He said and I knew he was right.

I took a deep breath, pulling myself together before my eyes found his. "Its fine I got it, let's go." I told him, walking toward the door.

We went in, him with his crossbow raised, me clutching my machete. We quickly started to clear the place. Daryl was standing in front of a closet when a walker just jumped out of it, reaching for him. I didn't even think, my hand found my knife strapped to my thigh and I just threw it toward the walker. It fell down, my knife sticking out of his right eye.

"I didn't know ya could throw freakin' knives." He said, looking at me with wide eyes.

"I don't." I said my eyes probably as big as his. "It had to work, I'm not loosing someone else today. Specially not you" I whispered, a tear making his way down my cheek. I cared about Daryl, maybe I was wrong. We weren't friends, we were more than that. I couldn't say what we were and truth is, he probably couldn't either. But one thing I knew was that I needed him more than I could explain. He was the only person who could understand how I felt without me having to explain. I couldn't lose him.

"Stop." He said taking a step toward me. "I promise I ain't goin' anywhere." He was looking at the ground shuffling from one foot to the other. 

"Let's go." I said a sad smirk on my face. His eyes flickering to mine for a second before he nodded.

We finally finished clearing the daycare from walkers before we separated to check the rooms. I grabbed all I could find that we could need. Soon my bag was filled with clothes and wipes and diapers and all kind of other stuff I didn't know the name of but knew would be useful. Daryl called from the kitchen and I quickly scanned the room, making sure I didn't leave anything useful behind, when something caught my eyes from the corner of the room. It was a little pink unicorn plushie. I picked it up, touching the soft material with the tip of my finger. I smiled sadly, taking a deep breath. Daryl entered the room, two cans of baby formula in his hands. We made eye contact and I quickly tucked it in the side pocket of my bag.

"More where that came from." He said, throwing one of the can to me.

We loaded the side saddles of the bike with everything we could, we would need more, but we would be fine for now. We left the daycare, hoping we would get back on time. When we got there, Daryl barely had enough time to stop the bike before I jumped of. I took a can and my bag and ran inside, my shoulder dropping with relief when I heard the cries. I entered the cell block and just dropped the formula and a bottle on the table right in front of Hershel.

Beth quickly settle on preparing a bottle while Daryl brought the stock in. I watched in aw when Carl came out of a cell, his crying little sister in his arm. He nodded thankfully at me, and handed her out to Daryl.

"How are you going to name her?" Beth asked Carl, handing a bottle of milk out to Daryl. His dad being out of it, he inherited the responsibility to name her.

"I was thinking about naming her after one of the one we lost," he said sadly. "But there so many of them I really don't know."

"What 'bout lil' Ass-kicker?" Daryl asked cooing at the little bundle in his massive arms. "Ya like that huh? lil' Ass-kicker"

The laugh that erupted from everyone were bitter-sweet as we watched the scene in front of us. Butterflies erupted in my stomach and I couldn't explain what I felt as I watched Daryl Fucking Dixon, with a baby in his arm. His large, almost six foot frame was making the little girl in his arms look even smaller than reality as she drank her bottle, looking curiously at him. He was handling her with a softness I didn't even know he was capable of, her little frame cradled in his big arm as he held the bottle with his massive calloused hand.

When she finished her bottle, Daryl gave her back. Carl eyes full of love as he rocked his little sister back and fort.


	9. Bring them back

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is a chapter a couple of days early. Thank you hudsonbird for being the first comment ever on one of my fic 💜 Enjoy

My eyes opened and I blinked at the bottom of the bunk in front of me. I could hear the baby's cries echoing in the cell bloc. I got up, put on my black jeans and a blue hoodie on top of the gray tank top I was already wearing. I tied my red hair in a side braid and left my cell, grabbing the unicorn plushie on my way out. I let the cries guide me to Beth cell and I went in to find a disheveled Beth, rocking a screaming baby in her arms.

"I can't get her to calm down. I don't understand, I changed her she already ate, and she still won't stop." She said when she saw me standing in the doorway.

"Why don't you go and get something to eat? I'll take her for a little while." I said and she gave me a tired smile.

I took a few steps and took the little pink bundle from her hand. She was so small, so delicate. Her cries calmed down and Beth left, a tired sigh escaping her lips as she did. I looked at the perfect little girl in my arms and a tear escaped my eye. 

"Your mom loved you so much already." I whispered, shaking the pink unicorn in front of her. Her big blue eyes watching it curiously.

I paced around the small room, my eyes never leaving her face as I rocked her. I wished Lori would have been there, that things had been different. The little girl in my arms whimpered and I laid down on the bed, letting a sigh out.

"You know my mom died when I was born too." I cooed, my voice cracking. "There's going to be time when you'll wonder what would have been if she hadn't, but you have to be strong. You'll have us, I can't wait to tell you about her once you're older." She was listening, her little mouth forming a little O. "Your brother and your dad, they love you very much. We all love you very much." I kissed her forehead.

A noise in the doorway caught my attention and my eyes quickly fell on the culprit. Daryl was standing there, hands in his pocket.

"How much did you heard?" I asked, my eyes going back to the squirming baby holding on to the pink plushie against me.

"Enough." He said a sad look in his eyes before taking a step forward to stand next to the bed, an uncertain look on his face. "I'm gonna pay respect to our friends...I thought ya might wanna come with me." He said, biting his lips.

I nodded and got up, giving one last look at the baby girl in my arms. We left the cell and I dropped her with Hershel before we made our way to our friends last resting place. Two of the graves were empty, Lori and Carol body hadn't been found, but Glenn had worked really hard. The graves were beautiful. Daryl bent down and placed a Cherokee rose on Carol's. We stood in silence for a moment, both not able to put word on our feelings. 

"I'm gonna clear the tombs with Carl and Oscar." He said, avoiding my eyes. "I ain't leaving her walkin' around down there." He added the turmoil in his eyes evident.

I nodded, squeezing his hand, before he left me there. He needed to do it, I understood. I didn't stop him and instead watched him walk away. I turned back to go inside, giving one last glance to the graves before I did. When I came in the cell block, I froze when I saw Rick standing there, looking in admiration at Lori's baby in his arms. His eyes found mine and my knees nearly gave out under me at the look of despair on his face. He gave the little girl to Beth before he walked to me. Taking my hand, he leads me further away from the others. When we stopped, he immediately engulfed me in his arms.

"I'm so sorry Rick." I said, clutching his shirt, unable to keep in the sobs that escaped my mouth. "I couldn't do anything, It's my fault she's dead."

"No." He said, kissing the top of my head before taking a step back to look at me, his hand still on my shoulder. "Alice, you are like a daughter to me. All you did while we were on the road. You've been nothing short of a sister to my son and now....now my baby girl is alive and it's because of you. I don't want you to burden yourself with her death." He said, his voice cracking and tears falling freely from his eyes.

"Thank you, Rick." I said hugging him again. "You've been more of a father to me than mine ever was."

He kissed the top of my head again, and he left. Rick still needed time to mourn Lori's death, but I was relieved he didn't blame me for it, his words lifting a massive weight of my shoulders. We all needed time too, but at least she didn't die for nothing, her little girl shinning a light of hope in the darkness that surrounded us.

*****

I sat down next to Hershel, watching Beth interact with the little girl when Rick and Carl walked in with a tall black woman, locking her in a cell further away from ours. I didn't even have the time to say anything before Daryl walked in with Carol. 

My jaw dropped when I saw her standing there and her eyes filled with tears when she saw what Beth held in her arms.

"Lori..." she said and hugged Rick when he shook his head no. She told him and Carl how sorry she was, and we all allowed our grief to show for a moment before she asked "Who?" 

When Hershel's eyes went in my direction, her face fell as she looked in my eyes. She didn't have to say anything for me to understand how sorry she was that I had to do that, the look in her eyes said it all. We all cried with a mix of sadness at what had happened and relief to have her back. She told us what had happened, how T-Dog had been bitten trying to get to us in the yard, how he helped her hide in the tombs before he could turn. We all listened in silence and cried again, all needing to allow ourselves to grieve what we had lost.

Once we were done with the reunion, Rick finally mentioned the elephant in the room. We had to do something about the women they found wounded outside the prison, a basket of baby formula in her hand, fighting off walkers with a katana. Hershel took care of the bullet wound on her leg and I brought clean clothes. She had a full head of dread lock and the look of someone who had nothing left to lose. I was convinced she could have sneaked in easily if she had any intent to hurt us but Rick insisted we needed to interrogate her.

He was clearly mad after the prisoner that escaped had turn on us, leading to T-Dog's death, Carol disappearance and the chaos that cause Lori to give birth to her baby in the tombs. Even if he had allowed the two others, Oscar and Axel, to join our group after they helped him stop Andrew I could understand why he wanted to be careful with the women in the cell.

She refused to tell us her name, but she told us the story of a community that was in the area. The Governor, the man that was leading them, had sent a group of men after her when she killed his walker daughter. I listened to her story, horrified at what she was saying as I leaned on the cell door.

When she got to the part where she saw an Asian guy with a young brown haired girl scavenging baby formula get taken by one of the Governor's men, Rick and I exchanged a glance. I didn't need to be told what to do and I immediately took of running.

I needed to figure out if Glenn and Maggie had come back from their run into town. It could all be a big coincidence right? Clearly there was another baby somewhere, for which another Asian guy with another brown haired girl were scavenging. Fear was swirling in my stomach when I couldn't find them anywhere. I ran to the front gates, hoping to see them unloading what they found or their car coming down the dirt road to the prison. They were nowhere.

I went back to Rick, informing him that Maggie and Glenn were missing. The woman looked intently at Rick, stating she could help get them back. She clearly had unfinished business with the Governor, and knew a lot about Woodbury. We needed her if we wanted to get our people back. We could decide what to do with her once they were safely back at the prison. Rick untied the woman, telling her he was watching her, and they started to elaborate a plan.

Rick and Michonne were studying a map of the surrounding area when I came in.

"I'm coming." I said stopping in front of them.

"No." Rick said. "We need to go in and out without bringing too much attention to ourselves. I'm taking Daryl and Oscar, that's it."

"But..." I started before Rick cut me off.

"You are staying here, we need to keep this place safe." He said not leaving any place for arguments.

I scoffed, frustrated by his refusal. A part of me understood that with Carol still weak from her time in the tombs and his daughter to protect it would be a bad idea to take all the fighters we had available with him. The other part of me didn't want to stay back while they went to get our friends. We were family. I gave him one last pleading look but gave up when I saw he wouldn't budge. 

When they were finally ready to go, I went to Daryl. He was with Oscar, loading the back of the car with the gas grenades and tear gas canister we had found in the guards lockers on our first day at the prison. Oscar left when he saw me approaching, leaving Daryl and I alone.

"Bring them back Daryl." I said. "And be careful." I added, a smirk making his way to my lips.

"I will." He replied, closing the trunk. "Imma see ya again Ali." He said following our usual ritual, his eyes finally meeting mine as a blush creeped up his face before he quickly looked at the ground.

Rick walked back to us, and they left, leaving us all behind hoping they would be alright. We went back in, Beth settling on taking care of the baby while Hershel and Axel prepared the part were we wanted to grow vegetable in the field. Carol wanted to rest and Carl and I both got our weapons and left to clear the walker around the fence.

"We found her a name." Carl said talking about his baby sister.

"Oh yeah? Shot." I said with a smile as my machete went straight through the skull of the walker in front of me.

"Judith." He replied, piercing a walker chin with the ice pick he held.

"That's a nice name buddy." My smile widening at the thought of the little girl.

We finished clearing the fence smiling and went back in to get a bite. We were both sitting with Hershel and Beth, talking about what we needed for Judith after eating when we heard a blood curling scream.

"What was that?" Beth asked, a frightened look on her face.

"That was coming from the inside." I said, a feeling of dread taking over me.

"Carol?" Beth asked looking at her dad.

"No, she's keeping watch in the guard tower with Axel." He replied shooting me a worried glance.

"How could someone else be in here?" Beth asked.

"The tombs are filled with walkers from the outside, someone else could easily have come in this way as well." Hershel replied.

Carl got up, taking his gun on the table before stating he would go and check. Hershel insisted he couldn't let him go. When Carl told him his dad would, I couldn't argue with him. I looked at Hershel and told him I would go as well. He looked relieved as we gathered our weapons and ran into the tomb.

We didn't have to go far away before we found the source of the noise. There was a group of survivors fighting walkers in one of the boiler rooms. A woman was leaning on a man who was fending off walkers with one hand, a young man backing them while a big black guy with a hammer in his hand was fighting side by side with a small black girl armed with a shovel.

"This way." Carl screamed at them while we shot the walkers that were too close for comfort. 

He didn't have to ask twice before the three men and two woman ran our way. We got out of the boiler room and stopped before we reached the clear zone of the tombs, closing the steel doors behind us. I stopped them before they could follow Carl to the cell block door, motioning him to leave. He gave me a pleading look and I shook my head no. He left us reluctantly and I turned back toward the strangers.

"Wait, nobody moves." I said placing myself in front of the door. "She's bitten, she's not coming in." I said pointing at the woman who was leaning on one of the men.

The younger looking man in the group took a step toward me but was stopped by the big black guy looking like a fridge.

"They saved us, we have to listen to her." He said looking at him before his eye trailed to the smaller woman.

I gave them a look of sympathy as they exchange pained glances. I asked them their names, telling them we would take them for the night if they wanted, after they figured what they were going to do. I left them some privacy, not wanting to intrude on their decision to stay or not, knowing the impact a decision like that could have on your soul.

When I came back the women's son and husband were crying, and they were talking about burying her. I walked up to them, asking if any other of them were hurt or bitten. Some of them were hurt, but nothing major. I told them to follow me and I walked them to the cell bloc.

They looked baffled when they saw the inside of the prison, not believing we had cleared that with our small group. I asked Hershel to tend their wound while I took Carl to the side.

"What do you want to do with them?" I asked him, his eyes bulging in surprise that I would ask him.

"What do you think we should do?" He replied, replacing the sheriff hat on his head.

"I think we should put them in a cell for the night, keep an eye on them the rest of the time. I think we shouldn't take a decision until your dad comes back." I said, letting out a sigh as I massaged my temple, wishing we would have one day were nothing fucked up happened. "Beside I don't think it's a good idea to have them walking freely around Judith."

"What if they don't come back?" He asked, doubt floating in his eyes.

"We figure it out then...together." I said. He hummed in agreement, and we made our way back to the others. I Explained to them how it was going to be until Rick came back, turning their protests away before Carl locked them in a cell for the night. Hershel gave me an approving look when I passed him, and we all turned in for the night.

I didn't sleep well that night, I couldn't push out the feeling something else was going to happen. The next day I was watching the strangers dig a grave for their friends from afar, Carl and Carol guarding them. I really didn't know what to make of them. Tyreese and Sasha looked pretty decent, but Ben and Allen, the dead woman husband and son, didn't inspire me.

I got out of my thoughts when I saw vehicles approaching in the distance. They were back. Carl took of toward the door to open it and I gave Carol a hopeful smile as she motioned for me to go, that she would keep an eye on the strangers. I ran, relieved tears falling from my eyes when I saw Maggie and Glenn get out of the car. I looked at the reunion between Hershel, Beth and them, happiness filling my heart that they got them back. I looked at Rick, noticing Oscar wasn't with them before my heart stopped. The relief I had felt at seeing Maggie and Glenn back vanished when I realized Daryl wasn't with them either.

I looked at Rick and he shook his head. The worst case scenario were rolling in my head, walkers tearing him apart, him getting bitten and one of our friends having to put him down or one of the Governor men's peppering his body with bullet. I stood there paralyzed, tears rolling down my face. Rick, noticing my distraught look took a step forward.

"Shhh...no he's alive." He said, his hands on my shoulders. "We found his brother...I'm sorry Alice, he left with him."

My stomach turned at his words, my blood turning cold in my body. He wasn't dead, he left.

Daryl had a choice, and he chose to leave.


	10. You had a choice

The group of survivors Carl and I found in the tombs didn't stay. They got freaked out after Rick lost his shit, screaming at nothing to leave, and they went their own way. I didn't care, they could do whatever the hell they wanted. If that included being ripped in pieces by walkers, it was their problems. 

I felt numb as I laid in Daryl's bed. It smelled like the forest, cigarette's smoke and that musk scent all men have. After Rick had told me he chose to leave with Merle I just figured I would take the perch, none of them stopped me. I didn't even bother to bring my stuff. I had already cried so much that there wasn't a single tear left in my body. I had absolutely no idea how long I had been lying there, lost somewhere in a darkness I thought I had managed to trap a long time ago when the door opened.

"Leave me alone." I said without even bothering to turn around to see who was there.

I felt the bed dip when the person who had come in sat down next to me. I scoffed, grabbing the pillow to bury my head underneath, not wanting to have anything to do with anyone. I could feel the barricade I had brought down since being with the group build themselves back. I had let them down, put my whole trust in someone, just for them to leave without even a goodbye. The pillow covering my head was suddenly lifted, Carol's face inches away from mine.

"Sweetie, stop acting like a teenager." She said, a smirk on her face.

"No." Was my only answer before I tried to go back under the pillow. Carol, who wasn't having it, just took it and threw it across the room. "Why did you do this?" I huffed sitting in the bed and crossing my arms around my knees. 

God, I really was acting like a teenager.

"You can't stay in here forever." She said, her face suddenly serious. "You survived the apocalypse. You're really going to give up because of a man?"

"I'm pissed he left. He didn't even say goodbye." I said, pinching the bridge of my nose, trying to fight off a headache.

"You shouldn't be. Man like Daryl, they have their codes. The world need more men like him." She said and I looked to the ground, her words making me realize how much I loved him. "Alice I know you love him, believe in him. He'll come around you'll see." She lifted my chin, her eyes finding mine.

"How did you know?" I whispered, tears finding their way back to my eyes under her gaze.

"Come on, the only persons who don't see how much you care for each other are you and Daryl." She chuckled when she saw the blush creeping under the freckles on my face.

"He left Carol. He chose Merle over us. I thought we were his family." I told her, my voice cracking.

"You're hurting and it's probably hard for you to believe right now, but he does love you. I don't know if he realizes what his feeling for you is yet but I know Daryl. He doesn't look at you like he looks at me or Maggie, he doesn't flinch when you touch him, he even seeks you out. Daryl Dixon doesn't do that with anybody. I know you're mad at him right now but sooner or later, you'll have to forgive him." She said a smile on her face. "Now, I have to show Axel how to shot. And you, Miss, are coming with me."

My will to stay hidden under the covers for the next ten years was no match against Carol's will to see me out of this room. She french braided my hair expertly before forcing me to change out of my sweaty clothes. I reluctantly put on the blue jeans and the loose gray tank top she had brought with her on top of the black underwear I was wearing. Once I had my boots and jacket on she gave me my gun, and dragged me outside. 

She only let go of my hand once I was standing in front of the mock shooting-range they had set in the backyard. A bunch of empty cans and bottles sat upside down on sticks in the ground at different distance. Axel was standing there, a stupid smile on his face. I rolled my eyes.

"Hey beautiful." He said and I almost threw up in my mouth. I found Axel creepy. He flirted with every girl he could. Meaning mostly Beth and me, which was freaky considering that Carol was way more in his age range.

"Stop." I warned.

"Or what? You're going to unleash your guard dog on me?" He joked and winked, and I just lost it.

"You shouldn't have said that." Carol chuckled, her hand in front of her mouth. 

He didn't have time to react when I punched him in the face. My fist connecting to his face sending a jolt of pain in my wrist. He got up, and opened his mouth to say something. Only he didn't say anything because he got shot, his brain splattering me. I didn't have the time to locate the source of the bullet before Carol pushed me behind a car, using Axel's body to stop the bullets coming at her. I could see Beth and Carl hiding behind a wall with Judith from where I was. They were both unarmed. 

We were under attack.

I quickly got my gun out of my waistband and looked around the field. Hershel was hiding behind a bush and Michonne was right at the gate, crouched behind the turned over bus we had placed there. My ears were ringing as I watched Maggie run out of the prison with a riffle, shooting at a stranger that was in the watch tower. I took a deep breath, wiping Axel's blood that was dripping down my face. We made eyes contact and I immediately started to cover her, shooting at anyone that had their scope on her.

When the fire stopped, we all turned to the gate. A truck was approaching at a dangerous pace. I watched, time slowing down. Michonne jumped out of the way just in time to avoid being hit by the delivery truck as it went through the gates. The back door opened, walkers pouring out before the truck sped away. The fences breached, walkers coming toward us, we had no other choice than to retreat in the cell block. I got closer to Beth and Carl, covering them as they made their way toward the door. 

When we got in I scanned the room, making sure everyone was safely back inside. That's when I spotted him. He was back. Daryl was standing there next to another redneck I didn't know. His brother, no doubts, when you saw the knife strapped to his arm stub. I could feel Daryl's eye drilling holes in me as he checked me for injuries from where he stood.

I ignored him, adrenaline from the fight still running through my veins as I tried to pay attention to what was happening. Everyone was standing there, safe. Glenn, Hershel and Rick were arguing about what we were supposed to do. Hershel wanted to flee, Glenn wanted us to stay and fight the Governor. Rick, well lets just say Rick didn't look like he was in a good position to take any decision at all.

"Get back here!" Hershel boomed at Rick as he walked away. "You once said this isn't a democracy. Now you need to own up to that. And do something." 

I felt Daryl's eyes on me the whole time. His lips formed a thin line as he watched me from across the room. When the conversation ended, I turned my back to him and walked to my cell, grabbed some clean clothes, and went to the showers. I scrubbed my skin roughly, trying to remove Axel's blood from my body.

When I got back to my cell, Daryl was standing there. He cleared his throat, shifting uncomfortably from foot to foot when he saw me.

"Listen Ali, I ain't good at this." He said, biting his lips.

All the pain I had felt since I learned he left suddenly vanished, pure fury taking its place. I felt detached from my body as watched him just standing there, his piercing blue eyes shattering my soul.

"Don't." I said, my hand shaking. "You don't get to walk out and then come back like you didn't. I thought you and I had each other back. But you're no different from all the other men I trusted in my life. They thought I was a pretty thing to show off to their friends, but they just discarded me when they got bored. Maybe you didn't use me like they did but it's all the same in the end. You hurt me Daryl." I let out a shaky breath. "You said you would come back, that you would see me again. It was lies, you just left the first time you had the chance." I closed my eyes, trying to fight back the tears.

"Alice..." He whispered, moving his hand toward me. I just slapped it away, not wanting him to touch me at this moment. The look of hurt in his eyes didn't register in my brain as I pushed past him to get in my cell. 

*****

I was sitting on the ground, absentmindedly playing with my knife as I watched over Merle. He was locked in the same cell we used when we held Michonne. If I thought Daryl was an asshole when I met him, his brother had to be their fucking king. He had been talking non-stop since I was there. As much as I tried to tune him out, it was becoming harder by the minute. I was close to hit him on the head just so he would shut his mouth, even just for a few minutes.

"Why don't ya unlock the door sweetheart? I ain't gonna hurt a sweet thing like ya."

"Shut up."

"Why don't ya tell ol' Merle what's goin' on in that pretty head of yours huh?" He said and I shuddered at the familiarity of his southern accent. His was more corrosive than his brother's. 

"Listen, Merle." I said a serious look on my face as I watched him from where I sat. "The only reason I'm here is because the others had shit to figure out, and they needed Daryl. I'm stuck on babysitter duty because I'm the only one apart from him that don't want to shoot you. So, If I was you, I would shut the hell up before I change my mind and bust one in your sorry ass." I waved my gun around to highlight my point.

"Oh! Baby got spice! I like that." He hollered, a stupid grin on his face. I rolled my eyes so hard I almost caught a glimpse of my own brain.

"Shut up Merle." Daryl's voice came from behind me, taking the words right out of my mouth.

"I get why ya like that one baby brother. Pretty face with a bad mouth...I dig that." He smirked, Daryl eyes shooting dagger at him in answer.

I got up from the floor, Daryl catching my arm as I pushed past him. His grip sent my heart fluttering but I wasn't ready to talk to him. I got my arm out of his grip and left, not saying anything to him as I walked away. Carol words were echoing in my head as fell asleep that night. I would have to forgive him, but I'd be damned if I didn't make him work for it.

The next day, Glenn was firmly opposing Merle staying after what happened to Maggie while they were at Woodburry. Hershel kept telling him that we could use his knowledge of the inside of the Governor's organization and his military past. I didn't like it one bit, but I agreed with Hershel. Merle was still in the cell, but I could see how anxious it made Glenn to have him close to Maggie. I left the both of them to their argument, seeking out my friend. I found her on the catwalk, looking at the over ran courtyard.

"Hey." I said, my voice heavy with the guilt of letting her down after she came back. "I'm sorry I didn't come earlier."

She didn't say anything, she just hugged me in a bearlike grip, her tear soaking my tank top. I hugged her back, shushing her while stroking her back, like she did after Judith's birth.

"He's making it all about himself." She cried obviously talking about Glenn.

"Do you want me to talk to him?" I asked, pushing a lock of hair behind her ear.

"No, you have your own problems. Anyway, he has to figure it out himself. It doesn't count if he doesn't." She sighed, leaning back against the fence.

We stayed silent for a while, just taking in the devastation of the yard. I let out a sigh and turned to her. "I'm glad you're back. You know you can come to me if you need to talk about it right?"

"I know honey." She said with a sad smile before she went back inside.

Later that day, we were all surprised when Andrea showed up. We found out she was rescued by Michonne, of all people, after we lost the farm. They had spent the whole winter on the road, just like us. I listened in silence as they recalled how they were found by Merle and brought back to Woodburry.

Andrea and I had never been really close, she was too cocky for my liking. She was talking about how Woodburry residents were good people, saying that we should all be able to live together.

"They attacked us." I scoffed. "Now you want us to play nice with your new boyfriend? Look at the field Andrea. We had it all cleaned up before he came in and ruined it."

"Listen." She said, looking around, trying to get someone to back her up. "I'm just asking that Rick meet him, try to come to a peaceful agreement."

"When?" Rick asked, surprising me.

"In two days." Andrea said before giving Rick a location where the meeting would take place.

"Rick! Why would you do that? There is no way he will play this peacefully. This has to be a trap." I busted out, no able to contain my reversion for the idea. "Look at what he did to Glenn, to Maggie. He just sent Andrea because we wouldn't kill her on sight." I screamed, throwing my hand in the air.

"He didn't send me. I came on my own." Was all the blond had to answer.

"You should have stayed there." I muttered as I walked away, trying with all my might not to punch her in the face.

I kept far from Andrea for the rest of the day, knowing thing would turn sour if I stayed around her. She didn't get it, didn't understand how hard we worked for this place, didn't realize what we lost in the process. She decided to get back to the Governor and Rick gave her a gun and the keys to one of our car before she left. Her choice was made if you ask me.

Once Andrea was gone, Rick announced he would take Michonne and Carl back to Atlanta the next day, hoping to find more weapons in case the meeting with the Governor didn't end on good terms. Which let's be honest, it probably wouldn't.

Rick made the decision to free Merle, telling Daryl it was his job to make sure his brother wasn't a problem. I felt a little bad for him. His brother was really something. Daryl wasn't the same when he was around, like his brother's shadow was preventing him to be what he wanted to be.

That night we all laid in our cell, listening to Beth's voice as she sang. I knew we were all doing the same thing, trying to convince ourselves that things would be alright. As I felt my eyes get heavy, sleep inches away from my grasp, my mind went to Daryl.


	11. The deal

It was the day of the meeting with the governor. I was holding Judith in my arms, watching from the distance as Rick, Hershel and Daryl prepared to leave. I watched them drive away, silently hoping that things would turn out fine for once, even if there wasn't a lot of chances of that happening. I went back in when Judith started squirming in my arms and left her to Beth.

I was making my way to help fortify the prison for a possible attack from Woodbury when I heard shouting in the common area. I made my way there, finding Merle and Glenn arguing. Merle had a bag of guns hanging on his stubbed arm and was talking nonsense about ambushing the meeting with the governor. Glenn was having none of it, he already despised Merle and I could see he was pissed that he would be ready to go and sabotage our only chance at a peaceful resolution with the Governor.

"This guy cops a feel of your woman and you pussy out like this?" Merle said and Glenn lost it. 

He jumped on Merle, the two men exchanging a couple of punches before I stepped in, trying to stop them from killing each other. Maggie appeared, trying to calm Glenn down as I tried to keep Merle away from him, the knife strapped to his stub cutting my arm in the process. They were still going, Maggie and I trying in vain to keep them away from each other when a gunshot echoed. 

They froze. Beth was just standing there, gun still pointed at the ceilling. Nobody said anything, Maggie led a clearly pissed off Glenn away, closely followed by Beth. I was left alone with Merle.

"You really like to piss people off don't you?" I told him, a scold on my face.

He didn't say anything at first, his eyes fixated on my arm. "Yur bleedin'." He said and I rolled my eyes at him taking the rag out of my back pocket and applying pressure on the shallow but long cut on my upper arm.

"No shit. You should really keep that pointy thing away from others, asshole." I muttered pointing at his arm and his face instantly fell.

"I...I didn't...it was an accident." He stuttered, taking a step toward me.

"Look" I said ignoring his pathetic excuse of an apology. "If you really care about your brother, you'll think twice about how you treat people here. Think about it, not because you don't want to be left alone, or to show how tough you think you are. Like really think about it...for him if not for you. We are his family" I got up and left him.

When I came in my cell after I cleaned the cut on my arm, there was a crudely wrapped box just sitting on my pillow. I took it, inspecting it. The little box was wrapped with brown paper held by a hemp rope. I undid the knot holding it together and opened the little white box. Inside, wrapped in a piece of cloth was a leather braided multi layered bracelet with a silver arrow in the middle. My breath itched in my throat as I caressed the delicate arrow with my shaking fingers. I sat down on the bed, my heart beating fast as I watched the bracelet. A smile made it's way to my lips as I added it to the assortment of bracelets I always wore on my left arm. It was perfect.

"I told you he would come around." Carol said from the doorway.

My eyes left the bracelet and I looked at the smiling woman. "Did you know about this?"

She ignored my question, sitting on the bed next to me. She just hugged me before she got up, taking my hand in hers. "Come on sweetie, let's go help the others."

We spent the afternoon trying to fix the damages made by the Governor attack, preparing for retaliation at the same time. When they came back from the meeting, we all watched their car come through the gates. Rick gathered us in the common room, a worried expression on his face. He stood, shoulders down as he announced the verdict we had all been waiting for all day. 

"He wants us dead, for what we did to Woodbury," he said. "We're going to war."

Once Rick had left and people had gone back to doing their own things, Daryl's eyes fell on my bandaged arm. My eyes unconsciously found Merle, who was lurking in the shadow a few feet away.

"Imma kill him." He stated, launching himself toward his big brother.

"Daryl wait." I said catching his hand before he could reach him. 

His eyes fell on the bracelet on my wrist before finding mine. "I'm sorry I left." He said, a mix of guilt and pain in his beautiful eyes.

I took a step forward, his height towering over mine, and hugged him. He stiffened at first, slowly relaxing into it. It was soft, sweet, a promise that I forgave him that I couldn't put into words. I stood in his arms, my hand clutching the back of his shirt. We had never been that close to each other except when I exited the tombs with baby Judith in my arm. A catcall erupted from Merle, ruining the peaceful moment. Daryl flipped him the bird, muttering something I didn't understand before smiling at me.

"Don't ever do that to me again, Dixon." I walked away, hoping Daryl would prove to me I was right to forgive him.

I left the brothers alone, a smile on my face as I exited the common area. We were still far from what I wanted us to be, but I knew Daryl needed time and as long as we had each other back's, I would give him as much as he needed.

*****

A couple of days later Merle and Michonne went missing. I was watching Daryl work on his bike when Rick came with Hershel to let us know. Rick confessed that he had lied about the meeting with the governor. Based on Hershel reaction, he already knew. The Governor hadn't really declared war at their meeting, but what he had asked was against everything we stood for. He wanted us to deliver Michonne. 

Apparently Rick had wanted to do it at first, thinking it was the right thing to do, but ended up changing his mind. The thing is, he had previously talked about it with Merle, trying to get him to help before he had a change of heart. Daryl had a panicked look on his face as he listened to Rick. His eyebrows were set in a frown, and he was chewing on his bottom lip. I could tell he wanted to go get him. When Rick finished his story, I turned to Daryl. 

"Go get him, I know that's what you want." I said, and he nodded, asking Rick where they were supposed to drop Michonne before he took off on his bike. "What?" I added at Hershel and Rick face. They exchanged a glance, Rick shaking his head as they walked away.

I waited anxiously for Daryl to come back, trying to keep myself occupied as much as I could. I was helping Glen reinforce the spikes we had installed around the main gate, watching for walkers while he tied them up. I couldn't stop thinking about what could go wrong. I didn't believe the Governor was being truthful when he told Rick he would let us alone if we gave him Michonne. We had only attacked because he had Glenn and Maggie, we would never had done it for another reason. That wasn't what we were. I had never seen the Governor, but based on what he had done to Glenn, Maggie and Michonne, he was the exact opposite. There was no way he would honor his deal, Michonne or not.

I was lost in my thoughts when Glenn elbowed me in the ribs, pointing in the distance. I squinted, looking at the road. An unknown car was approaching, for a moment I thought we were once again under attack and I reached for my pistol. Glenn stopped me before I could reach it, pointing behind the car. Daryl's bike was in the bed of the mysterious truck. We immediately set in motion, opening the gate to let them in before closing it again and running toward the prison. The truck parked right next to the cellblock door, blocking our view.

When we came in, it was total chaos. Michonne was full of blood, Carol and Beth were running around with medical supplies in their hands and I could hear Daryl screaming at Hershel not to let his brother die further away. I turned to Michonne, a thousand questions in my head. 

"He tried to go against the Governor on his own." She answered before I could ask anything. "They're in the infirmary."

I ran to the room Daryl screams were coming from, stopping dead in my track when I saw the scene in front of me. Merle was covered in blood, severely beaten and there was a gunshot wound on his chest. My eyes found Daryl, a distraught look on his face as he watched Hershel operate on his brother. My hand ran through my hair, trying to calm myself down, before taking a step toward Daryl.

"Come on old man, do somethin'." He screamed and my heart broke at the pain I could hear in his voice.

"Daryl...you can't stay here. Hershel need silence to work." I hesitated a second. "I don't think he can do what he has to with you screaming at him." I said trying to make my voice sound as calm as possible as I took his shaking hand.

Hershel shot me a thankful glance before he went back to work. I dragged Daryl out of the room, which was not an easy feat considering the height and weight difference between the two of us. His shoulder were slumped forward, his hand shaking in mine. He collapsed on his knees as soon as we got out the infirmary door. I lifted his face, so he would look at me. His eyes were empty as I scanned his face. He would never allow himself to cry in front of the group, but I could still tell he was close to snapping. 

"Daryl...I don't even know if you can hear me right now but please don't do anything stupid." My eyes searched for Carol before going back to his. "What is happening isn't your fault you hear me?"

I knew Daryl would probably blame himself for what had happened, his selfless mind telling him he should have figured out what his brother was planning. He didn't seem responsive to my voice and I let out a curse under my breath. I motioned Carol over when she finally passed by.

"Keep an eye on him, if Merle die, there is no telling what he'll do." I whispered to her, and she nodded, taking my place in front of Daryl. Her tone was motherly as she whispered soothing things to him.

I remove my jacket and turned to the infirmary. Hershel was actively trying to save the redneck's life. I only had one foot in the room when Merle stopped breathing. Before Hershel had the time to drop his tools, I was already preforming C.P.R., adrenaline having overpowered my ability to think straight. 

"Come on asshole. I heard your brother say so many times no one could kill you but you...now is the time to prove it." I muttered as I worked on his chest.

His body jerked and I took a step back, my bloody hand going straight for my knife. Hershel and I let out a relieved sigh when we realized he hadn't turned and the old man went back to work quickly. 

"He lost too much blood." He said, still working on the wound on Merle chest.

I let out an exasperated sigh, this man was going to be the death of me, all of this because I couldn't see his brother get hurt. "I'm O negative, take some of mine." There wasn't any time to lose figuring out is blood type.

"Ask Beth, she knows what to do." He said his eyes never leaving Merle.

I went to get Beth, Carol going in the room as I left to take over and help Hershel. Rick and Michonne followed behind as we got back to the little waiting room that was just in front of the infirmary. Beth quickly set to work, and I looked at Rick and Michonne. Daryl was standing in front of the window of the room Merle was in, biting whatever was left of his thumb.

"What happened?" I said looking a Michonne. "Please don't tell me to wait, you have to change my mind. I'm deadly scared of needles." I added avoiding to look at the huge needle Beth was currently sticking in my arm.

Michonne sat down and started talking, Rick and I hanging to her every word. Merle had brought Michonne down in the tombs to clear it from walkers, hit her in the face with a freaking telephone, kidnapped her and then dumped her on the side of the road after he had a change of heart too. Daryl had found her on her way back to the prison, and they got to the meeting point only to find him agonizing on the ground inches away from being eaten by walkers. They had cleared the walkers that where around and rushed him back as fast as they could. There was no way for sure to tell exactly what had happened after he left Michonne, but it was safe to assume the idiot tried to take on the Governor and his men before getting his ass handed to him and being left as a snack for the walkers. There was no way to tell how many of the Governor men he had taken down, but she was adamant the man himself wasn't amongst the walkers they killed.

Beth had finished taking my blood somewhere along Michonne story, and she must had taken a lot judging by the black dots that were dancing in front of my eyes. It was either that or the adrenaline wearing off, I really couldn't tell. I tried to get up, Rick trying to stop me before I pushed him out of my way. I took three steps and meet a wall, Daryl. He probably had snapped out of it while Michonne was recalling the event of the day and was now standing right in my way.

"Stop." He said his voice firm but soft. "Ya ain't goin' nowhere, ya done enough." He pushed me back in the chair before giving me a bottle of water.

A moment later, Hershel and Carol came out of the infirmary, both of them with a relived look on their face.

"He's stable for now." Hershel said, wiping the blood off his hands. "We'll have to keep an eye on him, but he's stubborn, he should pull through. He's lucky the bullet missed both his heart and his lung."

"Ain't nothin' to kill Merle but Merle." Daryl said and I laughed, my head spinning.

"Alice, you should get some rest, Merle is a big man compare to you. Beth had to take quite a lot of blood. I'm not sure if he'll need more, but I'd like you to stay close by, just in case."

"Don't worry doc, I'm not going anywhere." My hand found Daryl's.

Hershel gave us a couple instructions, saying he would be back in a few hours to check on Merle but to come get him if anything happened. Once he was done, everyone except Rick, Daryl and I left the infirmary. Rick turned to Daryl and I just let myself collapse on the table, using my arm as a pillow.

"What he did..." Rick started and I could see Daryl stiffening from the corner of my eye. "He proved he deserves us to give him a chance." I internally thanked god I wouldn't have to stop Daryl from chocking Rick where he was standing in the state I was in.

The Dixon brothers had a weird relationship. They both loved and hated each other at the same time but damn were they loyal. I didn't really follow the rest of their conversation as I slowly fell asleep on the table. When I woke up, I could hear Daryl and Merle's voice across the fog that surrounded me. Damn Beth must have taken even more blood than I thought, I couldn't even get myself to wake up completely, I was so tired. I could hear Merle asking what I was doing there. I had to give it to him, if I had been waking up from almost dying I would have been pretty surprised to find him sleeping in my room when I woke up as well. To say we didn't see eye to eye was an understatement. I couldn't hear Daryl answer but I heard Merle reply.

"Imma kick yur ass if ya don't do somethin' fast baby brother." 

Daryl muttered something I didn't understand and I let myself fall back to sleep. When I finally came to, I let out a tired growl.

"Look who joined the party." Merle snickered.

"You're telling me you're the one to get shot and I'm the one who pass out while you're all...being yourself already?" I said groggily as I tried to wipe the sleep out of my eyes.

I looked around, finding I was alone with Merle, laying in a sofa in the corner of the infirmary. He was sitting up, propped up by pillows on the bed. His naked chest was wrapped in bandages, and he had his signature stupid smile on his bruised face. 

"I ain't nobody's bitch." He said repeating the expression I had heard Daryl say so many times.

An amused smile graced my lips and I shook my head. The guy really was something, even getting shot in the chest couldn't stop him. I looked at him and his face got serious all of a sudden.

"Look us Dixon ain't no good at this...but Daryl told me what ya did..." He trailed.

"Stop." I started, looking at him straight in his eyes, the same blue as Daryl's looking back at me. "That's what we do. We're a family, I might not like you that much, but your brother does, so you're family as well."

He didn't have time to say anything, Daryl and Hershel walked in, followed by Rick. I got up from my seat and Daryl caught my hand, squeezing it while Hershel checked his brother. Rick was clearly surprised of what Merle did, and I had to admit I was surprised as well. When I had learned about the Governor's deal and that Merle and Michonne had disappeared, I was convinced Merle would do something stupid. I was glad he proved me wrong, even if he wasn't my favorite person in the world.

Merle was telling Rick what had happened once he reached the meeting point. He had taken down a lot of the Governor's men, but had missed his only shot at the man in charge when he got attacked by a walker, earning him a beating and the bullet wound in his chest.

"What did you tell the others?" I asked Rick.

"The truth." He said. "But I'm not the Governor, we'll figure something out together."

"He's gonna want to tear this place down to the ground." Merle said, saying out loud what we were all thinking. 

"I know." Rick simply said before leaving.


	12. What doesn't kill you

We were running out of time. Now that Merle had gone and tried to attack the Governor, it wasn't a matter of days or weeks. We had hours to figure out what we were going to do. We weren't ready for another attack, according to Merle they were way better equipped than we were. We didn't stand a chance, we had to flee. We were packing whatever we had in the car out of the prison.

I didn't want to leave, we had fought so hard to be where we were, lost so much. I could see Daryl was as reluctant as I was to go, it wasn't in his habit to run in the face of danger. My mind was running a thousand miles a minute trying to figure out another way. I gave one last glance to the prison as I closed the trunk of the car when it hit me.

"The tombs." I whispered, earning a glance from Daryl. "Rick." I screamed, and he made his way toward me.

"I just had the craziest idea ever." I had everyone's attention now. "Remember when Andrew started the alarm?" He gave me a questioning look. "I mean, of course you remember. But the walkers, they filled the tombs when they heard the alarm. If we can make it look like we actually fled the prison, make it easy for the Governor's men to get in, we could ambush them down there. No way they won't make sure we aren't hiding anywhere. We use that at our advantage. We let the walkers take care of them, pick the one that flee one by one."

"That could work." Daryl said and I gave him a thankful smile.

"How the hell did you get and idea like this?" Rick asked me. 

"I used to watch way too many movies." I shrugged. I wasn't one for violence, but between my family's survival and strangers, the choice wasn't hard. I would become Rambo if it meant they would live.

Rick looked around, asking people what they thought. The defeated look on my friends face had morphed into one of hope. We perfected our crazy plan and got into action. The cell block was already empty, we only had to hide.

Rick sent Carl, Hershel and Beth with Judith and Merle, who was still in a terrible shape, to hide the cars in the woods surrounding the prison. Rick, and Michonne would turn on the alarm to attract the walkers, Daryl and Carol would attack with tear gas and smoke grenades and Maggie, Glenn and I would wait, hidden strategically next to the tombs exit to pick the soldiers who would flee. There was probably a couple loose end here and there, but it was our best shot. 

I took a riffle and turned to Daryl before I left to get in position. "Be careful."

"Imma see ya again, Ali." He said his eyes serious, his mouth forming a thin line as he watch me walk away.

I saw Maggie, had a ring on her finger. I gave Glenn a questioning look, and he smiled, a blush creeping up his face. I pointed at Maggie's finger, telling her she would have some serious explaining to do once we would be done. She nodded, understanding it wasn't just about the ring but more of my way to tell her she better not die today. I silently prayed to whatever would hear that none of us would.

We all got in position just in time. One of the guard tower exploding minutes after I took my spot. They came in the yard with machine gun mounted on army vehicles, downing every walker that made it to the field. Just as we had planned, the Governor's men didn't stop at the deserted look of the prison. I could hear their screams when the tear gas and smoke grenades exploded in the tombs, seconds before the alarm started ringing. 

I waited, crunched down in the shadow with my riffle ready for the Governor's men to come out. They did exactly as we planned. We started shooting when they got out. They didn't even pay attention to us, intent on leaving the prison grounds as fast as they could. The one that managed to escape us left in the armored vehicles. I could hear the Governor, who had been waiting outside the fence, screaming at them to come back. The coward hadn't even set a foot in the prison, we couldn't get a clear shot. He sounded pissed when he got back in his car, following behind his fleeing men.

I was so relieved to see everyone had gotten out without a scratch. When he saw me, Rick took me in his arm, swinging me around. My face got red when my eyes met Daryl's, but he had a smirk on his face and what I would almost describe as a proud look in his eyes while he looked at me.

"I can't believe it worked." I said, still baffled it was that easy to lure them in the tombs.

"Asshole still ain't dead." Daryl added, shifting from one foot to the other, his crossbow at his side.

"No, but they're shaken up." Rick stated. "We need to go to Woodbury, finish the job."

It hadn't registered in my head that we would need to go after them, Rick was right. We met the other as they came back from the woods, Hershel had a worried expression on his face. We got back to the security of the cell block, accessing the damaged that had been done by the attack. All in all, it wasn't much. We sat down in the common area, figuring out what our next action would be.

"We take a team, sneak in, end it tonight." Rick said.

"I want to fight." Carl said. "I can do it, I shot one of the Governor's man in the wood." Our head all turned in his direction.

"No." Hershel said. "You gunned down a scared teen who was running away."

"Carl, is that true?" Rick asked.

"He drew on us." Carl exclaimed.

"I believe you, but you're still not coming."

The look in Rick eyes when Carl stormed off said it all. He didn't believe Carl one bit. Hershel explained what happened and my heart constricted. We really needed to do something before he got desensitized to the violence, once we got rid of the Governor. Rick decided he would go with Michonne and Daryl again, the two of them being acquainted with Woodbury already. The rest of us would stay behind and defend the prison, making sure they wouldn't come and take it while they were gone.

I didn't like the idea of them going alone, but I understood that's what we had to do if we wanted to keep our home. Merle was also clearly mad that he couldn't go. Whether it was because he wanted to back his brother or because he had unfinished business with the man, I couldn't tell.

Rick went to see Carl before they left, as he always did when there was a chance he wouldn't come back. Daryl went to see Merle, and I went to Michonne.

"You take care of them ok? We're one big family, you're one of us now." I hugged her.

"You got it." She said before her voice got down to a whisper. "I think someone wants to say goodbye."

I turned, falling face to face with Daryl. His eyes bored the emotion of a man who was going to war. I didn't want to think about the possibility of him not coming back. I couldn't even stand him leaving with his brother, there was no way I would survive him dying. I hugged him, standing on the tip of my toes, knowing there was a real possibility he wouldn't come back this time. Walkers were one thing, humans were another. We were at war, it wasn't a rescue mission, it was an assassination.

"You be careful and make sure you come back you hear me? I'll have to do something really stupid if you don't." I whispered in his ear.

"I ain't dying, not for this motherfucker. Imma see you again Ali."

They left, and we started to bring our stuff back in, trying to keep our mind off what was happening in Woodbury.

They didn't encounter a lot of resistance to get in the small town, the Governor had gunned down all the survivors of the attack on the prison who had fled. They found the convoy, surrounded by dead bodies, one survivor left behind to tell the tale, Karen. She had convinced Tyreese and Sasha, two of the survivors Carl and I had found in the tombs that found their way to Woodbury, to let them in. 

They didn't get him, the coward escaped. All his men were dead, the only ones that were left where the women and the children, or those who couldn't fight. Tyreese and Sasha had stayed behind to protect the people that weren't on the attacks, but in reality they had stayed behind because they didn't thrust the guy.

They came back with Andrea's body in the bed of the truck and a school bus full of the only survivors of the small community. They would stay with us now. The Governor had really made a number on these people, most of them thought we were a dangerous gang before they made it to the prison. The psychopath really had them believe we would attack them if they didn't do anything.

Daryl and Michonne weren't happy by the Governor's escape, and I had to agree it wasn't a good thing for us at all. There was no telling if he would come back. While Carol, Beth and Hershel were helping the Woodbury resident to settle in another block we had cleared, I went to see Daryl. I found him in deep in conversation in Merle's cell next to mine.

"Imma go after him with Michonne." Daryl said.

"Ya ain't gonna find him now. He's gonna hide and get people rallied to his cause b'fore he tries anythin' again." His brother answered.

I took a step in, clearing my throat as I did. They both turned to me.

"You're really going to go after him now?" I asked.

"Not now, but Imma scout the area with Michonne, see if we can find anythin'." He got up and left before I could say anything and I scoffed.

Merle laughed. "He's doin' it mostly for ya sweetheart."

"First of all, don't call me sweetheart." I huffed, frustrated by his stupid smirk. "And what the fuck do you mean he's doing it for me?"

"He care 'bout you, don't want somethin' happennin' to ya. I ain't never seen my baby brother act like that for a chick." He said.

"Shut up Merle." I rolled my eyes and left him, making sure to hide my blush as I left.

"Whatever help ya sleep at nigh' sweetheart." He snickered loud enough for me to hear it as I left the room.

*****

We buried Andrea next to the rest of our people. Tyreese and Sasha decided to stay this time. Carl was mad at first that his dad decided to let the Woodbury people stay with us but soon things started to settle down.

Daryl acted distant in the weeks that followed. He and Michonne kept looking for the Governor. I didn't agree at all and even if didn't really oppose directly, I could tell Daryl felt it. I was sad to see he kept his distance but knew it was something he needed to do. Merle had told me what the Governor did to Daryl, how he forced them to fight each other in the arena, walkers surrounding them. I waited for him to be ready and went on runs with Glenn and Maggie in the meantime.

Three months after the attack from the Governor, Michonne and Daryl still hadn't found anything that would suggest he was still in the area. Michonne still wasn't over it, looking for him every chance she got.

Daryl had come around a little but it was still different from before. I could see he was frustrated that he couldn't catch him, even if he had stopped looking. He was distant, even more closed off than before. I knew he didn't do it on purpose and I tried really hard not to let it affect me, but it still did. 

Merle was slowly getting back on his feet and was finally starting to play nice with people. I couldn't even say I hated him anymore. He was a funny guy to be around when he wasn't being an asshole. Even Glenn had somewhat forgiven him for what happened to his wife at Woodburry.

Carol had taken a liking to the Woodbury children. She started classes for them and had story time all set up in the afternoon. It was probably her own way to mourn Sofia, but the kids liked her so much, nobody could oppose. Beth helped her when she wasn't busy with Judith.

As time passed, the Woodbury resident were slowly being integrated to our everyday life and other survivors group had joined us as well. Rick had established three questions that would allow us to know who we were dealing with.

How many walkers have you killed?

How many peoples have you killed?

Why?

With the growing numbers, we established a council. Daryl, Carol, Sasha, Glenn and I with Hershel as our president. We were taking the decisions now.

Rick, not being in charge anymore, had started a garden in the field. We had a horse and Maggie, Glenn, Merle and Daryl had even found piglets when searching a farm in the area for seeds to plant.

Life was finally starting to make sense again, things were finally working out. We weren't just surviving anymore, we could live a life worth living. We were organized, had watch shifts and everyone had their own responsibilities. Relationships were formed, and we could see a glimpse of hope in our future.

For once in my life I felt useful and appreciated, I finally belonged somewhere, I had a real family.


	13. Dammaged goods

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **THIS CHAPTER CONTAIN SEVERAL TRIGGER WARNING. PLEASE IF YOU HAVE ANY SEE AUTHOR'S NOTE AT THE END FOR THE DETAILED LIST**

The sun was warm on my skin as I stood in the yard, preparing to go hunting on my own. Everyone was busy somewhere and I couldn't stand doing nothing. I adjusted my ponytail before swinging my backpack on my shoulders. More people meant more mouths to feed, we had snares around, vegetables on their way in the gardens, but we could always use more food. After double checking I had everything, I went toward the gate.

I had to admit I also had to clear my mind a little. Things were going great, but things with Daryl weren't. I thought we were becoming something more before the Governor's attack but now we weren't anything anymore. In the last months, he got more and more distant. I felt like I had dreamed everything, it was like he and I had never gotten close. I was toying with the arrow bracelet on my arm and had almost reached the gates when Merle called me.

"Hey sweetheart, heard ya were goin' huntin'." He said his signature grin on his face.

"Yeah, alone." I said.

"Oh come on, I'm gettin' bored in here." He said with fake puppy eyes.

I let out an exasperated sigh. "Ok, but please shut up."

He gave me a toothy grin and followed behind me. Merle and I had developed some kind of friendship over the last months. He was always around. Even if he wasn't as much of an asshole as before, some people were still scared of him. I guess since I saved his life and I wasn't that much of a people person either, he and I becoming friends was kind of inevitable. It hurt a little, spending time with him. I liked him but he reminded me of his brother.

I didn't talk a lot as we made our way in the forest but Merle must have been physically incapable to close his mouth. He wouldn't shut up, he kept talking non-stop. After an hour or so of him blasting my ears I snapped.

"Can't you just shut your mouth for a couple of minutes? You're scaring the animals." I stopped to turn at him.

"Aw! Yur no fun sweetheart." He said throwing his arms up.

"If I'm no fun why did you asked to come with me huh?" I asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Well..." He trailed, and I was surprised by the lack of a crappy come back.

It was weird coming from Merle. He usually wouldn't let go of any occasion to tell one of his hillbilly jokes. I didn't know Merle as much as I knew Daryl, but I had a feeling he was hiding something. Dixon's tended to act weird when they were hiding something.

"You better not be planning something stupid." I said glaring at him.

"Ain't nothin' like that sweetheart." He said, looking around.

I shook my head and continued to walk around, paying attention to my surrounding trying to find a rabbit. We had been walking around for a while when I heard a chime in the distance. I asked Merle if he had heard anything, and he nodded. We made our way toward the sound, only to find a log cabin.

It looked deserted. The dirty windows were boarded up and a part of the roof looked like it had caved in. The faded wood exterior was dirty, and the front porch was covered with dead leaves. The chime was floating in the breeze, giving the place an eery feeling. I took a few steps in the overgrown lawn.

"Check the shed." I said pointing at the tin storage a little on the side of the cabin. "I'll check the inside, there may be something useful here."

Merle nodded and made his way to the shed, nonchalantly stabbing a walker as he walked toward it. I made my way up the stairs, carefully avoiding the rotten plank. I opened the door and knocked on the doorway, listening for any signs of a walker that could be inside. Once I was satisfied there was none, I took a step inside, the old floor cracking under my foot. I looked around, the floor was dirty, broken glass and junk was littering every surface and empty beer bottles where on the kitchenette countertop. The fridge door was lying on the floor and dirty dishes were filling the sink.

I rummaged around a little, opening the drawer of the side table sitting next to the dusty sofa. There wasn't a lot of useful things in the living area, I didn't find anything else than a Zippo lighter and a half pack of cigarettes. Daryl passed my mind as put them in my bag, making my way toward one of the doors on the other side of the small room.

On the other side of the door, was a small bedroom that was as dirty as the rest of the cabin. I dropped my bag near the single dresser that was standing next to the door. Distressed clothes were hanging in the ajar wardrobe and there was a dead naked walker in the corner. I scrunched my nose at the smell but one thing got my attention, the bed looked like it had recently been slept in. Dread filled me and goosebumps ran across my skin but before I could call for Merle, a hand covered my mouth.

"Look what we got here." The man said, his mouth inches away from my ear. "What is a pretty thing like you doing out here?"

I could smell the alcohol on his breath. This couldn't be good and I froze, my mind racing. He turned me around and I shivered when I saw him. He was a lot taller than me, his gut was hanging out of his dirty white wife beater shirt and his long graying hair where matted with sweat. He pushed me against the wall, licking the side of my face, the feeling of his unkept beard touching my cheek making my stomach churn. His hand grazed my thigh and I screamed when he pressed my own knife to my throat, causing his hand to squeeze harder against my mouth.

"Now I wouldn't scream too much if I was you." He said with a gruff voice. "See I'm not alone here, and me and my friend don't like people sneaking in our stuff. Since you're a nice piece of ass, If you shut up we may play nice and let your little friend out there leave."

My eye widened at the realization of what he was implying. Tears fell from my eyes as he pressed his body against mine, pinning me to the wall with his weight. I could feel a bulge forming in his disgusting pants. I stood there paralyzed as his hand left my mouth to touch my hip, his rough fingers slipping under my shirt. He put my knife on the dresser and grabbed my hair, undoing my ponytail and letting my hair fall on my shoulders.

"Been a long time since I had a pretty woman like you. I always liked gingers." He said, his hand going back to the back of my head before he kissed me forcefully.

My stomach turned and I bit his lip. His grip on my hair tightened, and he threw me to the dirty floor, my head hitting the ground with a loud tud and a shard of glass piercing my leg. I tried to scurry away from him but I felt too dizzy. I panicked when I felt his hand grab my ankle before he dragged me toward him.

"Oh you like it rough bitch? I'm gonna have so much fun breaking you." He said with a chuckle, a crazy grin on his face.

My head was spinning and I felt like I was going to pass out when he sat on top of me. He ripped my tank top, his eyes darkening when he looked me up and down. I screamed again when he yanked my jeans down, ripping the shard of glass out at the same time, and he punched me.

"I told you to keep quiet." He screamed at me, his hand slipping under my bra. He roughly pinched my nipple, his eyes darkening before he cut the middle of my bra with my knife, the fabric falling at my side. 

I tried to fight back some more, my leg kicking under him. I bit his hand when it passed close enough to my mouth. He grabbed me by the hair again, forcefully smashing my head against the floor. I moaned out in pain, and he smirked on top of me.

I was squirming under him, trying to escape his grip while he was busy trying to undo his zipper. My head was pounding and my leg was hurting, I didn't have the strength to escape his grasp. I closed my eyes, a sob racking my body as I realized this was how I was going to die. I let out a wail, my body shacking as I wished he would kill me now. I didn't want to end up as a toy for this disgusting man. He let out a grunt and I felt a hot and sticky liquid splash my chest before his weight was lifted from me. 

I opened my eyes, my vision blurry as I scanned my surrounding. The man was lying next to me, his throat slit, and his blood everywhere on me. Merle was standing over me, his eyes avoiding looking in my direction as he removed his shirt. I sat on the bloody floor, clutching my knees against my chest as I rocked back and fort.

He covered me with his shirt, his eyes shameful as he tucked a strand of dirty hair behind my ear. I recoiled, my head throbbing at the sudden movement and his face fell.

"There is another one of them." I said in a croaky voice, my head spinning.

"Not any more sweetheart." He said a sad look on his face as he picked me up bridal style before muttering. "He's gonna fuckin' kill me."

"Who's going to kill you?" I muttered, my voice barely a whisper as I was close to loosing consciousness.

"I was s'pose to make sure nothin' happen to ya." He said seconds before I passed out.

I opened my eyes, my head bopping up and down and my ears ringing. I could feel a warm body pressed against me and flashbacks popped in my mind. I panicked when I saw my almost naked body. I started to trash around, causing Merle to drop me on the forest floor. I let out a pained grunt when I hit the ground and scurried back when Merle took a quick step toward me. I tried to cover myself as much as I could as I backed up, unable to recognize him in my panicked state.

"I ain't gonna hurt ya sweetheart." He said and the familiar nickname brought me back to reality.

He picked me back up, my body shaking as I cried in his chest. I was in and out of it the whole time he carried me back to the prison. Every time I would wake up, he would whisper comforting words to me, telling me I was safe, that he would get me back home. I was half conscious when we finally reached the prison. 

I barely registered the commotion that happened when we passed the gates. I felt myself switching arms and being rushed inside, the voices around me sounded so far away. I don't even know what happened after that. When I woke up I wasn't wearing Merle's shirt anymore, I had clean underwear and a clean blue T-shirt on. I poked the bandage on my leg and scrunched my nose at the pain it caused. My memories of what happened started to come back to me and I curled up on myself on the infirmary bed, my body shaking violently as I cried.

The door suddenly opened before I felt a hand on my hip. I jerked myself away from the hand, turning with panicked eyes at the body attached to it. Daryl was looking at me with an alarmed expression on his face. 

"Don't touch me." I screeched, and I could see the pain in his eyes.

"Alice." He whispered, his hand still hovering over my hips. "I came as soon as Merle told me what happened when I got back."

"Since when do you care what happen to me? You've been ignoring me for weeks." I screamed my voice cracking.

I was loosing it, a part of me knew what I was saying wasn't true but the other part of me didn't care at all. I was hurt, lost once again in the darkness that always lurked inside me. I had worked so hard in the last months to put myself back together, to let go of the past. I thought I was strong, that I had finally forgot everything I had been through, but I wasn't. In one single moment it all shattered again.

"It ain't what ya think." He said biting his lips and looking away.

"How would you know what I'm thinking, you barely talked to me since you went looking for the Governor." I wasn't crying anymore, I was screaming, anger the only emotion my traumatized mind was allowing me to feel.

"It ain't like that." He said, a pleading look in his eyes as his finger grazed my cheek.

I broke apart and he encircled me in his arm. I tried pushing him away, but he didn't let go, his strong arms holding me against him as I let it all out. He didn't let me go, his comforting scent enveloping me as he whispered sweet nothing in my ear. I cried myself to sleep in his arms. When I woke up, it was dark outside. I could feel Daryl's body behind me, his arm around my waist. I let out a shaky breath and felt him stir behind me.

"Yur safe Ali." He said, his voice shaking and his arm tightening around my waist, pressing me closer to him.

I turned to face him, my eyes scanning his face. He looked worried I would push him away again and I sighed. I felt full of shame that I had pushed him away, that I had made him feel like I didn't need him. I did need him, I had missed him so much in the last months.

"Why did you pushed me away?" I whispered, tears threatening to fall from my eyes once again. "You said it wasn't what I was thinking, what is it then?"

He let out a sigh, his hands shaking as he toyed with the arrow bracelet still on my wrist. I held my breath, scared I would break again as I watched him slip his fingers through mine.

"I'm no good for ya. I thought ya would be happier if I ain't around. Merle was s'pose to keep an eye on ya." He said with pity in his eyes and I withdrawn my hand from his, sitting up on the bed. "I'm sorry 'bout what happened to ya."

I got up, the wound in my leg shooting jolt of pain through me as I stood with my back to him. "I don't want your excuses." I spitted in disgust. "I don't need your pity, and I sure as hell don't need your brother watching me. I wouldn't even have been out there if it wasn't for you. It wouldn't have happened again if I hadn't been trying to get you out of my mind." 

The words fell out of my mouth before I could stop them. I had never told about what had happened to me to anyone. I was afraid, my body shaking as I stood in front of him. He got up from the bed, turning me around, so I would look at him. I looked vacantly at the floor in shame, avoiding his questioning gaze.

"Whatta ya mean...again?" He said, a hurt look on his face.

I swallowed painfully, my throat dry as I realized I wouldn't have a choice but to tell him. I didn't want him to think of me differently, didn't want him to see the broken little girl I was inside but it was too late. I let him guide me back to the bed, and he kneeled in front of me, my eyes not leaving my lap as I nervously fidgeted with my fingers.

"I never told you how I became a stripper." I trailed and he shook his head. I took a deep breath and it all came pouring out. 

"You already know my mom died when I was born. My dad, he lost it when she died, started drinking and doing stupid shit. I spent the first ten years of my life living with my mom's dad." A sad smile made its way to my lips at the thought of him. "He's the one that showed me how to hunt, you know. I used to be so happy living with him." I started to cry, and he sat down next to me on the bed, taking my hand in his.

"When he died, there was no one else to take care of me...social services sent me back to live with my dad." I said bitterly. "He was a highly functioning alcoholic by then, they didn't see why he couldn't take care of me."

"Did he..." He asked and I shook my head.

"He didn't touch me. Never did. He barely even looked at me, he hated me. Most of the time he would just act like I wasn't there, but when he was drunk he would scream at me, tell me he couldn't stand to look at me. He said I looked too much like her." I stopped, and he squeezed my hand.

"Ya don't have to say anythin' if ya don't wanna." He said his eyes full of understanding but I shook my head. I needed to talk about it.

"When I was seventeen, he was drinking with one of his friend. He passed out on the couch and his friend...his friend came in my room. He forced himself on me. I had never been with a man before and I kept begging him to stop." He wiped a tear that was trailing down my cheek and lifted me, so I was sitting on his lap. "My dad woke up, I don't know if my screaming woke him up or if he was just looking for his friend, but he came barging in my room." I was shaking like a leaf.

"Ya don't have to continue Alice." He said holding me tighter. I couldn't hear him, too deep in the dark memory to stop now.

"My dad was too drunk, he didn't see it for what it was. He thought I had made a pass at his friend. I tried to make him see the truth, but he didn't believe me. He called me a lying whore, threw me out of the house. It all spiraled down from there, I started drinking too. I was desperate, it was the only way I could find to cope with what hapened. One of my friends, she knew I got thrown out but I never told her why, she thought it was because of the drinking. She got me a job at the bar she was dancing at. I didn't care about anything anymore. I kept ending up with man who didn't give a shit about me. Then the apocalypse happened." I let out a shaky breath. "I don't even understand why you're still here after hearing all that. I'm damaged goods. I thought it was behind me, but it isn't. I'm sorry I said the only reason I was out there was you. It's all my fault, I'm not better than my dad. I'm weak."

"Imma tell ya again Alice. I don't care what ya did b'fore." He held me even closer and kissed the top of my head. "I'm not leavin' ya again."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **TRIGGERS LIST**
> 
> Attempted rape  
> Mention of past rape  
> Mention of past psycological child abuse  
> Mention of alcoholism


	14. What game are we playing

Daryl stayed with me the whole time, leaving my side only when he didn't have a choice. It felt good having him there, I had missed him in the last months. We were back at were we had left before the Governor, not lovers, not friends just something in between. I could tell Daryl cared about me, I just didn't know if he would ever be ready to admit it to himself, let alone to me. I knew he cared about me and that was the only thing I needed from him at the moment. He would probably be the only man I would ever fall in love with, but I was content with what we had. It was better having him around like this than not having him around at all. The last months had been a proof of that.

It had been four days since what happened at the cabin and I had finally been cleared by Hershel to leave the infirmary. I came out of the building limping, stopping to let the sun fall on my face. It felt good to feel the warm breeze caress my skin, it made me feel lighter. Daryl was waiting for me outside with Merle, who stopped dead in his tracks when he saw the bruises still covering half of my face. He hadn't seen me since he had brought me back, and I could see the guilt in his eyes.

"Sweetheart, I'm sorry." He said looking at the ground, his voice cracking.

"It's fine, I'm fine." I said my voice cracking as well before I took his hand.

"I shouldn't have let ya go in alone." He said and I shook my head.

"This is not your fault, you have nothing to do with this." I forced him to look at my face. "I would be dead if it wasn't for you, you saved my life in there." Daryl stiffened next to me.

I would have been dead without Merle. There was no saying otherwise, and Daryl knew it. He didn't like me saying it but the limp still present as I walked and the bruises on my face were a testament of that. There was no denying it. I hugged Merle and he stiffened, awkwardly returning it.

"You Dixon really don't know how to take a hug do you?" I joked and they both chuckled.

"Come on." Daryl said.

I took a deep breath and started to walk back to the cell block our closely knit group were living in, both men following behind me. When I passed next to a group of people I barely knew, I could hear their whispers as I walked by. I froze, and realized all those people had seen me come back, all bloody and half naked. I felt naked once again under their gaze and it made me feel so dirty I wished the ground would open and swallow me whole. 

"Don't y'all have somethin' else to do?" Merle screamed at them.

I had never in my life felt as exposed as I was feeling at that moment. Which was saying a lot taking into account I used to strip for a living. Those people used to see me as a leader, now they saw me as the poor girl who almost got raped.

"Don't pay attention to 'em Ali." Daryl said and I nodded, following him inside.

When we came in, Rick made a straight line for me. I hadn't seen him since Merle brought me back, but Daryl had told me he's actually the one his brother had passed me to after we entered the prison ground. He didn't come to see me in the infirmary like Maggie or Carol. He looked relieved as his arms wrapped around me.

"I'm so glad you're ok." He said as he took a step back to look at me, a pained look on his face when he saw my bruises. His shoulders sagged and he pulled me in his arms. 

I couldn't say anything, tears filled my eyes when I realised all of them where there. Carl was standing a few feet behind his dad with his sister in his arms. Maggie and Glenn stood hand in hand, Beth sitting with Hershel at a table near them. Carol a taken a spot near the Dixon brothers. Even Tyreese and Sasha were there.

The words were stuck in my throat as it once again dawned on me how much I loved these people. I could go through anything, because I had them. Rick had been right that day at the farm, we couldn't make it without people anymore.

*****

Two weeks later, I was slowly going back to my normal occupations. People outside our family were still giving me side glance, and it bothered me, but I pushed through it as much as I could. I still woke up in the middle of the night because of nightmares but it was getting better. Every time I woke up screaming in the dark cell block, Carol was there, stroking my hair and shushing me back to sleep. I had been spending a lot of time with Beth, Maggie being busy a lot lately, and I had to say Beth's tendencies to see the good around her had helped a lot. Daryl was around a lot more and when he wasn't his brother was. Merle was acting like a watchdog around me, often screaming obscenity at people who looked at me too much for his liking. It didn't bother me, and I had to say I liked his company a little more every day.

Daryl still hadn't let me leave the fences yet, Rick and the council strongly agreeing with him. I was starting to get pissed and I was bored out of my mind. It wasn't like him not to respect my boundaries and since I was used to being out all the time, either hunting or scavenging, it felt weird to stay inside the fences. Him of all people should know. I helped around as much as people would let me but it didn't feel enough. That day I was in the guard tower longingly watching the surrounding area. It was a beautiful day, the warm breeze felt good on my skin, but there was nothing happening.

I had been up here for a while now. I liked the watchtower, it gave you a view over everything we had worked so hard for. I liked being alone up here. As much as I liked spending time with Daryl or how funny I though Merle watchdog act was, I needed the little break, needed to think a little. Since everyone was so adamant about me not leaving on my own the watchtower was my best bet. I placed my riffle near the door and looked around. A group was clearing the walkers at the fence, the little outdoor kitchen we had set up was bustling with activity and I could see Hershel, Rick and Carl working in the garden.

From the corner of my eyes I could also see Daryl and Merle who were both working on their bikes. I let out a sigh when I saw him. In the last week, I had been thinking more and more about my feelings for Daryl. His behavior was frustrating me. I needed to know where we stood, and it was impossible to figure out if he even realized what his feeling for me were. Some days he was acting like he couldn't live without me and the other it felt like I was nothing more than his best friend. I couldn't ignore the butterflies in my stomach every time I saw him anymore.

So many times in my live I thought I was in love, but I knew it wasn't the case. Nothing could compare to how I felt with him. The other men in my life had never loved me. They just used me and then disposed of me when they got bored. I had never really felt safe with them either, not like I felt with him. I had been so scared of his reaction, that I had lied to myself. I kept thinking that it was better having him like this than not having him at all but in reality I couldn't keep going like this. I needed him to know what I felt. In a world where every goodbye could be the last, I couldn't live with him not knowing. 

Maggie came through the door, getting me out of my head. "Hey Alice, you haven't eaten anything this morning, I thought you would probably be hungry by now." She said handing me a plate of meat.

"Thanks." I said, absentmindedly taking the plate from her, still looking at Daryl.

"Are you okay? You look a little out of it." She asked and I nodded.

"Yeah...I just have a lot on my mind that's it." I said and she chuckled.

"You mean a lot of Daryl on your mind?" She winked and I slapped her shoulder playfully, my face heating up at her comment.

"Yeah...but I feel like I'm the only one who want us to be something more than whatever this thing we have going on is." I said picking a piece of the meat on my plate.

"Oh honey you must be blind to think that man isn't crazy about you." She said.

"Carol says that too, but I have to say when I'm around those two I feel more like a long-lost Dixon than anything else." I said, taking a bite of the tasty meat. " I don't think Daryl understand how he feels about me. He even though I'd be happier without him."

"He doesn't really believe that. Men like Daryl, they just think everyone his better off without them you know." She hugged me before looking straight in my eyes.

"One of those days he's going to realize you and him are a perfect match. But it would probably not hurt to give him a hint." She smiled.

"That's the thing. I don't understand how he sees me. He's always there but every time things get serious he just walks away. I don't want to force him into something that make him uncomfortable. He already looks so sad when he looks at me, I don't want him to change who he is for me." 

"See, that's why you and him are perfect together, you'd both do anything for the other to be happy, even if it means forgetting your own happiness. You just both don't realize you need each other to be happy." She said putting a comforting hand on my shoulder. "I have to go, but I'm here if you want to talk about it ok honey?" She smiled and left, leaving me alone with my though once again.

I finished eating, stuck in the conversation we just had. When Glenn came to relieve me from watch duty, I immediately settled on finding Daryl. I needed to tell him how I felt. If he didn't want me the same way then at least I would know. I just hoped what I was about to do wouldn't backfire.

I found him still working on his bike. I silently thanked the world Merle wasn't with him anymore. I sat down in the grass next to where he was working and looked at him. The muscles in his arms where straining as he worked, his hair sticking to his forehead in the warm afternoon air, and he was biting his bottom lip, like he did every time he was thinking about something. My heart fluttered in my chest and I frowned. That man was taking my breath away, there was no denying it.

"Ya good?" He asked, looking at me from the corner of his eyes, not stopping what he was doing.

"Actually, I wanted to talk to you." I said, and he mumbled something, dropping what he was doing and wiping his hand on the rag that was always in his back pocket.

"What is it?" He said, leaning back in the grass next to me.

"I've just...I've been thinking a lot lately, and I'm getting confused." I said nervously, looking at my feet, clacking the barbel in my tongue against my teeth. I didn't know how to say it without scaring him off.

"Confused 'bout what?" He asked, a puzzled look on his beautiful face.

"You. I'm getting confused about you." I said and my stomach turned. There was no taking it back now that it was out, I would have to tell him. I nervously played with the hem of my tank top. He wasn't saying anything and I couldn't stand the heavy silence. "I care about you, a lot, and I know you care too, I just can't figure out what we're supposed to be and it's killing me."

"Ya shouldn't." He said, a storm raging in his eyes.

"I tried Daryl, so hard. But every time I tell myself I'm crazy to think there could be something more between us, you do something that makes me even crazier about you. I can't keep lying to myself and act like I'm alright with how things are between us. Every single time you leave I can't stop thinking it may be the last time we see each other, and if it was you wouldn't even know how much I love you. You said you though I'd be happier without you but can't you see it's not what I want?" My voice was shaking.

"It ain't right, ya and me." He said before getting up and pacing in front of me. My shoulders slumped when I realized I had made a mistake, I shouldn't have pushed him.

"You say that but I'm clearly not the only one who care. Don't tell me the way you acted that night after your brother brought me back was nothing. We can't keep playing that stupid game!"

"I ain't playin' any game." I recoiled at his harsh tone. He was clearly agitated now. 

"Then what's your deal? You can't act like you care so much and then tell me it isn't right!" I was starting to get agitated as well. I couldn't believe that was his reaction to me telling him I loved him.

"What don't ya understand woman? I ain't right for ya. Ya want to know why I acted like that? It's only b'cause ya can't stop almost gettin' yurself killed." He screamed and I froze.

"You know what? Fuck you Dixon! You want to lie to yourself and tell me you don't love me than fine! I don't need you anyway." I got up, removing the arrow bracelet and throwing it to him before I walked away, hiding the tears that were falling down my cheeks. I could hear him cursing as I walked away.

I couldn't believe how it played out. As I walked back to the cell block I though back to what had happened between us since we knew each other. I should have seen it coming, he always pushed me away when things were getting serious. Every time we were getting closer he would walk away or disappear. He left with Merle first chance he got, then he just ghosted me after the governor and didn't do anything about it until his brother brought me back in a semi-conscious state. He wasn't ready for anything, and now I had fucked everything up. There were nothing anymore, and it hurt so bad I didn't know what to do.

I went back inside and grabbed my weapons. I really needed to go out, and there was no one to stop me now. Michonne had told me about a nice spot she found in the town nearby, and I decided it was as good as any place to go and clear my mind.

As I walked to the gates, Sasha caught up to me. "Alice? What are you doing?"

"Going on a walk." I snapped, not stopping to do so.

She eyed me carefully, raising an eyebrow in question. "Does anyone know about this?"

"Yeah, you do." I answered, turning back to look at her. "I'll be back tomorrow, I just need some time alone. I can't stand being stuck here anymore. Everyone keeps acting like I'm a kid, I'm sick of it. I'm going out, please don't try to stop me."

"Won't Daryl be mad that you went out on your own?" She asked and I couldn't stop the scoff that escaped my lips.

"Who cares what Daryl think." I said, struggling to keep the tears that threatened to fall from my eyes.

Sasha gave me a sad look, not asking any more question before she told me to be careful out there. I was so thankful she didn't stop me from leaving, I would have to punch her if she did. I walked out of the gates and made my way to the town close by.


	15. Yours

I sat motionless on the roof of a nice suburban house in a gated community, watching the sun set over the trees on the horizon. Most of the small town was over ran by walkers but the fences of the community had kept most of the walkers at bay. The house was ransacked, little left behind by looters but clear from any walkers. It had been easy to clear a path to the house and even easier to get to the roof. I sat there crying, my knife strapped to my thigh and my gun and machete lying next to me, wishing I had a tub of chocolate ice cream and a can of whipped cream to drown my sorrow in.

I knew I wouldn't go back to the prison tonight, the idea of seeing Daryl right now making my stomach turn. I had told him how I felt, and he had rejected me in the worst way I could have imagine, telling me the only reason he had been this way was because I couldn't keep myself from almost getting killed. Now, I know I may not always be the most reasonable person when it came to danger, but damn telling me that's the only reason he hanged out with me was straight up savage. I knew it wasn't the truth, but the fact he had said it, without caring that it would hurt me, was unbelievable.

Who the hell acted like he did toward someone to tell them they weren't good for each other when the other one fell in love. I leaned back on the roof, letting out a frustrated groan as I did. I stayed like this, looking at the orange and red hue of the sky, thinking about how I would go on at the prison with Daryl around. I knew it would be hard and I couldn't wrap my head around how thing would work out without him by my side. I thought we were a team, but I guess I was wrong.

I almost fell from the roof when someone cleared their throat from the window next to me. "You must be kidding me." I mumbled when I noticed Daryl standing there. He climbed over the windowsill and sat next to me.

"Ali" He said, his voice cracking when he saw I wasn't looking at him.

"See I'm alive, you can leave now." I said bitterly, still looking around the town.

"Stop acting like a damn kid and come back to the prison." He said and I let out a resentful laugh.

"You don't get to ask me to come back." I snapped my furious eyes going to his. "Anyway how the fuck did you find me?"

"Gotta learn how to cover yur tracks, ya were damn easy to find." he said shrugging.

I huffed, taking my stuff and swinging my backpack on my shoulder, ready to leave the roof and get as far away from him as fast as I could while I was still mad enough he had found me not to turn into a crying mess in front of him. I didn't want him to see me cry, not after how he reacted. It was already bad enough that I had trusted him and was naive enough to fall in love with that man.

Hurt flashed in his eyes before he let out a frustrated sigh. "Come on Alice, ya know I ain't good at this." He said, scratching the back of his neck.

"Was that supposed to be an apologies?" I said, not believing the balls he had to think all he needed was a lame apologies. "That's not enough. The only thing I did was being honest, and you can't even do the same for me."

"Stop." He said taking a step toward me, reaching out for me but I ignored him, climbing in the window to get back inside the house. He quickly followed me inside, grabbing my arm, so I couldn't leave the room we were now standing in. "Yur so fuckin' stubborn."

"I'm sorry what? I'm stubborn?" I huffed slapping his hand away. "Coming from the guy so stubborn he rather lies than admit he cares for someone." I screamed, pointing an accusing finger at him. 

"I ain't stubborn, just scared that's all." He said, switching his weight from one foot to the other. My eyes widened, Daryl Dixon just admitted he was scarred of something. I must have fallen asleep on the roof, we couldn't really be having this conversation right now. The Daryl I knew wasn't scared of anything.

"I ain't right for ya, I'm almost old enough to be yur damn dad." He said, looking at the floor.

"What?" I almost had to keep my jaw from hitting the floor, I was shocked by what he had just said. "You're telling me all of that was because you think you're too old for me?" I laughed in disbelief. "You hurt me because of that? Who cares if you're older than me, the world is gone for fuck sake" I said my eyes full of tears. 

His face was serious when he took a step toward me. I could see the guilt in his eyes when he took my hand in his. I couldn't understand why he though pushing me away was the best thing to do. "I ain't good 'nough for a girl like ya." The sincere look in his eyes broke my heart. Daryl thought he wasn't good enough for me. That wonderful man thought he didn't deserve me. That changed everything.

"Daryl." I whispered taking a step toward him. My fingers traced his jaw, the stubble on his face tickling me as I did, and he took a step back. My arms fell on my side as I looked at him, my voice shaking. "Why would you think you're not good enough for me? When you're not trying to push me away, you're the most amazing man I've ever met."

He turned his back to me, the wings on the back of his jacket the only thing I could see in the dim light, and he mumbled something I couldn't hear. I took a step forward. "Please don't walk away again. I can't stand silence, not right now." I said reaching out for him.

"I don't want to lose ya." He said looking at me over his shoulder, his eyes dark and his hands tightly closed into fist. "I'm scared someone will take ya away from me. Why would ya stay with a redneck asshole like me. I ain't even able to keep ya safe." 

"Why would you think I would let someone take me away? No one is safe anymore, doesn't matter with who they are." I took his hand, placing his palm on my heraticaly beating heart. He tried to remove his hand but I held it there, looking straight into his blue eyes. "See what you do to me? There could never be anyone else. How I feel when I'm with you, nothing can change that. You are a wonderful man Daryl Dixon, don't ever think anything short of that about yourself. I love you, you don't even have to say you love me back but please don't walk away because you're scared."

He took a step toward me, engulfing me in his arm. I clutched his shirt, breathing in his scent. I couldn't believe I almost lost him because he was scared I would walk away. All this time, and he couldn't see how important he was to me, too blinded by the rejections in his past to see how much I needed him. He buried his face in my hair, nuzzling my shoulder with his nose. "Alice." He whispered in my ear, his voice full of longing, and my heart nearly busted out my chest at how nice my name sounded on his lips at that moment. 

I leaned back a little, my breath itching in my throat when I saw the look in his eyes. I licked my lips, my hand shacking as I stroked his cheek with my fingers. He didn't recoil back this time and instead, leaned into the touch. I stood on the tip of my toes, my lips kissing his. The kiss was soft, chaste even, but it held a promise that I was his. There would never be anyone else I would trust more than him.

He let out a deep grunt when I kissed him again, this time with more passion. My fingers tangled themselves in his hair, my other hand stroking his strong arm. I moaned into the kiss when he licked my bottom lip, his tongue asking for entrance, and I was keen to oblige. He deepened the kiss, one of his hand going to the back of my head while his calloused palm slowly traced the curve of my hip. His touch was soft, like he couldn't believe I was really there. He backed me against the wall, our tongues fighting for dominance and his body pressing me against the hard surface. Heat started pooling between my legs and I groaned when the kiss ended. He leaned his forehead against mine, a small smile on his lips.

"I'm sorry I pushed ya away. I ain't..." He whispered and I placed my finger on his lips, not needing him to finish, understanding what he meant. Daryl never had to take care of no one other than himself, and nobody took care of him either.

The sweet moment was cut short when the sound of glass breaking came from the floor bellow, and we both turned to the door.

"We've got company, gotta go." He said and I reluctantly agreed.

We gathered our weapons and carefully made our way down the stairs. There were voices coming from the kitchen, which was worse than having to deal with a couple of walkers. Daryl motioned me to be silent as we made our way to the front door. The voices were getting closer, we didn't have time to reach the door if we didn't want to face the people that were in the house. He slowly pushed me toward the closet underneath the stairs, getting in behind me and silently closing the door.

We stood there in total silence, pressed against each other in the thight space, waiting for the voices to go away. They were taking their time rummaging around the house, their steps echoing on the floor as they did. I held in my breath when I heard someone get up the stairs, Daryl holding me closer to him as they did. I don't know how long we stayed there, waiting for them to leave but I felt safe as long as he was with me.

"Nothing here." A male voice came from the hall.

"Let's check the one next door." Another voice replied, steps passing dangerously close from us before the front door slammed shut.

A relieved sigh escaped my lips, but we didn't move, wanting to make sure there was no one left before we left our hiding spot. In the dark I felt Daryl reaching for his pocket, before I felt his hand on my wrist. He was putting the bracelet back where it belonged. I smiled, taking his hand when it brushed against mine. He kissed the top of my head, his grip on my waist tightening. We stood like this for a moment before leaving the dark closet, Daryl carefully making sure no one was left before we did.

We left the house, not making any noise, careful not to attract unwanted attention. We made our way back to his bike, hidden a couple of streets away. When it came into view I jogged up to it but Daryl stopped me.

"Wait." He said, taking my hand and pulling me in his arms. "Before we go back... Is it really what ya want? Ya and me?" He asked, his eyes full of doubts as he looked into mine.

I pushed away a strand of hair that was falling in front of his eyes, a small smile gracing my lips as I did. "I do. We don't even need to tell people if you don't want to. We can take thing slow if that's what you want."

He put his arms around my waist, holding me against him. "I ain't use to this."

"I know, that why I suggest we take it slow. People don't need to know. But that doesn't change that I'm yours." I said, kissing his lips.

"Mine." He grunted into the kiss. "I like that." His grip got tighter as he held me possessively against him. He didn't need to tell me he loved me, I could feel it in the way he returned my kiss.

My legs were shaking when we separated, that man was the greatest kisser I had ever met. I knew we needed to put distance between us and the strangers, but I couldn't help being a little disappointed we had to go back already.

'Let's go home b'fore people start to wonder why we ain't back." He said straddling his motorcycle before I sat behind him, my arm wrapping around his waist.

It was almost morning when we made it back to the prison. I was so tired I had trouble keeping my eye opened and Daryl gently guided me inside. He didn't bring me to my cell and instead, pulled me up the stairs to the perch. He laid me in his bed, laying down behind me and pulling me close to him. I smiled to myself, my eyes heavy as his warmth enveloped me, sleep claiming me rapidly.

*****

When I woke up the next morning, the bed was empty. Daryl always woke up early when he wasn't on night watch, and I wasn't surprised he wasn't there anymore. I sat up, stretching my arms and letting a content sigh out, the events of the day before slowly coming back to me. Daryl was finally mine, there was no trying to figure out how he really felt anymore. 

I got down the stairs, my steps light for the first time in a while. I grabbed a granola bar, saying hi to Beth who was feeding Judith in the common area before making my way to the garden. The sun was high in the blue sky and I waved at Carol as I passed the outdoor kitchen, she gave me a questioning look, and I knew she would probably interrogate me later. When I reached the pig pen, I sat on the wooden fence, looking at the pigs and eating my granola bar in silence.

"Alice." Rick's voice almost made me fall down the fence right into the mud that filled the pig pen.

"Hey Rick." I said, shielding my eyes with my hand, so I could look at him under the bright sun.

He leaned on the fence next to me. "Daryl told me about what happened between you two yesterday."

"What did he told you exactly?"

"Well, when Sasha told us you left yesterday, which was dangerous by the way, he told us he was an asshole to you."

"Please tell me not everyone knows exactly why." I said, suddenly shy at the thought.

"Nah, he only told us he acted like an asshole and that you got pissed, but I knew there was something else, he told me before he left to get you. He told me what happened in the town as well." He held up is hand when he saw the surprised look on my face. "He didn't want to say anything at first, but I'm not stupid, I know you slept in his bed yesterday, I didn't give him a choice." He said before looking seriously at me. "Listen Alice you know I love you like a daughter..."

"If you're going to lecture me about him being older or try the bees and the birds speech I swear to god I'm never talking to you again, you can keep that speech for Carl thank you very much."

He laughed, a small smile lifting the corner of his lips. "Nah, that's not it, besides you're way too old for the bird and the bees, aren't you? Seriously, I wanted to say I'm happy for you two. Daryl's a good man, I wouldn't trust anyone else than him to take care of you, you're perfect for each other, everyone can see it." He said, the sincerity of his eyes going straight to my heart. "I would never go against you two being together, that's what I told Daryl this morning, and I wanted you to know too."

I got down from the fence, jumping in his arms. Rick really was all my father never was in my life. I thanked him once again for everything he did for me. Carl walking up to us with Judith in his arms. I kissed the little girl's head, ruffling Carl hair as I did and walked away from them. My heart fluttered in my chest when I saw Merle and Daryl getting their bike ready, probably to go on a hunt.

He couldn't see me yet, but now that my eyes weren't clouded by my confused heart, I could see him in all his glory. He was magnificent, nothing about his rough appearance could ever change my mind about it. Not his ripped jeans, not his dirty leather jacket or his unruly hair, nothing.

"Hey sweetheart." Merle was the first one to notice me approaching, causing Daryl to whip around.

I could feel my cheek heating up when his eyes fell on me. I wasn't usually a shy girl when it came to men stare, I was way too used to them, but something in Daryl's eye made me lose my footing. He took a few long stride toward me, kissing me right in front of his brother. I was surprised, I didn't think he would be ready to tell anyone yet without being forced to, but I returned the kiss eagerly.

"Can't ya two lovebirds get a damn room or somethin'?" Merle said a fake disgusted look on his face before it turned into a smirk.

"Shut up." Daryl and I said at the same time, and I blushed, giving Daryl a questioning look.

"About damn time ya did somethin' 'bout it baby brother. I was 'bout to beat yur ass." Merle said, his signature smirk on his face.

"Don't worry, he ain't sayin' anythin'." He whispered in my ear. "I ain't sharin' that with no one yet."


	16. Scars of our past

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **this chapter is rated 18+**

Weeks were passing by and like we decided that day in the town, Daryl and I were taking things slowly. It hadn't been possible to hide it, our friends catching up to it pretty fast without us saying anything, but we still took it one step at a time. Daryl was showing affection to me in front of other more and more, but we still kept as discrete as we could, which I really liked. I was so used to men only wanting to show me off to others, it made me love him even more to see he wasn't only affectionate to show people I was his.

It was hard getting time alone together, even if I had moved to the perch with him. He was often awake before I was, and we didn't see each other that much during the day. Runs weren't the best time to fool around and there was often other people with us when we were on the same ones. The night was my favorite part of each day, he was always there before I fell asleep. He always held me in his arms, stroking my back as I fell asleep. He never tried anything and I respected it, thinking he needed time before we got that intimate. Since we were together, I had discovered a really shy part of Daryl that made me love him even more, he wasn't like any man I knew before.

That morning I was helping Carol with breakfast before my watch shift. She was telling me about the kids when she nudged my shoulder, motioning for me to look at Daryl who was walking toward us, getting stopped by people on his way. I smiled, shaking my head at how uncomfortable he looked when people thanked him. When he reached us I gave him a kiss, handing him a bowl.

"Just so you know, I liked you first." I winked, causing Carol to burst out laughing next to us. Daryl scoffed, his ears getting red and my smile got wider. I liked that side of him, the one that did everything in a selfless way, not waiting for anyone to say thank you in return.

Carol told him she needed to talk to him before he left for the run he had planned today. She turned to Patrick, a teen who had arrived with another group a couple of weeks ago and asked him to take her place while they talked. Patrick walked up to us like a starstruck teen, his eyes never leaving Daryl as he did. He looked at him with stars and his eyes, thanked him for the venison we had caught the other day and asked him if he could shake his hand. I couldn't keep in my laugh when Daryl licked his fingers clean before he shook the kid's hand. Carol and Daryl walked a little to the side, letting me alone with the kid. 

"I hope I'm going to be like him when I get older." He said. 

I smiled and nodded, not wanting to crush the boy's hope. There was no chance that kid would ever be like Daryl. He was one of those geeky kids with beer bottle glasses that looked like he would break in half if you handled him a little too roughly. There was no way I would be the one to break it to him. He continued telling me about how great Daryl was until Carol and him came back. We said goodbye to them and made our way to were Sasha and the others were loading the truck for the run. 

We always seen each other off before runs, knowing full well they could always go sideways. He never prevented me from going on one, even if I knew he liked it better when I stayed at the prison, he was aware I needed time out as much as he did. Before we reached the others he stopped me, pushing me against the brick wall away from everyone sights, before his lips came crashing on mine. I moaned into the kiss, my hands going to his face, surprised by how fervent he suddenly was. He touched his forehead to mine, a smirk on his face.

"No complaining or anything, but what's up? You seem more affectionate than usual this morning."

"Nothin'." He said, his smirk getting wider. "Just happy that yur goin' to stay here today, to know yur gonna be safe." I kissed him. 

"You be careful out there." I said, a satisfied smile on my lips as I stroked his cheek with my thumb. 

"Imma see you again, Ali." He kissed me again. "Ya know Imma always do whatever it takes to come back to ya."

He kissed my forehead before he joined the others. I walked to the watch tower, a smile on my face, to relieve Merle of watch Duty. 

"Hey sweetheart." He said when I walked in.

"Hey, what's up." I asked, taking his riffle from his hand.

"Apart from it bein' hotter than blue blaze up here, nothin' much." He grinned, getting up from his spot before he said goodbye and left.

I leaned on the railing, watching Merle walk away. When he got out of sight, my eye fell on the team that was cleaning the fences. The walkers seemed to be pilling up more and more lately, not spreading as much as they used to. I was leaning there, wondering what we could do to solve the problem before it got out of hand when from the corner of my eyes, I saw a small group of kids dangerously close to the fences. I dropped my riffle and ran out of the watch tower, getting there just in time to hear Carl tell Lizzie not to name the walkers.

"Have you ever seen one turn? They aren't human anymore." He screamed to her, and she told him she had before trying to leave with the other kids.

"I don't want to see you kids near the fence again." I said, placing myself in their way. "It's dangerous." 

Most of them had a sorry look on their faces as they walked away, but not Lizzie, she looked frustrated by what I had said. She was a weird kid, I had noticed her fascination for walkers and it freaked me out. Naming them was even more concerning, and there was no doubt it was her idea. I'd have to talk to her dad about that next time I would see him before she got herself or another kid in harms way. I watched them walk away before I turned to Carl and Patrick.

"What are you two doing here?" I asked Carl, and he told me they wanted to go help at the gate when they saw the younger kids. I told them they were also too young to be near the fence, but to let me know if they ever saw the young ones that far out again which earned me a frustrated sigh by Carl.

"Listen buddy, you know I love you but I'm gonna have to be the adult right now, try being a kid for once I'm sure you guys can find something else to do that don't involve walkers. What would Rick think about you being near the fences?" He stormed off, not answering my queation, Patrick following behind him. I let out and heavy sigh as I walked back to the watch tower. I hated having to play this game with him, but he needed to act like a kid a little.

*****

That evening I was in bed with Daryl, leaning against his shoulder as he told me about his day. Beth's boyfriend, Zach, didn't make it back from the run. A shelf came down on Bob when he tried to get a bottle of wine from it, the commotion got the attention of the walkers that were on the caved in roof. Walkers poured in, poor kid got bitten trying to get Bob out from under the shelf before a freaking helicopter when through the roof. I listened to his story, thanking god he had made it back once again.

"I'm glad you made it back." I said, looking at him from under my eyelashes.

"Come here." He said pulling me over to his lap. I cupped his face, looking in his eyes before I kissed him softly.

His hand went to my hips, and he leaned his forehead on mine. "Told ya imma do whatever I need to make it back." 

His face was serious as he said it and I kissed him again. His grip on my hips got tighter as our kiss got more heated. His hands felt hot on my skin and I moaned, bringing my body closer to his. I got carried away, I had never wanted someone as much as I wanted him at that moment, and started kissing down his neck and grinding against him, my hand caressing his chest. He groaned and slowly pushed me away.

"Stop." He said, his jaw tight.

"What's wrong? You don't want me?" I asked, suddenly feeling self-conscious in his arms.

"That's not it." He said, his nervousness clearly visible as his eyes darted to mine. I didn't say anything, mentally cursing at myself for what I had just done. I was frozen, still straddling his lap, my eyes fixated on my hands on his muscular chest.

"Ya don't even know how much I want ya." He whispered, lifting my chin so my eyes would meet his. He put his hand on my cheek, his other hand slipping slightly under my shirt. "I just ain't used to this."

"Are you..." I trailed, a surprised look on my face. Was Daryl ever with a woman? Could that handsome man really be a virgin?

He chuckled, having caught on what I was thinking. "Nah, it's just...I ain't never been with someone I care 'bout before. It was almost always some friends of whatever women Merle brought back for the night or whatever...and none of 'em were like ya." He caressed the skin at the small of my back with his thumb. "Ya ain't got no idea how hard it is to control myself 'round ya."

"Daryl...you know I trust you right?" I asked, my eyes searching his. "None of the men I've been ever been with was like you. I know you care about me and that's more than what I could say about any of them."

"Ain't never cared 'bout someone like I care 'bout ya. I don't wanna scare ya or somethin'...ya know after..." He trailed and I cupped his face in my hands.

"Daryl..." I said, looking at him with loving eyes. "There's only one place where I really feel safe, and it's with you." 

I kissed him again, my body humming with desire as his fingers stroked the skin of my hips under my shirt. His hands where shaking, he was unsure of how he was supposed to react. I leaned back, my fingers grabbing the hem of my shirt and I lifted it over my head, throwing it carelessly behind me. I leaned closer to him, my breast pressed against his chest as I bit my bottom lip.

"I want you Daryl." I whispered in his ear, trailing kisses down his neck. "Show me what a real man is." His body stiffened under me, and he let out a groan. 

"Girl yur gonna be the end of me." He said, leaning me back, so he could look at me. His eyes were dark with lust when his lips came crashing down on mine. 

He turned me over, so I would be laying on my back, his fingers tracing my side as he kneeled over me. He peppered my neck and shoulders with feathers light kisses. His fingers reached the waist of the shorts I always wore to bed, his eyes finding mine and silently asking for permission. I nodded, my hand fisting his shirt to bring him closer so I could kiss him. He slid the shorts down my legs, his tongue dancing around with mine as he did. I grabbed the bottom of his shirt, pulling it over his head, his lips only leaving mine to allow me to remove it from his body. 

His skin was warm against mine and I could feel the rough material of his jeans against my legs. His calloused hands were roaming my body, his touch more confident as he could feel my need for him grow. I arched my back when I felt him reaching for the clasp of my bra, allowing him to remove the garment. He leaned back, kneeling over me as his eyes roamed my body in the dim light of the lantern. I felt suddenly shy in only my panties on under his heated gaze, he had never seen me naked.

"Beautiful." He whispered, his fingers tracing the tattoo of a dream catcher on the skin under my breast before going all the way down my body to my thighs.

I shivered, goosebumps erupting on my skin under his fingers. He got up, unbuckling his belt before unbuttoning his jeans, his belt buckle clattering on the floor when he kicked them of. My breath itched in my throat when I saw him standing there in only his boxer, his sweaty skin glistening in the lamp light. I couldn't believe this man was mine. He crawled back on the bed, kissing his way up my body before pulling me in his arms. He kissed me hungrily, his hand roaming all over my body. My breath quickened, heat pooling between my leg as he pulled me even closer to him.

"I must be the luckiest fucker alive." He groaned, the bulge forming in his boxers pressing on my leg. 

He propped himself up on top of me, his hands skimming my side until he reached my breasts. His touch was soft, like he was scared he would break me if he wasn't. He caressed them lightly, his right thumb brushing my nipple before he kissed the other one. He groaned, the sound making his mouth vibrate around the sensitive bud.

"Daryl." I moaned, my fingers running through his hair as my back arched under his soft touch.

He continued caressing my body, his mouth going to my other nipple as he did. I could feel his erection getting even bigger against my thigh, and I couldn't believe how big and hard he was getting. I squirmed under him, my body vibrating with pleasure under his assault. My right hand leaving his hair, so I could trace the V on his stomach. I felt his rod pulsate against my leg under the soft touch, his body tightening over me. His lips left my nipple and found mine, his tongue swirling in my mouth as he expertly caressed my skin.

"Ya sure that's what ya want?" He asked, his lustful eyes making my heart skip a beat as my hand explored his body.

"I don't think I ever wanted it as much as I want you right now." I whispered, my chest heaving as his hand hovered over my core.

He kissed me like a starving man, his hand finally touching me. My breath itched in my throat when his fingers met my clitoris over my panties, circling it slowly. I let out a throaty moan, and he buried his face in my hair, nuzzling my neck as he inhaled deeply. I felt the muscle in his body stiffening when I reached for his dick, softly stroking it over his boxers. I could feel it pulsating under my touch, and he doubled his attack on my little bundle of nerve.

I was shivering from pleasure, my waist moving uncontrollably against his hand. I whimpered when he removed his hand, his fingers grabbing the waist of my underwear and quickly removing them before doing the same to his. His cock sprang up to his stomach and a shy smirk made its way to his lips when he saw the amazed look on my face. There was definitely nothing about this man that wasn't big and strong. He grunted when he trailed his fingers down my slit, noticing how ready I was for him.

He leaned on top me, propped on his forearms on both side of my head, and I bucked my hips when his length connected with my core. He moved his hips up and down, the friction of his rod against my wet lower lips making me shiver in pleasure.

"I love ya Alice." He whispered in my ear when he pressed the tip at my entrance.

"I love you too." I said, my inner walls tightening when I felt his tick head entering me. I winced, he was bigger than any man I ever had sex with. He stayed unmoving for a moment, allowing me to get used to his size.

He kissed me tenderly, slowly pushing himself a little deeper when he felt me relax under him, my back arching when he did. I moaned into his mouth, my body shaking at the sweet sensation. He rocked his hips back and forth, pushing in a little more every time he did until he was all the way in. My nails digged in his shoulders, a wave of pleasure engulfing me. His movements were slow, controlled as he penetrated me. 

"Damn" He grunted and I pushed my hips against his as an answer.

I closed my eyes, letting the feelings wash over me. He was hitting the right spot with every trust of his hips. I bit my lip, trying to keep as quiet as I could. His pace quickened and I could feel my climax coming, my toes curling as I shuddered under the wave of ecstasy that came crashing down on me.

"Daryl." I whimpered, and he quickened his pace even more, his hips slamming against mine as I felt my wall contracting around him. Fireworks erupted in front of my eyes. It had never been that good with anyone else and my body was shaking under his.

He grunted, every muscle in his body hardening and his rod pulsing inside me as he found his own release. He slumped over me, my body still shivering under him. My lips found his once again and I poured my heart and soul into the kiss. He propped himself on his elbow, his fingers pushing the hair away from my face ad I smiled up to him.

"I love ya." He whispered once again, my heart beating hard in my chest as he laid next to me and pulled me against his chest. 

We stayed like this for a few minutes before he kissed the top of my head and sat on the side of the bed with his back to me. My breath hitched in my throat when I saw the thick scars running across his back. I knew he had a rough childhood like me, but I didn't know his had left actual scars as a reminder.

I kneeled on the bed behind him, my fingers softly running along the biggest one across his back. He recoiled under my touch, quickly grabbing his shirt next to him on the bed. I wrapped my arms around his broad shoulders, my still naked chest pressing against his back.

"Please...don't hide from me." I whispered, sadness evident in my voice.

His shoulder slumped and his head tilted forward as he looked at the ground in shame. It broke my heart to see him like this.

"I'm sorry." He said, letting a frustrated sigh out. He got up, pacing around in front of me. "I didn't want ya findin' out like this, I know they're damn ugly."

I pulled him back in the bed, positioning myself, so he wouldn't have a choice to look at me. "Daryl...I don't care about that. I love you. Your past won't change anything like mine didn't change anything for you." I said with a sad smile on my face.

He bit his lip, hurt flashing in his blue eyes at the memories. "I know." He said, his voice cracking as I pulled him down in my arms. 

He buried his face in my neck and I ran my finger through his hair. I didn't say anything, I just kept holding him in my arms. He didn't need to say anything. I knew enough about his childhood to know his dad did this to him. The both of us had been broken way before the world ended, and we fell asleep in each other's arms, both hoping we could piece ourselves back together with each other's help.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So hope you like this chapter, I know it is pretty soft but with Alice's past that is exactly the way I wanted it to happen. Stay with me next time will be way hotter 😉


	17. Infected

The next morning I woke up and Daryl was still holding me, one of his arms was around my waist and the other one under my head. His breath was even and I turned around slowly, expecting him to still be asleep, only to be greeted by his bright blue eyes.

"Mornin' beautiful." He smirked. "I was 'bout to wake ya up b'fore I left."

"Hum, morning." I said, rubbing the sleep from my eyes before I kissed him. 

He kissed me back softly before he leaned back, his gorgeous face suddenly serious. "I'm sorry 'bout yesterday. I didn't wanna push ya away after..." He started before I shut him up with another kiss.

"You don't have to be scared of looking weak in front of me Daryl. I love you, nothing is going to change that." I ran my fingers through his hair, the tension that was present in his face a few seconds ago slowly melting as I did. I smiled, I loved seeing him relaxed, he was always so tense.

"We should get up." He said and I groaned, I wished we could stay in this bubble forever, maybe even have a replay of last night.

We both got up to get dressed, me with way less motivation than him. He did a quick job of putting on his distress jeans and sleeveless shirt and then sat down to put on his boots. I put clean underwear on and was still struggling with the zipper of my skinny jeans when he pulled me against his chest.

"Keep wigglin' like that, and we ain't goin' nowhere." He smirked, his arms around my waist.

"Don't make promise you won't keep." I smirked before playfully slapping his chest, taking a few steps and grabbing my tank top of the floor. 

Once I was dressed, I deliberately made sure to wiggle my ass as much as I could while tying my combat boot, shooting a wink over my shoulder to Daryl that was watching me, leaning against the wall next to the door. He huffed and mumbled something I didn't understand and I laughed, tucking my gun in my waist band. I fastened the strap of my knife holster and walked to him, a surprised squeal leaving my mouth when he grabbed me and threw me over his shoulder. I tried to get him to let me down, but he laughed, grabbing his crossbow that was next to the door. This man's laugh was the most beautiful sound I ever heard and I made the promise to myself to make him laugh more while he walked out the door, me still on his shoulder.

Merle got out of his cell as we got down the stairs, a grin appearing on his face when he saw us. "Goin' full cave man baby brother?" He snickered and Daryl put me down with a smirk on his face.

He didn't have time to say anything before we heard a gun shot coming from somewhere in the prison. The smile on our faces fell and the three of us ran out, only to see Lizzie and Mika screaming for someone help. We didn't think twice, and we all went inside, quickly followed by others. 

The scene inside made my stomach churn, people where running everywhere, a couple of walkers feasting on people here and there. I took my knife out, not wanting to shoot someone accidentally in the chaos that was around us. There were a lot of kids in this bloc, I stabbed a walker that was dangerously close to a little boy, taking him in my arms. I looked around and passed him to Karen that was in a cell behind me. Rick, Glenn and Sasha where close by, all fighting their way in the cell bloc, trying to bring as much people to safety as possible as they went. I turned looking to my right just in time to see Merle stub knife going through the head of a walker that was reaching for me. I nodded to him, grabbing my knife thighter and stabbing another one on my left. 

Once every living person was safe, we went around making sure no one would reanimate. I made my way to a dead man that was starting to stir on the floor. His stomach was open, his intestines laying everywhere around him. I kneeled down, blood soaking my jeans as I buried my knife in his temple before he could get up. I felt something grabbing my arms before its whole weight came crashing down on me. I struggled to keep its mouth as far from me as possible, my fingers slipping on its bloody skin. Blood was dripping from his mouth and eyes, covering me as it snapped its jaw inches away from my arm. I froze when I realized who it was, the walker struggling on top of me was Patrick. My ears rang as he snarled, an arrow piercing his skull before he became limp on top of me, pinning me under his weight. I felt it being lifted from me, Hershel grabbing my arms and getting me up.

I looked around, Daryl was making his way toward me as I kneeled to examine Patrick dead body on the floor. Like Randall at the farm, he didn't look like he had been bitten. Daryl finally made it to me, pulling me to him when he did.

"Ya good?" He asked, checking me for bites and scratches. I nodded, not having time to reply anything more before Rick called us from further away.

We found him in front of the only walker that was left, locked in a cell. Like Patrick, his eyes, mouth and ears looked like they were leaking blood. Rick stabbed him through the bars, opening the door once it was down.

"Charlie used to sleepwalk, locked himself up every night." Daryl said.

Rick, Hershel and Doctor Caleb kneeled around him, inspecting the body. He hadn't been bitten either, and I asked how he could have just died in his sleep when he looked perfectly fine yesterday. Rick said he saw a walker with the same bleeding orifice yesterday, and proposed it could be a sickness from the walkers. Doctor Caleb started explaining to us that he already saw this before, way before the apocalypse. I buried my face in Daryl chest when they started talking about drowning in your own blood, the thought of it making me shudder. Apparently this type of flu could easily be spread to human by animals, and could be highly contagious in close quarter like the prison. Rick mentioned one of the pigs dying, confirming Hershel's suspicion.

We called a council meeting, the six of us having to take a decision about which way to handle the situation. If the flu was as contagious as Doctor Caleb and Hershel said, we needed to separate the people that could be infected from the others. There were kids and elderly people, they were a risk if we didn't act and fast.

"Patrick was fine yesterday, and he died overnight." Carol said, adding we needed to find everyone that could have been in contact.

Daryl mentioned that meant everyone in cell block D and all of us, probably even more. Hershel said that we at least needed to isolate the one that present symptoms. Carol mentioned that we couldn't just wait and see who looked sick.

"Where do we put them?" I asked, crossing my arms on my chest.

"Can't keep them in bloc D." Hershel said. "We can't take the chance of cleaning it out."

"What about cell bloc A?" Carol proposed.

"Death row? That's not much of an upgrade." Glenn said.

"It's clean." Daryl said, biting his lip. "Seems like an upgrade to me." 

"Would that work for Doctor S you think?" I asked.

Hershel was saying that he would help him get set up when a cough caught our attention in the corridor. We all got up, finding Tyreese holding a coughing Karen in his arms. He was bringing her to his cell to get some rest, and there was no way I was letting her in the block Carl and Judith slept every night while she coughed like that. I waited, body tense as Hershel explained to them about the flu, Tyresse strongly against putting Karen in isolation until Sasha convinced him. My shoulders relaxed when she agreed to go to the tomb until we got bloc A ready for the sick, and she told us about another man that was also coughing.

Sasha and Glenn escorted her and went to get David. I let out a low sigh, massaging my temple as I leaned against the wall, a headache forming at the thought of how though the next days were going to be. Thing were going great before Patrick died and caused more than half of his cell bloc death, and now we had to deal with a sickness we were in no way prepared to fight.

"Imma go bury the deads." Daryl said and I made a step toward him, nodding. There was no way I was letting him do it on his own, I knew him enough to know he would get in a foul mood if he had time alone to think about how many we lost.

"You make sure to wear a mask and gloves." Hershel said before he followed Glenn and Sasha.

We were about to leave when Carol stopped us. "You guys are ok?" She asked and I simply nodded.

"Gotta be." Daryl replied, grabbing my hand and squeezing it.

"You? Are you okay?" I asked her, knowing that even if she tried to hide it Carol always had problem dealing with the loss we suffered.

Carol gave us a sad smile, and we left, knowing there was a going to be a lot of shoveling to do with everyone we had to bury. We already had two done when Rick came to help us, asking what the council decided.

"You shouldn't trouble yourself with this Rick, you've done enough for us already, you worry about Judith and Carl, we'll handle the rest." I said wiping the sweat covering my forehead with the bottom of my dirty tank top.

"She's right, ya earned the right to let someone else take the decisions." Daryl agreed with me.

A scream coming from the fence made us all turn toward it, cutting our conversation short. Walkers were once again pilling up on the fence and it looked like it was about to give up. I dropped my shovel, running toward it as fast as my legs would let me, Rick and Daryl following me closely. Others had heard it as well and were coming to help when I started stabbing walkers through the fence. I took a side step and my foot slipped on something.

"What the fuck?" I said, my eyes leaving the fence for a moment to look at what I had just stepped on.

My stomach dropped, there in front of my foot were rats left over. "Guys, look at that."

If someone was feeding the walkers, there was no doubt as to why they weren't spreading around the perimeter anymore. Like any animals, walkers still had some kind of instinct and if it was often enough, they would gather to the food, bringing more in with the noise they would do. This discovery left everyone baffled, and we quickly realized we wouldn't be able to get rid of that many before the fence gave up.

Rick screamed at Daryl to go get the truck, and he ran to the pig pen. I knew immediately what he was going to do, he was going to use them as bait to lure the walkers away. They managed to do it, just in time before the fence bent. Once it was finally done, I collapsed on the floor, wiping the blood from my hands and arms. After all the good days we had, life definitely came back to bite us in the ass, and I was so tired with everything that happened. 

Daryl walked to me, extending his arm. "Ya good?"

"Gotta be right?" I replied with a tired smile, grabbing his hand and allowing him to pull me back to my feet.

*****

Tyresse found the burned body of Karen and David yesterday after the fences. Someone burned their body to try and stop the infection. He freaked out, and him and Rick got into an ugly fight. I woke up in the middle of the night to nightmares about it, only in my dreams it wasn't Karen that was burned on the ground, it was me. I watched Daryl and Rick, two of the most important man in my life fighting, without being able to do anything about it. When I woke up my body felt like it was burning up, and I was covered in sweat, Daryl shirt clinging to my body. My chest was heaving under my labored breaths. I sat up, trying to catch my breath but couldn't, a low rasp leaving my throat every time I exhaled. 

Daryl stirred next to me. "Alice? Are ya okay?" He asked, sitting up quickly when I didn't answer. Trying in vain to convince my lungs to take more air in.

I tried standing up, collapsing next to the bed before my feet even touched the floor. Daryl jumped over the bed, kneeling next to me. He removed the hair that were sticking to the sweat on my forehead, his hand going to my cheek.

"Yur burnin' up." He said, worry evident in his face. Even in the dark room I could tell he was biting his bottom lip.

"Don't touch me, I don't want you to get sick." I tried pushing him away, but he grunted, taking me in his arms. "Daryl no. If there is a chance you didn't get it..." I couldn't finish before I got into a coughing fit.

"Dixon don't get sick." He simply said, propping me up against his chest.

He ran out of the perch with me in his arms, kicking violently on Merle's door when he passed it. His brother got out, a grumpy look on his face until he saw my limp body in Daryl arms. 

"Go tell Doctor S Ali's sick, Imma brin' her in. GO!" He screamed and Merle simply nodded before he took off. 

I grabbed his shirt when another coughing fit racked my body, whispering to him that I loved him between raspy breath. His face fell, and he stopped running for a second, looking straight in my eyes. "Yur not dyin', I ain't lettin' ya." 

He rushed me to bloc A, Dr Caleb already waiting for me in front of the door with Merle when we got there. He stopped Daryl from going in, things were already bad enough, and we didn't need more sick people. He cursed, kissing my forehead and whispering that he loved me before putting me down. Merle gave him a pat on the back and I squeezed his hand, taking a few shaky steps toward Doctor S. I watched Daryl walk away, clearly pissed that he had to leave me behind and my shoulder slumped at the though it might be the last time I would see him.

We went into the isolation bloc and Doctor S walked me to a cell, giving me tablets that he said would at least help with the fever before letting me get some rest. When I woke up a couple of hours later I felt a little better, but I was still really weak. I got up, realizing I was only wearing Daryl shirt and I let out a thankful sigh when I saw the folded jeans on the dresser. The Dixon brothers really had a habit of running me around half naked in their shirts.

Glenn came in right after I put the jeans on and I found out that him and Sasha also got sick. The both of them were trying to help Hershel and Doctor Caleb as much as they could with the patients. He gave me some type of tea, telling me to drink it before leaving my cell. I emptied the content of the cup, frowning at the taste before I shuffled to the cell Doctor Caleb was in. I found him coughing as he tried to make saline drip to help the worst off patient stay hydrated.

"Why don't you show me how to do it." I said in a low voice. "That way you can go and help people instead of being stuck here." 

He nodded, quickly showing me how to do it before he left. I settled on working with my shaking hands, each breath I took a struggle as I tried to concentrate on what I was doing instead of how shitty I felt. I couldn't even say how long I had been doing it when Hershel came in to ask me for help putting someone down, saying he couldn't do it. I put my hand on his shoulder, giving him an understanding look. The old man was struggling to put down people he knew, and he gave me a thankful nod. I followed him, stabbing the dead man in the head when I got next to him. 

Hershel left for a while, and I shuffled away only taking two steps before I had to sit down. My head was spinning and my vision was blurry. When Hershel came back, he had two shotguns in his hands. Doctor Caleb was apparently dead and people were falling like flies.

"Crap. That bad already?" I said, letting a raspy sigh out.

"We need to close all the cells before we lose control of the situation." He said, handing me one of the shotguns.

I grabbed it and got up, running on my unstable legs right behind the old man. I was in such a bad shape that even a one legged Hershel was going faster than I was. I helped Sasha put a dead body on a gurney to dispose of him somewhere not everyone would see, and she collapsed. I kneeled next to her, giving her a few sips of water after I noticed how dry her lips were. She coughed a little, drinking the water slowly.

"Your mama never told you that you need to drink water when you're sick?" I asked her and she let out a sigh. 

A snarl in a cell to our left got my attention and I turned just in time to see a female walker stumbling out of it. I cursed under my breath, helping Sasha up before I shot the walker in the head. I hated shotguns, they were effective but dammit they made such a mess. Only one walker down, and I was already covered in blood and brain pieces, I wished I had my gun. A high-pitched scream coming from further away caught my attention and I looked at Sasha, who was catching her breath next to the stairs, making sure she would be okay before I made my way up toward the sound. Once I was sure she would survive her coughing fit, I got up the stairs two by two, ignoring my body's pleading me to slow down. 

I found Lizzie followed by a walker, trying to lure it away from Hershel who was struggling with another one on the floor. "Fuck." I muttered, knowing I would need to act and fast before more people died. I closed the door to a cell, not wanting the walker in it to crash my party before I shot the one that was following Lizzie, screaming at her as loud as I could to hide before I turned to Hershel. 

"What the hell are you doing?" I said. 

"We need the respirator for Glenn." He said, pointing at the respirator in the walker mouth. 

He was about to add something when the walker's head exploded, Maggie standing further away with her pistol raised. Hershel quickly took the respirator out of its throat and threw it to me. I ran to Maggie, Hershel following behind us after he managed to get up. I stood next to them as they intubated Glenn, watching in horror as blood poured out of his mouth with each breath he took.

Once Glenn was safe I went to find Sasha, finding her stabbing a walker through some cell bars. She threw me a knife and I helped her clear the bloc, the both of us collapsing on the floor once we finally did. I leaned to the wall, my head pounding when the adrenaline went down.

"I feel like shit." She said and I laughed, the action making me wince in pain.

"We both look like it too." I said, looking down at my blood covered clothes.

A small smile graced her lips, and we both giggled bitterly, my throat on fire as the sound escaped my lips. My eyes were heavy now that the adrenaline rush was gone, and I was sure I was hallucinating when, from my spot on the floor I saw the door to the outside open, Daryl coming in with a bandana over his mouth. "I love you." I whispered before I lost consciousness.


	18. What we called home

I woke up the next morning feeling slightly less shitty than the day before. The smell enveloping me told me I was back in my bed in the perch, the smell of pine trees and cigarette smoke unmistakable. As soon as I opened my eyes, Daryl was kneeling on the floor next to our bed. I smiled, my hand trying to smooth the creases in his forehead as he looked me over. 

"Ya feelin' better?" He asked, his hand cupping my face.

"Yeah...you did this?" I asked, and he nodded, adding that Bob, Tyreese and Michonne helped find the medicine.

"I though I would lose ya." He said, the creases in his forehead coming back.

"I ain't no bitch." I replied mimicking his favorite answer, and he smirked, his shoulders visibly relaxing when he noticed that I had my attitude back. Snarky comments meant I felt better, me acting like a pissed off teenager was as normal as it could get.

I sat up, every joint in my body protesting the movement but my lungs didn't feel like they would burst anymore. I left the bed, Daryl trying to keep me in but failing miserably. No one stands between me and a shower when I look like I did at that moment. I could feel the blood still caking my hair and I won't even mention the smell.

"If I don't get a shower in the next fifteen minutes I'm adding you to the body count." He raised and eyebrow, shaking his head.

"Glad to have ya back Ali." He said with an amused smirk on his face.

He helped me get to the shower, helping me get undressed and stepping under the stream before he let me shower alone. It hadn't felt that nice since that faithful day when I woke up at Hershel's farm. They had tried to clean me up a little before putting me to bed, but they had done a shitty job. The water that fell down my body was a reddish brown color. I washed my hair, roughly rubbing my scalp in an attempt to get rid of all the gore in them before I did the same to my skin. When I saw my reflection in the mirror afterward, I was satisfied with how not too shitty I looked. My skin was still a little grayish and my green eyes were red but I didn't look as tired as I thought. All an all, considering how I felt the day before, it wasn't too bad. I towel dried my hair, letting them down my shoulders and put on my signature jeans and loose tank top.

I felt so much better after getting cleaned up. I walked back bare foot to the room, putting on my boot under Daryl discouraged look. I don't know why he thought he would keep me in bed all day, he would have reacted the same if he was the one recovering from the flu.

"Whatcha think yur doin'." He asked when I strapped my knife on my leg.

"Going for a stroll." I said with a cocky grin on my face. "Come on, fresh air won't kill me."

He rolled his eyes when I shoved my gun in my waist band, making a comment about not needing an arsenal to go for a walk. I shrugged and stuck my tongue out at him before I got down the stairs and out the door to the yard. I took in a big breath, the fresh air feeling nice in my sore lungs. I didn't want to say it out loud, but I was sure I would die in bloc A. To know I once again escaped death was a little baffling. My guardian angel must really hate me for making him work all those extra hours.

Daryl got out not long after me, grabbing me from behind, his arms around my waist. I leaned back on his chest, a content sigh escaping me. He kissed my temple, his grip becoming a little tighter, there was no doubt he thought the same thing I did. I was about to say something when an explosion echoed, making the ground around us shake. We ran to the front of the prison, my heart constricting in my chest when I saw the vehicles lined up in front of the gate and one of the watch tower on fire. There was a freaking tank, the Governor standing on top of it. I stood next to Maggie, the same horrified on the face of everyone present. Rick quickly joined us, his face falling when he saw who was knocking on our doors. 

Daryl stance next to me was tight, and I knew he was planning something. I had no idea what, but I knew he wouldn't go if I didn't tell him I was fine with him leaving. I grabbed his hand, squeezing it before whispering to him to go. He gave me an uncertain look, squeezing my hand back. 

"I love you, be careful." I told him, and he nodded, a resolved look on his face.

"I love ya....Imma see ya again." He said, giving me one last kiss that didn't last nearly long enough before he took off, my guts constricting as I watched him run away.

I stood tall next to my friends as we waited to see what would happen. I didn't know where everyone was, only Maggie, Beth and Rick were standing next to me and it killed me not to know. Every cell in my body screamed at me that something would go very wrong today. It always did when the Governor was involved.

The Governor asked Rick to have a chat. Rick tried telling him he didn't make the decision anymore, that we had a council now. No matter what he said, the Governor wasn't having it, he insisted Rick would be the one to take the decision today. What happened next made my heart stop. He motioned to one of his man who dragged a tied up Hershel out of a truck, Michonne following close behind. He wasn't giving Rick a choice.

While Rick walked to him, Daryl came back with riffles in his hand, giving one to each of us before leaving again. My grip on my riffle tightened when the asshole screamed he needed the prison. More of our group where gathering around us, all armed thanks to the man I loved. We couldn't hear half of what Rick and the Governor were saying, but jugging by Rick's body language and the bits and pieces, it wasn't good. I grabbed Maggie's hand when the governor stood next to Hershel, Michonne's katana in his hand.

All hell broke loose after that. Time slowed down when the Governor lifted the sword, bringing it down on Hershel's neck. Maggie and Beth's sobs rang in my ears as both side started firing. The tank went directly for the fence, bringing it down like it was made of playing cards. We wouldn't go down without a fight and the prospect of loosing more people scared the shit out of me. We all got separated, running in all direction when the tank fired directly at us. Dust and pieces flew everywhere, and I could see walkers getting out of the woods, the noise attracting them. We would be over ran in no time thanks to that selfish prick that called himself the Governor.

I saw Rick exchanging punchs with the Governor near the gates, and my thought directly went to Carl and Judith. I needed to find them. I ran toward the back of the cell bloc, shooting back at everyone I could get a good shot on as I did. It was chaos. It surprised me that I didn't feel any guilt at doing it, realizing I had changed more than I thought. I didn't care about violence anymore, not when it meant saving the life of the people I cared about.

I ran to the bus we kept ready in case of emergency, knowing the kids were supposed to be on it, but got there just in time to see it leaving. Walkers were pouring in every direction. I couldn't see anyone any more through the dust that filled the air. I coughed, my lung were on fire after all the running I did. Damn that flu, it really had made a number on me.

I stood there trying to catch my breath, jumping back when someone grabbed my shoulder. I lunged, my knife stopping barely an inch away from Merle' forehead. He was standing there with his hand raised, my backpack on his shoulder.

"We need to find Daryl." I screamed at him on top of the surrounding noise.

"Nah sweetheart, we need to go." He said a sad look on his face as he grabbed my arms.

Dread filled my stomach, I didn't want to leave Daryl behind. Hell I didn't want to leave anyone behind. He tried to get me to follow him. I ripped my arm from his grip, slapping his hand when he reached for me again, a mad scold on my face. I looked around, but I couldn't spot anyone through the cloud of dust surrounding us. It was a war zone, the fences were down, walkers were coming in every direction and holes were littering the walls of what we used to call home. The cat walk exploded behind us, and tears fell down from my eyes when I realized Merle was right. We needed to go. He grabbed my arms, dragging me successfully behind him as he ran to the wood.

*****

We stopped to make camp when the sun got low in the sky, and we were far enough from the prison. I collapsed to the ground sobs racking my body. Merle stood uncomfortably beside me, like he did every single time I became an emotional mess. He lit a fire while I tried to calm down, telling me to get some rest while he kept watch when I finally managed to get it back together. I propped myself up on my bag, Merle sitting on the other side of the fire as I tried to get some sleep.

I tossed and turned, not able to close my eyes without seeing one of my friends die. In the chaos I wasn't sure of who managed to get out safely. I sat up with a frustrated sigh, rubbing my face with my hand. Merle was sitting with his elbow propped on his knee, a scowl on his face as he watched the fire.

"Ya good sweetheart?" He asked, his eyes leaving the fire and falling on me.

"You really have to ask?" I snapped, swallowing back the bile that was rising in my throat. "We lost everything, we don't even know who's still alive. How can you ask if I'm okay? For all we know they're all dead. Daryl might be..." I couldn't finish my sentence, the thought of Daryl being dead too painful to say out loud.

"He ain't dead. Ain't nothin' to kill a Dixon but a Dixon." He said, not phased one bit by my outburst. I guess he got used to it, like the Dixon brothers I had the habit of loosing it when I wasn't in control of what was happening to me. "He's gonna find us, ain't no reason to get yur knickers in a knot."

"How can you be so sure?" I asked, my voice shaking as tears threatened to fall from my eyes once again.

"B'cause I know my baby brother." He sighed, getting up and plopping down next to me, wrapping his good arm around my shoulder. "He ain't goin' down that easy."

"Why did you came for me?" I asked. "I mean, there was no way for you to know I was still alive, why risk getting killed?" 

He looked down at me. "B'cause yur family, that's what we do right?" He said with a sad smile on his face, repeating what I had told him when he went after the governor and got shot. "Now sleep."

"Thank you, Merle." I whispered, leaning my head on his shoulder. He squeezed me, my eyes growing heavy as exhaustion finally got me. 

When I woke up the next morning, he wasn't there anymore. I panicked for a second, my body relaxing when I saw him coming out with two squirrel in his hand. He sat down, skinning them and preparing them for breakfast. I got up to use the bathroom, Merle warning me not to go to far. When I came back the squirrel were almost ready, and we ate in a hurry once they were. We both knew we needed to get back on the road if we wanted to find anyone before they got too far away.

We made our way through the wood, Merle weirdly silent compared to what he usually was. We occasionally crossed walkers on our path, putting them down every time after making sure it wasn't someone from our group. There wasn't any signs of someone passing through, and I was starting to fear the others were in another direction.

Later in the day we found a cabin, a shiver going down my spine when Merle suggested we spent the night there. I reluctantly agreed, knowing every night we spent out there was a risk. The old hunting shack was empty, dust layering every surface. It was a small three rooms cabin and everything seemed untouched, it felt like we had stepped in a time capsule. Even the pantry was surprisingly well stocked with water and food. Merle lit a fire in the fireplace while I rummaged through the canned good, putting some in a duffle bag I found while I decided what to do for diner.

"Pasta good for you?" I asked, taking a jar of sauce and a bag of spaghetti on the top shelf. He nodded, still rummaging around the cabin.

I turned on the gas stove and settled on making diner, trying to calm down my nerves. I was hoping Daryl wasn't in a bad situation. Merle and I were lucky, we were both uninjured and I hoped he was alright too. I absentmindedly stirred the content of the pot, not able to get my mind off of him. I silently prayed everyone was fine, but a part of me kept thinking there was no way everyone was. When it was ready we sat down at the table with our food, the normality of the action feeling weird. I was like before the apocalypse, like we hadn't lost everything yesterday.

We both plopped down on the couch in front of the fire after we ate. Merle removed his boots and lifted his foot on the coffee table in front of it. I sat next to him, my chin on my knees as I watched the fire burning. The moon was shinning through the dirty window, the only sound filling the little cabin the cracking of the burning wood.

"Can I ask ya somethin'?" He asked and I raised my eyebrow.

"You already did." I smirked sitting criss-cross on the couch and turning to face him.

"Ya really love my brother don't ya sweetheart?" He asked.

"I do, more than I ever loved anyone." I replied, a sad smile on my face.

"Ya know, I ain't never believed in that shit, until I saw the two of ya together. I ain't never seen my lil brother look at somebody like he look at ya." He said with a serious look on his face. "At first I thought it was b'cause of yur looks...yur real easy on the eyes."

"Hum, thank I guess." I said, shifting uncomfortably in my spot. 

"Then ya went and saved my damn life...that's when I knew there was somethin' more to ya than yur looks. Pretty girls like ya, they're usually disgusted by us, but ya didn't give a shit." He said and for a moment I saw sadness in his eyes. 

I looked down, not able to maintain his stare, his eyes reminding me too much of Daryl's. His voice caught in his throat when he continued. "Dixon ain't a good family name were we come from, redneck assholes ain't deservin' of love if ya believe people. It was always just my little brother and me after our old man died."

"I don't care what people look like, actions speak louder than anything. I know men that look real classy but are the worst shit you can find." I said with a frown. "People can think whatever they want, it's their loss." I understood now why Daryl thought he wasn't good enough for me. That's what they had been told all their life, that they simply weren't good enough.

"I'm glad he found ya sweetheart." He said, slapping my thigh softly.

"I'm glad I found him too, I just wished we had more time." I said swallowing back my tears, playing with the little silver cross on my necklace.

"He'll find us. I know my little brother, he ain't stoppin' until he finds ya." He said, giving me a reassuring smile. We didn't say a lot after that, the both of us lost in thought.

The more time I spent with Merle, the more I saw that there was more to him than the redneck that didn't care for anybody he showed everyone. I knew the world wasn't kind to them and that it affected Daryl, I just never thought it had affected Merle as well. The eldest Dixon was excellent at hiding how he really felt. I could see he was as affected by losing the prison as I was, he just didn't have the same way of showing it. I was way too young to have developed a shell as hard as the Dixon brothers. I was glad to have him with me instead of being alone, and every inch of me hoped he was right about Daryl looking for us. I fell asleep on the couch next to him, my dreams bringing me back in Daryl's arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter will be the last time I'll update on awednesday. I will keep on updating on sunday but since my 6 years old started school again it's hard to keep writing as much as I would like to between my work and homework lunches and everything. I want to be able to put enough time on chapters before posting them and keep putting quality first.
> 
> Thank you all for reading 💜


	19. Claimed

The next afternoon we crossed a town and decided to try to scavenge and find shelter for the night there. We were casually strolling down the streets, Merle talking about one time Daryl was almost stabbed my a drug dealer they were drinking with, finding it way to funny for how fucked up his story was. We had just turned a corner when he pushed me in the bushes, jumping in right behind me. I cursed, his hand coming straight to my mouth, his stub knife in front of his mouth in a shushing looking motion. 

I raised an eyebrow, looking at where he pointed across the street. The blood in my veins froze. There was a man coming out the door of the house across the street. He looked like bad news. He sat on the railing, obvious to us, and began eating out of a can. Gunshot echoed, the man cursing before he went back inside. Suddenly the town didn't look like a good idea anymore. From the sound of it, there was at least four guys in there and I wasn't really feeling up to meeting new people. Even if I was with Merle, I had a feeling that things would go south if we crossed them.

Movement on the side of the house caught my attention and I slapped Merle's shoulder, my eyes wide. He raised an eyebrow in question, his eyes widening as well when he saw the same thing I did. Rick, Michonne and Carl were running behind the house. We ran after them, being careful not to be spotted by the man as we did. When we were finally out of sight, we darted across the street. A tearful smile lighted my face when we turned the corner of the house they were behind. The three of them froze when they saw us coming in full speed. Well, I was running full speed to them, Merle was more like barely keeping up behind me. 

Rick and Michonne raised their weapon at us and I stopped running, dropping my machete in the grass and raising my hand in the air. Carl was the first to recognize us, dropping everything and running toward me. I opened my arms, his body colliding with mine and tackling me to the ground. He hugged me tighter than I even thought he was capable. That kid was growing so fast, soon he would be taller and stronger than me. I laughed, hugging back the boy in my arms. His grip was so tight it was hard to breath. Michonne was laughing, looking at Carl and I with a wide smile.

"I missed you too buddy, but I need to breath." I wheezed, tapping his back. He let go of me and I leaned back on my arms, trying to catch my breath. "Dammit kid what have they been feeding you? Steroids?"

"Crazy cheese." Michonne said, bursting out laughing, Carl laughing as well at the inside joke.

I got up, shaking off the grass from my jeans before I turned to Rick, smile wide on my face. He rubbed his hand down his face, tears of joy falling down his furry cheeks. He took a few quick steps toward me, pulling me in a fatherly embrace. 

"Alice...you're okay!" He stepped back, cupping my face and looking me over to make sure I was really there. "I was sure you died, you were so close to where the tank shot first...I was sure..."

"I'm okay, I'm okay. Where...where is Judith?" I asked, suddenly remembering the little girl. I had been so happy to see the three of them I had almost forgotten about her. He shook his head, his eyes falling to the ground.

"We don't know, but it doesn't look good." Carl said with a shaky voice taking a step toward his father and I. "We found her car seat. It was full of blood."

I pulled Carl closer to Rick and I, the three of us crying in each other arms. I told them someone probably took her, trying to convince myself as much as them that she was safe. We all needed some hope. They may think she was dead but I wouldn't believe she was until someone told me they saw it with their own eyes. When he finaly let us go, Rick asked me how I got out.

"Merle dragged me out kicking and screaming." I said pointing at the uncomfortable looking redneck behind me. Merle didn't like public display of affection, neither did he like receiving praise. Another thing he shared with Daryl, I seemed to be the only one escaping that rule. "I would have looked for every single one of you if it wasn't for him."

Rick looked at Merle, nodding gratefully. "Thank you, Merle."

Merle shifted from one side to the other, biting his lips. "Ain't nothin' to thank me for. She's family." 

"Well after what you did, you're family too." Rick said, taking a step toward him and reaching out. The two of them shook hands, a silent exchange taking place between them. 

"I don't want to ruin the party." Michonne said. "But we should get out of here."

We all agreed with her, picking up our weapons from the ground and getting on our way. I felt lighter as we walked out of the small town, falling in step next to Carl. I missed the kid, I was happy to see he was alright. We decided we would follow the train tracks that went through the woods, it would help us keep our direction easily. We would also see walkers coming from far away which would give us a good advantage. Rick told us more about the men that were in the house, how he needed to kill one of them, so he could get out. Merle and I exchanged a side glance, good thing he saw them before they saw us. We continued in silence, putting as much distance between the gang and us as we could. We were almost out of town when I noticed a lone wagon on the tracks, at the edge of the wood. A big ass sign on it said;

"Sanctuary for all. Community for all. Those who arrive, survive. Terminus."

"Did you guy seen others signs like this before?" I asked Rick and Michonne, pointing at it. 

"No, we didn't." Rick replied, his hands on his hips as he watched the sign.

"What do you guys think?" Michonne asked, raising and eyebrow.

"I think we have nothing else to lose. We could check out the place real fast, they don't even need to know we're there." I replied, tapping my finger pensively on my lips.

Rick looked around. "Okay, let's go." He nodded, Merle doing the same thing, and we got on our way. We followed the direction the map under the sign pointed, crossing more signs like it on our way. Carl and I raced on the tracks, it had been a long time since I've had fun like this. Being twenty three was damn old in the apocalypse, and I hadn't taken the time to allow myself to live a little in a while.

*****

I was sitting inside the beaten up SUV that would be our room for the night with Carl. Rick and Michonne were sitting outside in front of it, by a small campfire. Merle was gone I don't know were, saying he would try to catch something to eat. He didn't want me coming with him, saying I needed the sleep more than he did. It made me queasy not being with him. I was happy to have found the others, but I couldn't bring myself to think I could lose him like we lost everybody else. I leaned my seat back with a sigh, looking at the stars in the sky.

"You think they are still alive? The others, you think they got out?" Carl asked.

I let out another long sigh, turning to look at him. "I don't know buddy, but I like to think they did. Maybe they're all going to terminus as well." I grabbed his hand, squeezing it. I wasn't sure it was true, but I really hoped I was right.

"What about Daryl?" He said and I felt my stomach turn.

"He's the strongest of all of us." I said my voice catching in my throat. 

Carl was about to say something when a face appeared in the window next to him. The crazy looking man knocked on the glass, making both of us jump. I looked up, dread filling me when I saw what was happening. The man from the town earlier had a gun to Rick's head and another man had Michonne in his line of sight. Someone opened my door, roughly dragging me out of the car and pulling me against him. I squirmed, trying in vain to get out of his grip.

"Look what I found." The man holding me said, grabbing my hair and forcing me to kneel on the ground. A shiver ran down my spine when he laughed. There was no doubt what those men had in mind.

"They had another one hiding in the woods." Said another man, pushing Merle out of the wood with his hands in the air, a riffle pointed between his shoulder blades. He looked at me, rage evident in his face when he saw my predicament, before the man behind him forced him to the ground.

The man holding Rick at gunpoint smirked, looking down at him. "Look like we have an audience boys! Now who's gonna count for me huh?" He paused, looking around. "Ten Mississippi, nine Mississippi, eight Mississippi."

"Joe!" A familiar voice said.

My heart stopped in my chest when Daryl came in my line of sight. He looked around, the hand not holding his crossbow turning into a fist when he saw me kneeling on the ground. I was crying and I opened my mouth to say something, his eyes silently telling me not to. 

"Hold up." He said, looking back at Joe and taking a step forward.

"You're stopping me on eight, Daryl."

"Just hold up." Daryl said, looking down at his brother. I could see it was taking Merle all his will not to call out to him.

"This is the guy that killed Lou, we got nothing to talk about." Joe replied, pushing his gun harder against the back of Rick's head.

"Thing is, we have nothin' but time now'days." Daryl replied, gripping his crossbow so hard his knuckles turned white.

"Say your piece, Daryl." Joe said, motioning to his men to stay were they were.

Daryl took another step toward him, his hand raised in front of him. "These people, yur gonna let 'em go. They all good people."

Joe laughed, saying Rick had killed one of his man. My blood turned cold when Daryl told him to kill him instead. There was no telling how these man would react. The man screamed at him that it was a lie, that we weren't good people. Meanwhile, the guy that was watching Carl in the car dragged him out of the door, pinning him with his body to the ground with a knife an inch away from his face. I could hear my blood flowing through my body. There was no way I was letting any of them touch any of us. 

Joe told his men to teach Daryl a lesson and as soon as they grabbed him I reached for my knife, clutching it in my hand and waiting for the right moment. They dragged Daryl away, the sound of their punches making me cringe as my grip became tighter on my knife. Rick was begging, saying over and over it was only him.

"Now we're gonna beat Daryl to death for lying, then I'm gonna shot this guy." He said pointing at Merle that was struggling against the man holding him down. "Then we are going to have fun with the women. Then with the boy. You're gonna watch the whole time and once we're done I'm gonna shot you. Then we'll be square asshole."

He looked really pissed, spitting his words an inch away from Rick's ear while still pointing his gun at him. I was damn tired to be mistaken for an apocalyptic blow up doll and I could feel the rage bubbling inside me. I took my chance while they were all distracted, stabbing the man that was still holding me painfully by my hair in the thigh and twisting my knife in his leg. He screamed, giving Rick a chance to hit Joe in the face, a gunshot echoing right after. He was kneeling there clearly in a daze, not moving while Joe was cursing behind him, holding his bloody nose. Merle took the occasion to knock unconcious the man watching him, going to help his brother. 

"You fucked up asshole, it's gonna be much worse now, I'm gonna make sure you die a painful death after we make a number on that fucking bitch." Joe screamed, pointing at me before grabbing Rick and turning him around, earning himself a punch in the face.

The man I had stabbed was finally back on his feet, tackling me to the ground, my knife falling in the grass out of my reach. I could see Carl struggling under the other one next to the SUV further away. Rick and Joe were still exchanging right hooks next to the fire, Michonne fighting her own fight with the man that was pointing his gun at her earlier. Merle and Daryl had gotten rid of the rest of Joe's man, Daryl taking long stride toward us with his crossbow pointed at the man on top of me.

"She's claimed already ya asshole." He said, shooting the man on top of me in the back of the head.

I struggled under him, rolling his dead weight from over me. His body hit the ground with a tud, and I got up just in time to see Rick ripping Joe's throat with his teeth before spitting out the piece of flesh with a disgusting sound. When he got up, he looked crazy, blood falling from his mouth and covering his face and clothes.

"Leave the boy alone." He said turning his crazy eyes toward the man still holding Carl to the ground. 

I took a step toward the man that was cowering away, getting my gun out of my waistband and pointing at him. Rick stopped me, telling me he was his. Rick took slow steps toward the man that was now begging to be spared. Daryl pulled me against him just in time to cradle me in his arms, mirroring Michonne's action with Carl as Rick stabbed the man that touched his son violently. We all watched in horror as Rick's knife plunged into the man's heart repeatedly, adding more blood to the one that was already covering him.

Silence filled the air, all the men laying dead on the ground around us. Michonne rocked Carl back and forth while she watched Rick disappear in the wood. Daryl took a step back, holding me at arm length and looking me over like he couldn't believe I was really there before he pulled me against him again. I cried in relief that I was finally back in his arms, and that all of us had managed to escape those men. 

Daryl buried his face in my hair, kissing my neck, goosebumps raising on my skin. "I was sure I lost ya." He chocked as he pulled us both to the ground, his strong arms holding me close to him. 

A sob escaped my lips, my grip on his vest tightening. "I didn't want to leave you, I wanted to look for you. Merle dragged me out of the yard, he said you would find us."

Daryl's body stiffened, and he looked at his brother. "It's true?" He asked and Merle replied the same way he did when Rick thanked him for the same thing, telling his brother that I was family. Daryl's grip on me tightened as he thanked his brother over and over again. Michonne brought a crying Carl in the SUV, the boy clearly tired after everything that had happened. We couldn't leave without Rick, but all of us understood why he left. He needed time to get down from his killing spree. Carl fell asleep on Michonne's lap, Daryl held me through the night and Merle snored like a truck next to us, sitting on the hood and leaning against the windshield. How he could always sleep like we weren't surrounded by things that wanted to kill us was still something I couldn't understand.

The next morning the sun was barely getting up when I reluctantly left Daryl's arms to answer nature's call. When I came back Rick was sitting next to Daryl on the ground, blood still covering his face. I fished a bottle of water from my bag, handing it along with a rag to him.

"We should save it to drink." He said looking up at me.

"You can't see yourself, but I can... he can too." I said pointing to Carl still sleeping with Michonne in the car. "I can't bare to see you like this, imagine what it will do to Carl."

Daryl took the bottle in my hand, pouring a little on the rag and giving it to Rick. He let out a sigh, starting to clean the mess on his face. I was about to leave the both of them alone when Daryl stopped me, pulling me down, so I would sit between his legs, my back against his chest.

"I didn't know what they were." He said, his arms snaking around my waist.

"How did you ended up with them?" Rick asked, still trying to wipe the dried blood away from his face.

"I was with Beth for a while. She disappeared, that's when they found me." Daryl said, shifting behind me.

"Is she dead?" I asked, Daryl holding me tighter.

"Nah, just gone. When they found me after I didn't know they were that bad. They had a code and everytin'. It was damn stupid, but it was simple. It was enough."

"You did what you had to survive. You were alone." Rick said, dropping the rag at his feet.

"They said they were lookin' for some guy. Last night they said they spotted him." He hesitated for a second. "I was hangin' back, I was gonna leave. But I stayed. That's when I saw it was ya. Right when ya saw me, when I saw Alice...I didn't know what they could do." His grip on me tightened even more as he nuzzled my neck.

"None of this is on you." Rick said his eye falling on Daryl before they went to me. "You're here now, that's all that count. You're my brother Daryl. I trust you, I told you already." 

I knew Rick was implying he wouldn't let a man like Daryl close to me if he didn't. He had stated more than once he saw me like a daughter, and Rick was like a mama bear protecting his cubs when it came to his kids. We had first row seats to a proof of that yesterday. Rick left Daryl and I alone, going around the car and going inside.

"He's right you know, none of this is your fault." I said, knowing Daryl would feel like this was on him simply because he didn't see what they truly were. "I'm sure Beth isn't your fault either."

He didn't say anything, only turning me around in his arms before he kissed me. His kiss was desperate, filled with all the fear and pain he had felt when he thought he had lost me. I cupped his cheek, looking in his blue eyes with a small smile. "I'm okay Daryl." I whispered to him, my forehead against his and my thumb softly rubbing his face. "Merle made sure of it."

"Damn sure I did. He'd killed me if I didn't." Merle smircked, standing in front of us. "Ya better take good care of that one baby brother. I ain't got a clue why, but she really love yur sorry ass. She's even stubborn like a Dixon."


	20. I missed you

We walked all day under the blazing sun, and when it began to set, the six of us were tired. None of us had managed to sleep that well last night, and we couldn't continue all night if we wanted to work with a leveled head. We made camp in a little clearing off the track, not wanting a repeat of the night before. If we read the map right, we would reach Terminus the next day and I knew we would need all our strength if it turned out not to be the sanctuary it claimed to be. As far as we knew, it could be a trap. It could also have been gone a long time ago either over ran by walkers or taken over by people like Joe's group.

Carl and Michonne were a couple of feet away, collecting firewood, Rick and Daryl were planning our approach on Terminus the next day and Merle and I both went our separate way to try and catch something for diner. We didn't know what awaited us the next day and I wasn't ready to perform a recon mission on an empty stomach.

The dense foliage crunched under my feet as I made my way in the forest, clutching my slingshot in my hand. The forest was surprisingly devoid of walkers, I hadn't crossed any since I left the others. Something moved in the tree in front of me and I aimed at it, waiting silently to catch a sight of whatever it was through the leaves. Just as I was about to take the shot, someone grabbed me from behind, quickly spinning me around.

Warm lips came crashing down on mine, muffling the surprised squeal that was about to escape my lips. I immediately recognized Daryl scent, pushing him a little before slapping his chest.

"You scared the shit out of me, you damn ninja." I huffed, a small smile on my lips as my arms snaked around his neck.

"Couldn't resist, yur so damn cute when yur huntin'." He said with a half smile, half smirk on his face, his calloused hand grabbing my waist.

"How am I supposed to catch anything with you sneaking up on me like that?" I asked in a playful tone, shaking my head.

"Ain't got nothing to worry 'bout. Merle already came back with three rabbit." He chuckled, leaning his forehead against mine. "I missed ya Ali."

I let out a sigh, cupping his cheek with one hand and burying the other in his hair. "I missed you too."

"It was a good thing, Merle getting ya out." He said, his eyes finding mine.

"What happened to you? With Beth I mean, you said she disappeared, but I didn't have the time to ask you more about it." I asked and he let out a sigh.

"It's stupid really. We got caught in a house by walkers, she got out first and when I caught up with her, she was just...gone. A car with a big ass white cross on it took her." He said biting his bottom lips hand looking to the side.

"Oh Daryl." I whispered, tilting my head, so he would look at me. "I hope you know it's not your fault." I said, trying to ease his mind over it.

"I know." He frowned. "She ain't dead. We'll find the assholes that took her. Plus, she helped me understand somethin'."

My head tilted to the side, a puzzled look on my face. He let out another sigh. "I kind of lost it on her." It was my turn to frown. Beth was an amazing girl and I couldn't see how she could make him that mad. "I was pissed, I thought I had lost ya, thought y'all were dead. When she said it was okay to be sad, I lost it. Told her I ain't never needed anybody. She put me back in my place."

I laughed softly, the idea of the youngest Greene sisters putting Daryl back in his place not lost on me. I had seen Maggie do it a hundred times, but sweet little Beth doing it was hilarious. He must have really pissed her off for her to grow balls big enough to put a man like Daryl in his place.

"She told me I couldn't give up on ya, said ya wouldn't." He nuzzled my neck. "She was right, I just ain't use to it, needin' somebody like that."

Our weapons laid at out feet when my lips met his once again, his strong arms pulling my body against his. I had missed this so much, the smell of smoke and trees coming from him was the most comforting smell in the world. He backed me up against a tree, his hand sneaking under my shirt and goosebumps raising on my skin under his soft touch.

"What about the others?" I asked, out of breath between kisses. "Won't they worry if we're not back soon?"

"Don't worry 'bout that." He said, kissing me again hungrily.

He didn't have to ask twice, the passion in his kiss making the world around us disappear. I was so high on his smell I could have been ripped apart by a walker and probably wouldn't have noticed. His tongue danced around mine, his hands grabbing my leather jacket and pulling it down from my shoulder. His moves were needy, his touch becoming more urgent by the second and I loved it, loved this side of him that needed me as much as I needed him. I moaned as he leaned me back against the tree, the rough bark scratching my skin through my tank top. My fingers skimmed his toned stomach through his sleeveless button-up shirt before slowly getting up.

I undid the buttons one by one, my hand grazing his skin as I did. He nuzzled my neck, kissing his way down my chest. He lifted his head, his deep blue eye meeting mine as he lifted my shirt over my head. I could drown in his lust filled gaze, and it still wouldn't extinguish the fire burning inside me at that moment. My hand roamed his now naked chest, his breath shaking as I traced his defined abs.

He undid the clasp of my bra and I discarded it with my jacket on the ground. My pink nipples raised under the soft breeze and something close to a growl escaped Daryl lips as he took one in his mouth, my hands instantly went to his hair and my head fell back. I breathed out his name, his tongue swirling around it while he kneaded the other one with his free hand. I rubbed his erection through his jeans and I felt it throbbing under my palm. Knowing I had this effect on him made heat pool in my stomach.

My fingers finally found his belt buckle and I undid it with shaky finger, barely able to think straight under his attention. He left his pants fall down to his ankles, biting down on one of my nipples. He grabbed my thighs, lifting me from the ground. His body collided with mine as my leg circled his waist. I moved my hips against him, trying to create more friction to scratch the ache growing inside me.

"Daryl, I want you know, please!" I let out in a shaky breath.

"Ya won't have to ask twice." He said in a husky voice, his hand grabbing my ass and pulling me impossibly closer to him.

He lowered us to the ground, positioning himself, so he would be lying on his back. I kneeled next to him and kissed him, biting his lower lips as I got rid of my constricting pants. He slid my soaked panties down my legs and pulled me over him. I gasped as soon as his warm dick came in contact with my wet lower lips, the feeling sending electricity through my body.

"Missed me that much?" He smirked, sliding his big cock against my slit and moaning at how wet I already was for him.

"Stop talking and fuck me already." I said in a pleading voice, surprising myself with how straight forward I sounded. It was usually shy when it came down to sex, and I had never wanted someone enough to voice it out loud like this. It came crashing down on me how much I had been scared to lose him, how close I was to never feel like this again.

I rocked back and fort on top of him, lost in the feeling of him against me. His tip rubbed my clitoris deliciously with every thrust of my hips, and my head fell back as another moan escaped my mouth. A smug grin appeared on his face at the sight of me moving on top of him like this. His hand grabbed my hips, stopping my movement and I groaned before he propped himself at my entrance.

I bent over, kissing him desperately as he pushed himself inside me. He trailed kisses down my neck, nibbling on my soft spot as he slowly pushed himself inch by inch inside me. I moaned his name when the slight pain I felt at how big he was left place to nothing but raw pleasure.

"Fuck! My name sound so good when ya say it like that." He let out in a shaky breath as he pushed my body down until he was buried balls deep inside me.

"Fuck Daryl." I hissed, my back arching as he held me tight against his chest. 

He started moving inside me, holding me down as he worked his hips up and down. I could feel my juice dripping out of my pussy every time he slid out before sliding back inside. I pushed against him, my palm against his chest and started grinding on top of him. A flush creeped up my face and his grip on my waist tightened. Never in my life I had felt this right being with somebody. His eyes roamed all over me, his gaze filled with desire as I squirmed on top of him.

He looked up at me with a burning gaze, his hand sliding between us and his thumb finding my clitoris. He flicked it, my whole body shivering while I jumped up and down on him. I could feel my orgasm building up, and he pushed me over the edge when he sucked on my nipple. My walls tightened around his cock, and he bucked under me, his pace becoming urgent as he let me ride the pleasure wave that coursed through me. I screamed out his name as I came, not caring who or what could hear us at this moment.

I tried catching my breath, each expiration coming out in a rasp as I came down from my high. He apparently wasn't done with me, kissing me like his life depended on it before turning me around. He kneeled down behind me, pulling my hips up, so I would be standing on all four on the forest ground, my ass up in front of him. I looked at him over my shoulder, his eyes burning through me as he inspected me from this new angle. He traced the angel wings I had tattooed on my back, biting his lower lips.

"Ya really are the most beautiful woman I ever saw." He said, his hand going down my body until he reached my ass. "Come on say yur mine."

"I'm yours and yours only, Daryl." I purred, his hand doing wonderful things to my body.

He grabbed his dick, pulling me closer with his other hand. He rubbed his tip over my wet pussy a couple of times, our moans the only thing breaking the silence around us. His hips met my ass with force when he slammed himself back inside me, thrusting in and out at a perfect pace. I could feel myself climbing up again, powerless under his assault.

He grabbed my shoulders, pulling me back against his torso while he still rammed his cock in and out of me. He palmed my breast, twisting and pinching my nipples between his fingers and sending waves of pleasure through me. I leaned my head back, grabbing the back of his neck with my hand to pull myself closer to him as he kissed me. I came event harder than before, my toes curling and my walls contracting around his dick as I screamed out his name in ecstasy. He grunted out my name as I felt him coming inside me, his cock pulsing inside as he filled me. 

We both collapsed to the ground, breathing hard as I curled up in his arm. "That was the best orgasm I ever had." I said, feeling myself blush. 

"A lot more where that came from." He chuckled, kissing me lovingly.

"I love you Daryl." I said when his lips left mine.

"I love ya too, Ali." He whispered, rubbing his nose in my hair. 

The breeze ruffling in the trees made me shiver, and I was suddenly aware of how cold it was getting and how naked I was. Daryl chuckled, bringing me closer to him and telling me I should get dressed before I caught a cold. He got up, quickly getting his pants up and buttoning his shirt as I gathered my clothes on the ground. Once I was dressed he pulled me against him again, kissing me one last time before we made it back to camp.

*****

"Look like the two lovebirds decided to join us." Merle snickered when we got close to the camp fire. "I'm impressed lil brother, didn't know ya would last that long."

"Shut up Merle." Daryl said, kicking his brother boot as he passed in front of him.

"Carl was getting worried something had happened to you both." Rick said, visibly trying to hold in his laughter as he pointed to Carl sleeping a little to the side.

"Somethin' happened a'right." Merle said with his usual smirk on his face.

Michonne wiggled her eyebrows, removing a dead leaf from my hair before smiling knowingly at me. My face turned red and I looked at the ground, Rick finally bursting out laughing. 

"I'm sorry, it's just, Carl was really worried and it was hard telling him you guys were fine without telling him what you two were doing." He said, wiping a tear from his eyes.

Daryl pulled me closer to him, my head falling in the crook of his neck, trying in vain to hide. Michonne passed us some rabbit, and we ate as the five of us talked a little about what would happen the next day. The plan was to have a look without them seeing us. It would be easier to figure out who we were dealing with if they didn't have the time to see us coming. We would decide what to do once we had an idea of how dangerous they were.

Once everyone understood how we would proceed, we called it a night. Daryl and Merle took the first watch shift. I settled down curled up next to him on the ground, my head propped up on my bag and fell asleep almost instantly. Hushed voices woke me up a couple of hours later. Merle and Daryl didn't seem to notice they had woken me, too far gone in their conversation. I didn't move, my back turned to the two brothers.

"She loves yur sorry ass, and that ain't answering my question." It took all I had in me not to react. They were talking about me. 

I could feel Daryl fidgeting next to me, his hand rubbing my hair mindlessly. I didn't know what Merle question was, but I could tell Daryl was uncomfortable answering it. He always seemed to try to look tougher in front of his brother, and whatever question Merle had asked, he clearly though it would make him look weak. He shifted next to me before he spoke. "I love her. I just don't know if I can do it."

"Why wouldn't ya?" Merle asked his little brother.

"I ain't never thought about that b'fore, ya know, settlin' down. But when it comes to her there's nothin' I ain't ready to do." Daryl answered with a sigh. 

"I told ya baby brother, ya gotta do whatever it takes to keep that one. Ain't no one who ever looked at old Merle like this, hell mom ain't never looked at our old man like that." I felt like I was intruding on something, but at the same time I couldn't bring myself to fall back asleep. 

"Ya ever fell like ya ain't good enough to give someone what they deserve ya to give 'em?" 

There was a silence before Merle spoke again. "Nah, but ain't never found someone who deserve what she does." He said, clicking his tongue. "Yur a lucky bastard lil' brother, girls like her would never touch me with a ten feet pole."

I shivered from the cold and Daryl tugged me against him, kissing the top of my head. "I'm the luckiest motherfucker." He said, and Merle hummed his agreement. They didn't say much more after that, and I kept wondering what Merle had asked Daryl to cause him to open up to his brother like this. The Dixon brothers loved each other to death, but they were also far from sentimental.

I don't know how long after I fell asleep, but when I woke up in the early morning I was in Daryl arms, his arm tucked under my head and my face against his chest. The sun wasn't even up, and he was still sleeping. I looked up at him, my breath catching in my throat when I saw how peaceful he looked. He seemed to be ten years younger, and I couldn't bring myself to wake him up. I shimmied out of his arms, trying as best as I could not to wake him up and failing miserably. I wasn't even out of his reach, and he was already sitting up, his crossbow already in his hand and a look of panic in his face.

The sudden movement had Rick and Michonne, who were keeping watch, turning in our direction. Daryl quickly dropped his crossbow, his shoulders slumping in relief when his eyes fell on me. He got up, stretched and kissed me before he walked in their direction. I followed behind him, rubbing the sleep out of my eyes. It was early, but we had a really long day ahead of us.


	21. No sanctuary

Rick dropped his Colt Python in the duffle bag at the bottom of a tree, before shoveling dirt on top of it. We decided not to bring all of our weapons with us, knowing we would need them if we had to get out of there in a hurry. I tighten the strap around my thigh, making sure my 9 mm was full before nodding to the others. The six of us then sneaked over the fence, being careful not to be seen. Terminus looked like a well oiled clock, with watch and patrols everywhere. We walked in line behind a wall, making sure no one would see us. Rick, who was leading us stopped and looked back, making sure all of us where ready before we got into an unlocked door.

The fact that it was unlocked didn't sit well with me. Either those people were stupid and careless, or too dangerous to care whether someone came in or not. We walked silently in the building, following a voice in the distance. It sounded like a radio recording, repeating the same sentence over and over, the same thing we had read on the Terminus sign. We walked in an open room, my grip on my pistol tightening when I saw the people working on workbench obvious to us until the woman behind the voice noticed us.

"Hello." Rick said, making the others in the room turn to us.

A man further away complained about someone named Albert probably being on watch before he walked to us, asking if we were there to rob them.

"No, we wanted to see you before you saw us." Rick said holstering his weapon. Daryl took a side step and positioned himself half in front of me, the man looking at each of us slowly before talking again.

"Well, we usually do that where the tracks meet, but welcome to Terminus." He said walking with his arms in the air. "I'm Gareth, you guys look like you've been on the road for a good bit."

"No shit Sherlock." I muttered, rolling my eyes. The six of us were far from looking like the man standing in front of us, blood and mud caking our clothes and skin.

A smile made its way on Carl face and Rick gave me a warning glance before taking another step toward Gareth. "Yes we were." He answered before presenting all of us.

"You guys are nervous, and believe me I get it. We all were. We came here for Sanctuary, is that why you're here?" He asked, to which Rick agreed. "Well you found it. The welcome wagon is a lot nicer but I guess Alex here can give you a tour, it's not like we have anything to hide." He said, another man taking a step forward.

"Before you go, Alex will ask you a couple of questions, but first we need to see everyone's weapons. Please lay them down in front of you. I'm sure you understand why." He said, raising an eyebrow.

I exchanged glances with Daryl and Merle, shuffling uncomfortably. I didn't like were this was going, it looked too easy. Rick took his gun out and laid it on the ground, saying he understood, all of us following his lead. I reluctantly put my gun down in front of me, my knife following close behind. The men named Alex and Gareth walked to us, patting everyone down to make sure everything was on display. 

"I'd hate to see the other guy." Alex joked when he saw Daryl's black eye as he checked him. 

"Ya would." Merle said.

"He deserved it?" He asked taking a step toward me.

"Oh yeah." I said when he bent in front of me. I gave him a warning glance as he started patting me down, Daryl looking at each of his movements like he would gladly rip his head off his shoulders.

"Careful with her if ya don't want to see stars lil man." Merle muttered next to me.

Once they were satisfied with us not hiding any weapons, Gareth claimed we were good to go, surprisingly motioning for us to take our weapons back. We did, following behind Alex. The Dixon brothers flanked my side, the both of them seemingly as worried as me. He brought us outside, answering our question as he did. I paid little attention to what he was saying, looking around me. A woman eating at a table caught my attention. I could have recognized the poncho she was wearing anywhere, it was the one Daryl wore all winter after we lost the farm, the one Maggie was wearing when we got attacked at the prison. I elbowed him in the ribs, nodding to the woman. He immediately reacted, turning to Rick. While he silently pointed it out , I looked around some more. A man was wearing what looked awfully like the riot gear we used at the prison, and another had a bag that looked like the one Glenn used when he went on run.

Alex had stopped in front of a woman cooking meat on a grill outside and was still talking. She said something I didn't grasp, too busy looking around. He had a plate in his hand and was handing it out to Carl when Rick slapped it away. He pulled on a chain dangling from Alex's pocket, the watch Hershel had given to Glenn at the end of it. Rick quickly pulled out his gun, his arm snaking around the man's neck and his pistol against his head. We all followed suit, pulling our weapons and taking a protective stance around Rick, making sure none of the people present could pull anything.

Gareth walked out, arms raised in the air. "What seems to be the problem?"

"Where did you get that?" Rick asked, waving Glenn's watch around.

"I found it on a dead man, I swear." Alex screamed.

"And that poncho? And the protective gear?" I said, pointing my gun to Gareth.

"The protective gear is from a dead police officer and the poncho was found on a clothes line." He answered calmly.

"You lying piece of shit." I said taking a step toward him before Daryl grabbed my arm, pointing at the people coming out around us with riffles.

The situation quickly went from bad to a total disaster. We ended up standing in the middle of parked train cars, surrounded by shooters on the roofs. "Drop your weapons. Now!" Gareth screamed, the others pointing their gun at us. 

We were outnumbered. Even if we managed to kill some of them, the others would get us. We complied, our weapons clattering on the ground i front of us. 

"Now Ringleader, you walk to your right. Stand in front of the train car. GO." Gareth ordered, adding he would kill Carl when Rick hesitated.

"Now the Archer." Daryl walked behind Rick.

"Captain Hook, then the Samurai." Merle and Michonne followed behind.

"Ginger it's your turn." I gave him the finger before following the others. 

I took a step toward Daryl when I got close, wanting nothing more than to be in his arms. Fear was taking over my whole body, my hands shaking. Gareth threatened to kill me if we didn't stand in the exact order he said. Daryl gave me a pleading look, and I reluctantly took my spot at the end of the line. 

"Now Ringleader, you open the door and go in." He said once all of us were standing where he wanted us to. 

Rick screamed at him he would go without Carl, but the man didn't give a shit, saying he would shoot his son down if he didn't comply, and that we would still need to go in. We got in the car, Carl following behind and darkness surrounding us once the door closed.

My breath hitched in my throat when I saw the people standing in front of us. There in the shadow stood Maggie, Sasha, Glenn and Bob with some people we didn't know. There was a big ginger man standing protectively in front of a man with a mullet, a short woman dressed like a slutty army woman next to him and another familiar woman I couldn't place standing a little to the side. Relief tears fell down my face as I hugged Maggie. Daryl pulling me closer to him when I let her go, eyeing the strangers in the car as he did. 

"They're friends, they helped save our lives." Maggie said, taking a step in front of the strangers.

"If they saved them I think we can trust them. They can help us get out." I said, getting out of Daryl's arms.

"We won't be here long. They're going to be real sorry when they find out."Rick said looking through the crack in the door.

"Found out what?" The big ginger man said with a scoff.

Rick looked at me with a smile and I grinned, the strangers giving us an unsure glance when I turned to them. "They're fucking with the wrong people."

I took Daryl hand, a determined look on my face. Now that we were together there was nothing to stop us. We would get out, together, as a family. Terminus won't know what hit them.

*****

I didn't know how long we had been there, catching up and working on make shift weapons when those pricks came to get us. We all stood there, weapons raised when a trap door opened on the roof, light flooding the train car. When smoke filled the air, Daryl's first reflex was to pull me against him, but we were soon separated. I was roughly pushed out of the car, trying with all my might to get away from the man steering me around like a rag doll. I briefly managed to get out of his grasp but got hit behind the knees and fell, someone tying my wrist as soon as I hit the pavement. I cursed, looking at Rick, Daryl, Glenn and Bob, all laying on the ground close to me. I got pulled of the ground harshly, a gag being tied around my mouth before I could say anything.

Those Terminus assholes didn't lose time making us stand in line before we were pushed toward a building. Every inch of my being was screaming at me that we needed to get away as we were heard toward the open door. I felt like a cattle being pushed to the slaughterhouse. Little did I know how right that feeling was.

When we entered the building, my blood turned cold. The coppery smell of blood filled the air, and I understood exactly why when we were pushed pass heavy plastic curtains. There in the middle of the room stood a steel tub, two men standing behind it wearing DIY shower curtain apron. One of them had a baseball bat, the other had a knife in his hand. I shuddered when I realized they were literally going to slaughter us. We were forced to kneel in front of the tub, next to others that had been brought in soon after us. Some asshole tied my ankles so tight I could barely feel my feet anymore.

The two men exchanged a few words with our escort, my eyes going instantly to Daryl when they turned their back to us. The look of panic in his eyes did nothing to calm me down, fear taking control of my brain. Tears fell from my eyes as the men came back to us, one of them taking a pad and scribbling something down while they casually decided from which side of the tub they would start.

I almost threw up whe the baseball bat collided with the head of the first man in line with a loud tud. The sound of his blood splashing the bottom of the tub mixing with our muffled cries. The muffled screams of the man next to him made my head spin, and a sob racked my body when they stopped, the sound of the baseball bat hitting his head making my stomach turn once again.

The two butcher were now standing behind the man next to me, getting ready to hit him when Garrett came in, asking about their shot count.

"Thirty height." The one holding the bat replied before they killed the man next to me. 

My body was shaking as they moved behind me and I saw Daryl stiffen from the corner of my eye. I was bracing myself for the hit when Gareth asked the same question again.

"Crap man, I don't know. It was my first round up." The man with the knife told him.

"Well be sure to go back to your spot and count your shell. They won't be picking it up before tomorrow."

I couldn't believe how casually they were talking about that. They were treating this as any other production chain. Keeping paperwork about everything, like they were dealing with cattle instead of human beings.

"So three from D, five from A?" Gareth said, still scribbling in his stupid book. I would have shoved it up his ass if it wasn't for the fact I was tied up like a damn roast.

From further down the line, Bob started to ask Gareth to let him speak. When he finally removed his gag, Bob started telling him they didn't need to kill us, that there was a way around it. He told him about Eugene, the man with a mullet that apparently hold the cure for the virus, but Gareth wasn't having it and put his gag back before moving to Rick.

"We saw you go into the wood with a bag, but you came out without it." He said, removing Rick's gag from his mouth.

My body was shaking as I watched the exchange, scared the two man standing behind me would come out of their daydream and start doing their actual job again. Gareth was mad, he pulled a knife in Bob's face, forcing Rick to tell him what was in the bag. Rick started to list what type of gun was in it, telling Gareth which one he would use to kill him.

Gareth didn't look impress by Rick outburst, putting the gag back in his mouth before he got up from his spot on the floor. He was telling the two man they had two hours to put us on the drying rack when gunshot echoed, the three of them freezing in their spot. They exchanged looks before they got knock down by an explosion. The man in charge told them to get back to work before he scurried out of the room.

"We're just going to stay here?" The man with the knife asked the other one.

"Got a job to do." His colleague answered in a calmer voice than his friend. 

I was close to passing out from all the stress by that time. The two man were now arguing about whether or not they should go check what was happening. The man with the knife looked pretty new to all of this, he was legit panicking, trying to reach Gareth on a walkie-talkie and pacing around in front of us. The other one kept telling him security wasn't their job. 

Glenn kicked my leg, nodding toward Rick. While the two dumbass where arguing, Rick had managed to get to the sharpened piece of wood he had hidden in his boot. Relief took over my body when I saw him manage to get himself free while the men were still arguing, their voices getting louder by the second. Rick sneaked behind them, stabbing one of them in the neck, attacking the other before he could even realize what was happening. He had the same look on his face he had when Joe's men attacked us when he stabbed him repeatedly, being careful to avoid his head, but making sure he was down.

Once the second man was dead, he ran to us and cut the tie wrap they had used to tie us up. As soon as the last one was cut, I ran to Daryl. He pulled me in his arms, relief evident in his face moment before he kissed me. I wished I could stay like this, safe in his arms. When we separated he squeezed my hand, kissing my forehead before we went to Rick.

We all looked around the room, trying to find weapons to fight our way out. I grabbed the knife one of the man had, wiping the blood that was on it on the man's clothes. Any of them coming between me and my friends would die by their own weapons, they deserved nothing else, people like them didn't deserve to be spared. Daryl gave me a nod, clearly having the same thought I was having when he grabbed the bat the other man had used to knock the men from car D.

When we entered a room where human body part were hanging from the ceiling, I couldn't keep it in anymore. I turned to a sink and threw up. If we thought the Governor was bad, those people were definitely even worse than I had imagined. They didn't eat people because they didn't have a choice, they built their society around it. They could have helped people, but instead they decided to heard them here and eat them.

"Ya good?" Daryl asked me, his eyes full of worry.

"Yeah, I guess I could have done with a little less gore today. I'm not watching another Saw movie ever again." I said while wiping my chin under Daryl questioning look. We really had to work on his pop culture knowledge once we got out of here.

"You see any of those assholes, you kill them." Rick said and we all agreed. 

The five of us made our way out of the slaughter room, careful to avoid being seen. We didn't know what had caused the explosion. It was unlikely to be our people since they were stuck in the train car. We had tried to get out already, there was no way they had managed to do it and cause such chaos. For all we knew it could have been another group attacking, and we didn't want to get caught in a war we had no place in. We wanted to get our people, and leave this cannibalistic hell.

The whole placed was filled with walkers. Whoever had caused that explosion had doomed this place. Daryl and I stood side by side as we fought our way to the wagon our friend were held in. When we were half way there, a group of terminus passed by us, trying to clear walker from their compound. We let them pass by, hidden behind a car. Rick sneaked behind the last man and took his riffle, using it to kill the others. We made our way to them, taking all the weapons we could get. I put the knife I had taken in my holster, taking two hand guns from a woman and tucking them in my waist band before picking a riffle of the ground.

When we finally got to the car A Rick opened the door, all of our friends getting out, ready to fight by our side. I watched Glenn pulling Maggie in his arm with a smile, Daryl giving a gun to Merle after giving him a bro hug and Bob giving guns to Rosita, Abraham and Tara, before I turned to Sasha. I tossed the riffle to her, taking out the two handgun I had taken with a wink. She gave me a thankful nod and I returned it. As soon as his dad released him, Carl's body came crashing down on me, his grip around my waist so tight he probably cracked a rib.

"I'm alright buddy, but we need to go. There's going to be more time for that later." I told him, tapping his back.

"Come on." Daryl said, kissing me quickly before we started making our way through the chaos.

I collapsed on my knees when we made it to where we had left our weapons. I was so tired of losing everything. Terminus could have been so much, and I was disappointed it turned out as another proof human beings were disgusting. I couldn't keep my cool when Rick said we needed to go back and finish them.

"The hell we are." I screamed, my head snapping in his direction. "All of us are safe. We don't need to go back the fucking place is on fire."

"They don't get to live." Rick said.

"The fences are down, it's full of walkers." Rosita added, looking as pissed as I was. I didn't know if it was because she wanted to keep mullet man safe or if she really was against the idea.

"I'm not taking that crap, we just made it out." Abraham said, taking a step toward Rick.

"They're either going to run or die." Maggie added in her calm voice. How she managed to stay calm in any situation I still couldn't understand.

The ruffling of leaves close behind us caught our attention. We all turned, Daryl darted in Carol's direction. In all the chaos after we lost the prison, I had almost forgotten Rick had casted her away after learning she was the one that killed Karen and David and set their bodies on fire. Even with knowing that, I was happy to see her here, glad that she had survived. All the rage I had felt that Rick wanted to go back escaped my body when I saw Daryl pulling Carol in his arms.

When Daryl finally let go of his best friend, it was my turn to jump in the woman's arms. If Rick was like a dad to me, Carol definitely was like the mom I never knew. Tears fell from my eyes as she storked my hair, a relieved laugh escaping her lips.

"You did this?" Rick voice asked from behind me, causing Carol to release me.

I took a step back, Daryl's arms snacking around my waist as we watched carefully how this reunion would go. Rick never agreed with what Carol had done, and even if we didn't completely agreed either, the two of us were not happy when we learned Rick had asked her to leave. I was anxious when he took a step toward her, his face unreadable. I felt Daryl's body relax when Rick finaly engulfed her in a hug, tears of relief falling from his eyes.

Carol told us to follow her, and we did. We walked for a while in the wood, until we made it to a cabin. I barely had time to register what was happenning when the door openned. Tyreese came out, a pink bundle in his big arms. Sasha immediately took of toward her brother, Rick and Carl following close behind. My heart nearly exploded in my chest when I saw them reunited. Rick and Carl showering the little girl with kisses.

Rick walked to me with Judith in his arms, the little girl holding the pink unicorn I had gave her tighly in her hand. When she saw me she raised her arms toward me, Rick and Carl chucckling before he passed her to me. I held the little girl tightly in my arms, the two of them encircling me in their arms as I did. 

"I told you she was alive" I told them, a smile on my face. "She's a survivor, just like us."


	22. Forgive me Father

I watched Rick cross out one of the Terminus sign, crossing the part about sanctuary for all and adding a big NO on top of it, rocking Judith in my arms before we made our way as far away from Terminus as we could. I smiled as Judith chewed on the unicorn tail, the innocence of her act calming my aching heart. There had to be a place somewhere in this world for us, for her. I continued walking with the group, my head full of thought about our future.

We continued walking for a while before the group soon stopped in a small clearing. Rick looked around, declaring we would take a break and Carl came to get his sister. I passed her to him with a smile and watched him walk to his dad that was waiting with a bottle of water further away. Daryl left to get his brother and I sat down on a log, watching the people around me. The strangers were huddled together in a corner, talking in hushed voices and I couldn't help wondering what they were talking about. Maggie and Glenn were talking in a hushed tone as well, but I didn't have to hear what they were saying to know exactly what they were telling each other. I watched Tyreese and Carol leave with empty bottles to fill, and then Merle and Daryl going for a hunt. I was lost in my own mind when the woman I still couldn't place walked up to me, handing me a bottle of water.

"I'm Tara, I'm sorry I didn't catch your name." She said, looking around shyly.

"I'm Alice." I said watching her from my spot on the log. "I'm sorry, have we met before? You look oddly familiar." I said before taking a sip of water.

A blush creeped up her face, and she stood awkwardly in front of me, looking like she would burst out crying any second now. "I was with the Governor before...I didn't want to be there at the attack. I swear. I wanted to die after but Glenn..." She was talking fast, looking on the verge of a nervous breakdown when I got up and took a step toward her.

"Hey calm down. Glenn said you helped him find Maggie is this true?" I asked her.

She sniffled, wiped a tear from here face and nodded. "Yeah but..."

I shook my head. "No buts. You said you didn't want to fight with him, is it true?" She nodded again. "Then we're alright, you're one of us now. That's what we do, we help each other, fight to protect our people." I gave her a reassuring smile, sitting back on the log and motioning for her to sit next to me. She shook her head, telling me she wanted to talk to Rick and left. I watched her walk away, a low sigh escaping my lips before I got up. 

Daryl and Merle made it back soon after and once everyone had a little something to eat we went on the road again. We walked aimlessly all day, stopping only when it was so dark we couldn't see more than a couple of feet in front of us. We lit a fire, making sure the area was free of walkers before we settled down around it, Sasha and Bob taking the first watch. Rick asked if I could take care of Judith for him, Carl already fast asleep further away. I smiled as I extended my arms, cradling the little girl against me. She cooed, everyone faces lighting up at the sound.

After a while, conversation around the fire started to die down. People were starting to fall asleep, the night falling quiet around us. Daryl sat next to me in silence for a while, his arms around my shoulder as we watched the fire burn, Judith even breathing one of the few sound we could hear.

"She looks good on ya." Daryl said with loving eyes, a blush on his face.

I smiled, looking down at the little girl in my arms. "You know it's funny because kids never liked me that much before."

"Well she looks like she loves ya. Can't blame her, what's not to love." He said with a smirk, kissing my lips lightly.

"You ever wanted kids?" I asked him.

He shrugged. "Never though 'bout it b'fore. Never met anyone that made me want somethin' like that b'fore ya."

"You mean..." I started, not being able to finish my sentence before Daryl's lips came crashing down on mine.

"Keep it PG in front of the kiddo." Merle snickered sitting down on a spot close to us.

"Shut up." Daryl answered his brother, another blush creeping up his neck. I snorted, he was so cute when he was acting all shy.

He tightened his grip on me before he kissed my temple, whispering in my ear he needed to talk with Carol before he got up and left. I stayed there, Judith soundly asleep in my arms, whispering promise in her ear that we would find someplace safe for her.

Merle was looking at me the whole time, and I raised my eyebrow in question, a smirk appearing on his face before his eyes fell on Judith.

"What?" I asked, wondering why he was acting like that.

"Nothin' sweetheart." He said, still smirking. "Ya should get some sleep."

I rolled my eyes, shaking my head before I leaned back on my backpack. "I guess you're right." I said before I closed my eyes, Judith heartbeat against my chest lulling me to sleep. 

When we woke up the next morning, we went back to walking. After a while I fell in step with Daryl behind everyone else, the two of us enjoying being together in silence when Merle came to walk with us.

"The redhead over there, he keeps eyeing yur woman brother." He said, shooting the man a look that could kill before he went back to walking with Carol.

I looked in his direction, my eyes meeting his for a second before he looked away. I had thought Merle was being paranoid, but I guess he was right. We continued walking for a while and sure enough, every time I lifted my eyes, he was watching me. After a while, Daryl got pissed about it.

"Hey." Daryl said to Abraham who stopped dead in his track, saying something to Rosita before he stopped to wait for Daryl and I to catch up.

"What." He said, towering before us.

"Ya got a problem? Ya keep looking at her." Daryl said, not impress by the man look.

"No problem, I just feel like I've seen her before." Abraham answered, watching me closely.

"You probably got me mistaken with someone else man." I said. "Plenty of girls like me before everything went to hell."

"I never forget a face, and yours is damn hard to forget sugar. I'll figure it out." He shrugged.

"Watch it man." Daryl said, taking a protective stance next to me before Abraham walked away, still giving me some glance.

"Don't worry about it, I'm sure it's nothing." I told Daryl, cupping his cheek and forcing his eyes away from Abraham.

"Still don't like it." He grunted, lacing his fingers through mine.

"I know." I said with a sigh, his blue eyes boring through mine before he released a sign as well. 

*****

We continued walking for a while, the wind ruffling the leaves around us as it blew through the trees. A scream suddenly broke the eery silence that surrounded us. "Help! Somebody help!" Carl took off in the direction of the plea, all of us following closely behind. 

The scene that greeted us was out of this world. There was a priest, perched on top of a rock, kicking and screaming at the walkers beneath him. One of the walker was gripping his shoe, barely missing it with his teeth with each snap of his jaw. I grabbed my knife, taking a step forward. Daryl took my hand, trying to keep me back. I looked at him, shaking my head and took aim. My knife flew in the air before anyone could fire, embedding itself in the walker's head. The others where frozen for a second, Abraham and Rosita being the first to get out of it and finish the three walkers that were left.

Rick's head turned to me, a look of surprise on his face. I shrugged, walking toward the walker I had killed and getting my knife back, wiping the blood off of it on the walker clothes. The priest, who finally snapped out of his daze got down from the rock, taking a step toward me and reaching out. Daryl and Merle didn't miss a beat. In a second they were between the priest and I, Daryl roughly shoving him away with a warning grunt.

"You stay back." Rick said, taking a step toward the man.

The priest swallowed, his adam's apple bobbing up and down as he did. He looked uncomfortably at Rick for a second before he emptied his stomach on the ground next to him, all of us looking away as he did.

"What's your name?" Rick asked the man once he was done throwing up.

"Gabriel." The man answered, wiping his mouth on his sleeve.

"You have any weapons Gabriel?" Rick said, raising an eyebrow in question.

"I don't need anything else than the protection of god." He answered smugly.

"Doesn't look like it." I said, pointing at the walker that was laying at his feet.

"I asked for help, and help came." He said looking at me before his eyes fell on the silver cross around my neck. "Do you have a camp?"

"No, do you?" Rick asked.

"No, but I have a church."

Judith cooed from Tyreese arms, the priest's eyes falling on her. "It's a beautiful child." He said. None of us said anything, and I positioned myself, so he couldn't see the little girl anymore, giving him a warning glance.

"Put your hand over your head." Rick said in an authoritarian tone. "How many walkers have you killed?" He asked patting the man down.

"None." He said and all of us exchanged surprised looks.

"Turn around." Rick said, continuing his pat down. "How many people have you killed?"

Gabriel looked horrified when he told Rick he hadn't killed anyone, adding things about god not abiding by violence when Rick asked him why.

"Don't you believe in god?" He asked, turning a pleading look to me.

"What kind of god would let his children suffer in a world like this, father?" I asked him, his face surprised as his eyes traveled from the cross around my neck to mine. "It was my mom's, it doesn't mean anything." 

"What have you done?" Rick asked the priest in front of him. "We've all done something."

Gabriel started ranting about being a sinner, and not having to confess his sins to anyone else than god. Daryl and I exchanged an amused glance. How this man was still alive was a total mystery. If what he said about not having killed any walkers was true, he must have been either really lucky or cowarding somewhere.

"You said you had a church?" Michonne asked once Gabriel was done spilling his priest nonsense.

The man nodded, motioning for us to follow him. I walked behind Rick with Judith in my arms, eyeing the priest carefully while he was guiding us toward his church, answering Rick's questions on the way. Daryl and Merle where walking behind me, both clearly waiting for Gabriel to make a wrong move.

"Earlier, were you following us ?" Rick asked.

"No, I usually don't go that far away from my church." The priest said. "Nowadays the living are as bad as the dead, don't you think?"

"Believe me father, people are worst." I scoffed, adjusting Judith in my arms.

"Well I wasn't watching you, I had never been beyond the stream before today." He said. "Or maybe I'm lying, maybe there is no church at all. Maybe I'm leading you away in a trap, so I can steal all your squirrels."

He didn't have time to say anything else, we all stopped dead in our tracks, weapons raising one by one. Daryl and Merle took a step on both side of him, a deep grunt escaping Daryl's lips. I adjusted Judith on my hips, my 9 mm raised toward the man. He turned to us, an uncomfortable smile on his face. When he saw the weapons raised in front of him, his eyes almost bulged out of his head.

"Members of my flock always told me my sense of humor left to be desired." He said, his raised hands shaking.

"It does." Daryl grunted.

"If I was ya I would stop making jokes, father." Merle said, slapping the man's shoulder when he passed by him.

When the church came into view, I let out a relief sight. At least Gabriel hadn't lied about that, I just hoped he hadn't lied about being alone either. I passed Judith to Tyreese and stood next to Daryl in front of the church's stairs. Gabriel almost ran up the stairs, Rick stopping him just before he could open the doors.

"We're just going to take a look." He said, taking the keys from Gabriel's hands. "We just want to hold on to our squirrels." 

The door to the inside creaked when Rick pushed it open. I walked in behind him, Daryl's blue eyes meeting mine before he raised his crossbow and nodded to the left. We all split in different direction, Rick walking forward, Michonne and Glenn taking the right. We walked around, checking every nook and cranny the church held. After a while Daryl tapped my shoulder, motioning he would check the room close to us. I nodded, walking toward the altar while he went through the door.

The sun rays were coming in through the stained-glass, tinting the surrounding area in red hues. The wall was lined up with empty cans of all sort, undoubtedly how Father Gabriel managed to survive without having to kill any walkers. There was a Bible opened on the altar, melted candles surrounding it. The place was eery, but didn't look like it posed an immediate danger to us.

Rick let out a sharp whistle, signaling to everyone to regroup. Once everyone was back in sight, he slowly walked to the front door, his footstep echoing in the silent church. The others followed him outside, Daryl and I staying back.

"Ya think we can trust him?" Daryl asked, his arms snaking around my waist.

"I don't know, he looks like he's hiding something. I just hoped it's not something that will put us in danger."

Daryl hummed in agreement, kissing my forehead before letting me go when the others walked in. Gabriel was telling Rick and the others how he survived, explaining the church's food drive had just ended when the dead awoke. That explained all the empty can. He went on, saying that once those supplies where gone, he emptied every building around except for one, a food bank. My ears perked up at the prospect of eating something other than squirrel.

"What kept you from it?" Rick asked, raising an eyebrow in question.

"It's over run." The priest answered.

"How many?"

"A dozen? Maybe a little more."

"We can handle a dozen." I chirped, looking a Rick for confirmation.

"We'll check it out." Rick finally said, looking around.

"I'm in." Merle and Michonne said in unison, the both of them turning to the other once they realized it. If looks could kill, they would both have fallen where they stood.

"Bob and I will come with you. Tyreese should stay here, help keep Judith safe." Sasha said, defusing the tension between the two of them.

Rick turned to Tyreese, asking him he that was alright with him. Tyreese, being the big softy he is, told him he was more than fine with it, adding Rick could ask whatever he needed when it came to the little girl. 

"I'm grateful for it, and for everything else." Rick said, clearly talking about the fact Tyreese had been the one to keep Judith safe after the prison.

Gabriel said he would draw us a map, Rick letting out a low chuckle before he told him there was no need, that he was tagging along. Gabriel's face fell, his voice shacking as he told Rick he wouldn't be of any help.

"You're coming with us." Rick said, his voice not leaving a choice to the man shaking like a leaf in front of him.

A little while later I was packing my backpack when Daryl came to see me. "What do you think you doin'?" He asked, taking my backpack away.

"What does it look like I'm doing?" I said, trying to get my backpack back from him.

"Alice, you're not coming." Rick said, Daryl giving him a tankful nod.

"What do you mean I'm not going. I'm your best shot, you can't leave me behind." I protested, crossing my arms in front of me.

"I can, and I am." He said, before lowering his voice. "Look, I don't trust Gabriel, he could have friends somewhere. This could all be a ruse to get us out of here, and attack while most of us are gone. Daryl's staying back too, I asked him and Carol to take a look around, try to figure out if we are watched or not." He said, raising his cop eyebrow at me. "Since the other night..." He started but I didn't let him finish.

"What about the other night?" I asked, furrowing my brows.

"Daryl thinks he heard something."

My head snapped in Daryl's direction. "Why didn't you told me about that?"

Daryl was scratching his neck, switching from one foot to the other while avoiding my eyes like his life depended on it. "I..." He started before Rick spoke.

"Because I asked him not too." Rick said, Daryl's eyes finally meeting mine, a look of apologies swirling in his blue eyes. "I didn't want to scare the others."

I let out a low sigh, my arms falling at my side. "Fine, but don't even think about leaving me out next time. If you do, I'll throw a fit so big Judith will be jealous."

Rick let out a low chuckle, Daryl's shoulder slumping in relief that I didn't put up more of a fight to follow. I took my gun on the table, and walked toward the door. I sat on the church's stairs, watching the clouds pass by while the others where getting ready. Daryl sat down next to me, biting his thumb like he did every time he didn't know what to say.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell ya."

I didn't answer, my head turning in his direction. He really looked sorry he didn't tell me and I let out a sigh. "No secrets next time. I love you." I said, kissing his lips softly.

A smirk lighted his face once our lips separated, I shook my head, a smile making its way to my lips. "And don't act like you're not happy Rick wants me to stay here." I said, earning a light chuckle from Daryl that made my heart flip in my chest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really hoped you guys enjoyed this chapter. I'm sorry I didn't update last week, turns out it's way harder than I thought to find time to write with my son's school starting again and my area behing zoned red for covid. It's taking me a lot more time than usual to do everything and stay safe for myself and my family. I'll try to keep a regular update schedule, but I can't garanty I'll be able to. On that note, I'm not giving up on this book so bare with me and don't be alarmed if I don't update every weeks, I just don't have as much time as I thought I would have. 
> 
> Thank you all and stay safe 😷💜


	23. Watched

I stood, shoulders down as I watched the others leave. Daryl stood behind me, his strong arms around my waist. I hated seeing them leave without me, hated that I wasn't there to have their backs while they fought to keep all of us safe. Even though I had opposed going back to eliminate whoever was left at Terminus, fact was they were still on the loose. The thought sent shiver down my spine.

"They all goin' to be fine." Daryl whispered reassuringly in my ear.

"I know." I said with a sigh. 

"Come on, it ain't nothin' they can't handle." He said, kissing my temple softly.

"I just can't shake the feeling that something bad is going to happen." I said, turning to face him, my arms around his neck.

He didn't say anything, he just kissed me, his lips taking away the feeling of dread clawing inside me.

"Are you doing that to make me forget you're leaving too?" I said with a pout.

Just on cue, Carol turned the corner, her bag on her shoulder and Daryl's crossbow dangling at her side. She smiled at me, taking a few steps toward us.

"Don't worry honey, I'll make sure he doesn't do anything stupid." She said with a wink, comfortingly squeezing my shoulder.

I laughed, I had missed Carol and her maternal side. The fact that she was Daryl's best friends made my heart ache a little less, knowing she would fight teeth and nails not to lose him.

"Imma see ya again, love." Daryl whispered in my ear, kissing my forehead before engulfing me in his arms. 

I inhaled deeply, his scent of wood and smoke filling my nostrils. I gripped his shirt, kissing him deeply before letting go of him. "I love you." I said, his face lighting up with a smile and his lips colliding with mine one last time before he turned and left.

I watched them leave as well, before turning and going up the church's stairs. I walked in, smiling when my eyes fell on Carl bouncing a happy Judith on his knee. I sat down next to them, propping my feet on the bench in front of me.

"What did my dad told you? About you not going." Carl asked, his face suddenly turning serious.

"He told me the priest's hiding something." I told him, not feeling like I needed to hide it from the little man in front of me. "What did he told you?"

"Same. But I don't think he's dangerous. Everyone can't be bad right?" He asked, turning toward me.

"You're right buddy. But still, don't let your golden heart fool you into thinking everyone is good. Just...keep your guards up ok?"

He chuckled. "Dad said the same thing."

"See? Your dad can't always be wrong." I said with a wink.

Judith screamed, clearly wondering why her horse stopped galloping, and Carl and I laughed. The little girl didn't find it funny like we did, screaming on top of her lungs while big tears fell down her chubby cheeks.

"Looks like someone's tired." I said, taking Judith from Carl.

He gave me a thankful look, getting up while I walked to a room in the back of the church. I closed the door behind me, rocking Judith in my arms while humming a lullaby. Her eyes were getting heavier, and it wasn't long before she fell asleep in my arms. I smiled, putting her down in the makeshift crib we made her with a basket.

I left the room, giving one last look to the peacefully sleeping girl, leaving the door slightly opened behind me. Tyreese was sitting in the front row, reading a Bible. I told him I would get water to clean some clothes, and he nodded, telling me to be careful out there. I rolled my eyes, telling him not to worry and left, grabbing a bucket on my way out.

I walked across the lawn on my way to the stream nearby, passing by the bus Abraham and Rosita were trying to fix to go to Washington. Eugene was napping under a tree nearby, and I couldn't help but wonder if a man that helpless could really hold the cure for the virus that plagued humanity. Since I've met him, not once did I see him getting his hands dirty. If it wasn't for Abraham and Rosita, that man would have been roaming the earth aimlessly in search of flesh to sink his teeth in.

I kept thinking about it as I walked slowly to the stream, the birds chirping away in the trees over my head like nothing bad was happening in the world, uncaring about how fucked up life had turned. Abraham's group plans to go to Washington left me uneasy. There was a chance that they were right, that we could stop everything that was happening. If that Eugene guy was really saying the truth, which they seemed to believe, that would mean we had a real chance at starting over. But no matter how much I wanted it all to be true, there was also a part of me that didn't believe it was possible at all.

I kneeled down next to the stream and started to fill the bucket. I was lost in my thought when I heard the rustling of leaves in the trees behind me. I got up, walking to the edge of the forest and carefully looked around me, trying to locate the source of the sound. I couldn't see anything, but had the uncanny feeling of being watched. I shook it of as I walked back to the water bank, my hair standing up at the base of my neck. I bent over to grab the bucket, a walker stumbling in my line of sight as I got back up. 

Sighing, I grabbed the handle of my knife, taking a few strides toward it. Before I could even reach it, two others had emerged from the woods, not far from where I was standing. "Motherfuckers." I whispered under my breath, switching my knife for my machete and assessing my surrounding.

I stood my ground as the closest one lunged at me, my machete hitting his head with a sickening sound and somehow getting stuck. While I tried to get my machete out of the head of the walker I had just killed, the second one grabbed at my arm, visibly not able to wait for his turn. My feet slipped on the muddy ground, and I cursed under my breath as I fell to the ground, managing to cut my arm on a branch on my way down. I reached for my knife, cringing at the familiarity of the situation as it snapped its jaw at me. I really had to stop getting myself stuck under those things. I discarded it, getting up as fast as I could and turning myself to face the walker that was left.

Once it was close enough I took a hold of his shirt collar, my knife sinking easily in his rotten skull. He collapsed to the ground, and I wiped my hand on my jeans, scrunching my nose at the putrid smell emanating from the corpses laying at my feet while I put my knife back in its sheat and retrieved my machete.

I went back to the church, not giving a second thought to the bucket that laid by the river, or the feeling of being watched that still made goosebumps crawl all over my skin.

*****

After cleaning the cut on my arm, I was walking around the church when I saw Carl standing in front of a wall. I walked up to him, a smile on my face until I saw the worried look on his. My eyes followed his line of sigh, my smile instantly falling when I saw what he was looking at. There around the window, were marks, as if someone tried to pry it open. In the paint next to it, in bold capital letters were etched five words that made my skin crawl.

YOU'LL BURN FOR THIS.

My fingers lightly brushed the marking, my heart nearly stopping in my chest when Rick voice rang in my ears.

"Hey, we're back. We got food if you guys are hungry." He said, stopping dead in his tracks when he saw our faces. His eyes followed my hand, and he took a few steps, removing it to see what was under.

"Now we know he really is hiding something, but keep it mind it doesn't mean he's bad." I said, remembering Carl's words while looking intently at Rick.

"Dad, don't do anything before you're sure of what this mean." Carl pleaded with his dad, his face serious as he looked his dad right in the eyes.

Rick let out a long sigh, pinching the bridge of his nose before finally nodding. Carl and I exchanged a relieved glance, the both of us following Rick back to the church without a word.

As we turned the corner, Daryl and Carol came into view. I rushed to him, my body colliding with his and his crossbow falling to the ground as his arms encircled me. Once he got me down, he pushed me at arms length, his eyes narrowing when he saw the bandage on my arm.

"What the fuck happened?" He said, panic evident in his eyes as he scanned me in search of another injury he might have missed.

"It's just a scratch Daryl." I said, suddenly realizing how bad the situation from earlier could have gotten. "I went to get water and got attacked by walkers. One of them lunged at me and I scratched my arms on a branch on the way down. It's nothing, really, I'm fine."

"What the hell where ya doin' alone?" He screamed, his hands traveling my body frantically in search of a bite mark that wasn't there. 

"Daryl, please. I'm sorry I went alone but I'm fine." I said, my heart constriction at the worry visible in his face. I really felt stupid that I hadn't thought about what could have happened, that I had uselessly put myself in danger and made him feel like he felt at that moment.

Once he was done checking me over he pulled me back in his arms, his hand buried in my hair as he leaned his forehead against mine.

"I'm sorry." I said, my voice shaking as tears threatened to fall from my eyes when I saw the storm brewing in his.

"No I'm sorry. I ain't got no right to yell at ya like that." He whispered, wiping the tear that was falling down my cheek. "I just...I can't lose ya." He said, kissing me like his life depended on it.

Carol cleared her throat, bringing the both of us back to reality. Daryl looked at the ground, shifting his weight from one foot to the other as a blush creeped up to his face.

"If we're followed, they're damn good at hiddin' their trail." Daryl said, finally realizing Rick was there.

"We'll keep an eye out, keep watch at night to make sure." Rick said, taking the water jugs Carol had in her hands.

That night we made and actual feast for the first time in a long time. The food they brought back from the food bank would last us for a while, and given the fact we hadn't eaten anything else than what we could hunt lately, it was the best way to get everyone's spirit up. Gabriel even let us drink his communion wine, and for the first time since the prison, everyone was enjoying themselves.

I sat on the floor, my back to Daryl's chest, belly full and wine warming my inside, the event of earlier long forgotten. He kissed my temple, whispering in my ears to meet him outside in five minute before leaving. I giggled, Merle giving me a questioning look before his eyes followed his brother, realization slowly creeping up his face.

"You guys are as subtle as an elephant in a china shop." He said with a smirk.

"You only say that because you're jealous." I slurred, taking another sip of wine.

"I think you had enough, sweetheart." He said, taking my glass away with a wink before downing it.

"Aww, you're no fun." I pouted. "You're lucky your brother's waiting for me, or I would have kicked your sorry ass." I said as I got up, the room slightly spinning as I did.

"Keep on dreamin', sweetheart."

I walked to the door, smiling at Gleen and Maggie snuggling together as I passed by them. When I opened the door, the cool night air hit me a second before Daryl's lips came crashing down on mine. I laughed, Daryl taking my hand and leading me around the church. 

Once we were out of sight, he pushed me against the wall, his body crashing down on mine. My head was spinning deliciously as we kissed, his warm lips on mine making desire bubble in my stomach. I moaned when our lips separated, a smile lighting up my face when my eyes met his.

"Ya have no idea what it does to me when yur smillin' like this." He groaned, his hands roaming my body as he kissed down my neck.

"Why don't you show me, big guy?" I said, biting my bottom lip, my hand playing with his belt buckle.

He groaned, biting my neck while his hand snaked up my shirt. His warm hands caressing my skin felt wonderful. Maybe it was the wine talking, but there was no doubt I wouldn't be able to wait much longer. I remove my shirt and bra, his heated gaze watching my every moves like the hunter he was. I was more than happy to be his prey, my skin buzzing with expectations of what was to come. As soon as my breast where free, he took one in his mouth. My hands instinctively grabbed his hair when he flicked my nipple with his tongue, the action sending electricity through my body.

"Daryl." I moaned as he slipped his hand in my panties, his finger gliding on my already wet lower lips. 

"Already wet for me, girl?" He said, his eyes dark with lust as he undid my jeans to allow himself more room.

His finger circled my clitoris, sending delicious shiver down my spine before he plunged it in my pussy. I gasped, a smirk appearing on his face when he realized how responsive my body was to his touch. He kissed me lightly, his lips barely grazing mine as he watched my reaction.

I undid his belt buckle, not wanting to wait a second more before feeling him inside me. His erection sprang out as soon as I got his jeans down, getting rid of mine as his hit the ground. I grabbed his dick, moving my hand up and down his shaft. He moaned, kissing me hungrily as I swiped the pre-cum that was leaking out with my thumb.

Daryl removed his shirt, discarding it with the rest of our clothes. His hands grabbed my hips, swinging upward. My leg circled his hips, my breath catching in my throat when I felt him entering me.

"I wanted to go soft on ya, but look like that ain't what ya need." He said, pushing himself further inside me.

"Come on, fuck me." I moaned, Daryl grunting while he started moving inside me.

His lips met mine, our kiss leaving me breathless as he moved inside me. Every thrust of his hips made my toes curl and my breath itch in my throat. I moaned his name in his ear, biting down on my lips to try to muffle the sound escaping my lips.

"I ain't gonna last long if ya keep moaning like that, love." He said, his words making my walls cramp around him.

"I don't care, come with me. I'm so close." I whined, Daryl doubling his attack on me with a groan.

I felt his dick throbbing inside seconds before my orgasm came. He pushed himself in as deep as he could, my walls clenching around him as my toes curled, milking him of every last drop he had in him. I pushed back a strand of hair falling in front of his eyes, looking in his deep blue eyes before I kissed him. He returned the kiss eagerly, leaning his forehead against mine once our lips separated.

"Damn girl, remind me how I got so lucky?" He said with a smirk.

I laughed, kissing his nose. "I'm not sure which of us is the luckiest, honestly."

We kissed one last time before he left me down. My legs were shaking under me as I put my jeans on, Daryl giving me side glance as we both got dress. A sudden shiver ran down my spine, my smile faltering as the feeling of being watched came back.

"Ya good?" Daryl asked, his brows furrowed.

"Yeah it's just...I keep feeling like I'm being watched." I said, crossing my arms around myself, trying to shake away the feeling. "It's probably just the fact that nothing happened since terminus, things haven't been that good since the prison. I can't shake the feeling that something's is bound to happen..."

"Hey." He said, pulling me closer to him as he lifted my chin, so I would look at him. "I'm here, nothin' gonna happen to ya." He said, kissing me softly.

I smiled against his lips before looking up to him. A smirk made its way to his face before he grabbed me and swung me on his shoulder, a giggle escaping my lips as he spined me around.

Once he got me down he kissed me again, one of his hand snaking up my hair and the other cupping my cheek. "Ain't nothin' gonna happen to ya as long as I'm around. I won't let it." He repeated, is word soothing me.

"I know." I whispered, leaning my forehead against his with a soft smile on my face. I let out a sigh before we slowly made it back to the church, a warm feeling replacing the dread inside my stomach.

"Remind me to cross getting fuck with my back against a church from my bucket list." I said with a wink as we got up the stairs to the church, the both of us laughing as he opened the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It took way longer than I wanted for me to be able to post this chapter. I know I said it already but I'll say it again: I don't want the quality to suffer just because I don't have as much time as I would like. So with that said, thank you all for your patience. I'll keep the chapters coming don't you worry 💜


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